Wednesday, March 4, 2020

Driven out.

Photo copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved.
    That's my girl in the front, and I'm right there with her: driven out of every space where I rightly should belong.

    I'm backing away. A lot. I got two very stark reminders yesterday of my worth to the rest of the world, two very public erasures, hours apart, in two very different contexts, one offline, one on-, and both absolutely unforgivable. But I'm a mixed Indigenous woman, and so my only value in this world is what I can provide to others to take and present and perform as their own, whether it's access, praxis, or even knowing whom to help, while everyone involved erases me to my face. I have no value to folks otherwise, and that has been made clear to me from the fucking cradle.

    Every single day is a battle for survival for me, health-wise. I'm not going to justify my existence to such people, nor am I going to engage with those who for years now have elevated and worshipped the very people who harm me and mine daily. I'm done. 

    We have done truly an inordinate amount of helping other folks, locally and otherwise, in recent weeks, and for the moment, that's done, too. It's being treated as an entitlement, and the amount of going without that I do for strangers and friends and family alike is now at an end. With regard to engagement of any sort, I'll be doing the minimum publicly, and focusing on Wings and myself now. He needs my help; I need his. We need to make sales, and we need to survive. I don't have time for anything else. 
    Please share everything. Thanks.


    All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used 
    or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

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