Thursday, October 8, 2020

In all the awful, unexpected beauty.

Photo copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved.

This week is terrible, across the board. Mostly it's the cost, and the fact that I have no way of covering the rest of this month, never mind the rest of this year. A lot of it, though, is the logistics, the sheer physical strain and resultant fatigue. It's a lot harder to do a lot of these things than it used to be. 

So yesterday, it was a gift to see, in all the awful, unexpected beauty. Rarity, too. Steller's jays are indigenous here, but in this particularly area? Almost never seen. I think we might have seen one way out in the backcountry a decade ago. Here? Never. Until yesterday. And he was back at the other feeder this morning. For me, this has a birding/photography grail for more years than I can count.

And I'm grateful for every tiny thing right now, because everything else is unrelievedly terrible. The drought is still here, the smoke is still here, people are still fucking noncompliant with the most basic pandemic restrictions, and the state hit a new record spike in cases yesterday, higher even than in March and April. Has the governor reclosed anything? Of course not. So it's going to get a lot worse, very fast. 

And I still have the cost of Wings's telemedicine appointment yesterday, as well as the pups' final boosters at the vet. Those are covered. What I can't manage is his emergency dental today plus meds, or our other own medicals tomorrow, or the annual propane tank rental, or all the regular monthly bills. Never mind the rest of the year; never mind the well we need to drill. Never mind the hearing aids I need to replace for Wings, because one of the last pair broke just after the warranty expired, and the ones he needs are three grand for a pair. I can't even cover basics. Sales are nonexistent again, and every penny of my Patreon has to go to essentials, which this month meant it covered the balance on the quarterly taxes and some food and the Internet to keep the site up and running.

I'm so tired. Every year, I think that this will be the year I get to take it a little easy in my birthday month, and every year, I get buried under a tidal wave of endless crap. This pandemic has caused me no end of extra work, but our income level is even worse than it's been all through this Nazi "administration," and it's getting worse yet by the day. I don't have family who can help. This is all on me, and there's only so much I can do by myself. Everyone wants money, and I can't manufacture it out of thin pandemic-riddled air. He's gotten the tooth extracted and is resting with an ice pack. Meanwhile, I still have to figure out how to make it all work. I need help. 

You can help by sharing our links. You can especially help if you're in the market for high-end, Spirit-infused Indigenous wearable art, for yourself or as a gift, by considering Wings's work for purchase. It's also  back-to-school season, even if remotely in some places, with all the events that that entails; birthdays come and go year-round; Halloween and Thanksgiving and Christmas especially will all be here before we know it. 

The links are here:

Please. We need sales. NOW. Thanks.


All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

 

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