Photo copyright Aji, 2017; all rights reserved. |
Yeah, she saw me taking her photo out the window of the truck. She always seems to know where I am, just like I can always feel her presence. I forgot to mention that yesterday, she arrived just as we were preparing to lay Ember to rest, and while we got everything ready, she circled and circled and circled directly overhead, returning again and again as though just waiting for the moment when it would be her turn to escort Ember on her journey. Hawks are escorts and guides, among other things. The moment we laid her little body in the ground, this girl vanished.
She was back today, and while we were at the post office, her man swooped and soared overhead, allowing the raven behind him to believe that he was actually chasing him. The harrier showed up, too, but she's always too fast for me; I almost always get a blur, and such was the case today. I'm feeling completely incompetent, for that and so many other reasons right now, not least because I can't do anything. Living in fear of triggering another attack is not a way to live, and I'm doing the best I can to navigate the line, but without knowing the cause, I can't always avoid it.
And there was another bill in the mailbox today. Not a big one, but the last several have been more than enough on that score. And no sales. I don't know what we're going to do. Wings has new inventory in this works (as well as a few non-time-sensitive commissions nearly completion, folks, so they're on their way shortly), and tomorrow I'll have at least one new item on offer, possibly more. But they have to sell, and we've had precious few sales over the last few weeks as it is. Now that Christmas is over? It feels grim.
There's also something small but new up at my site, which is a complete clusterfuck at the moment, with no response from the platform. Somehow they managed to screw up my site name, not process the redirect, and then set up a new one that does none of those things (and also doesn't include the paid theme), which is what everything goes to at the moment. So I'm going to have to get them to straighten it out, but I have no idea when they'll trouble themselves to get around to it. Until they do, you can "subscribe" via the usual PayPal link below, or you can buy me a coffee (yes, that's a euphemism) here.
So there's a lot of uncertainty with the new year now (and a lot of worry on more fundamental levels than just paying bills and so forth). For now, we still need to make sales, and they will be harder than usual not merely because Christmas is essentially over, but because there is no real tourist traffic, much less spending. We made it through the last week of the year, but looking ahead for this year, we don't have what normally gets us through the rest of the winter (and the weather will change, even if it's only to get really, really cold), much less for the emergency medical expenses of the last six weeks (which included a new bill two days ago for nearly five figures). Forget what remains to be done on the house for now; it's all the rest. But sales are not just what's going to keep me alive and Wings healthy; it's going to help other folks, too. Given the circumstances, I'm leaving up the donation link, too, and the registries have some new items on then, mostly lower-priced, to replace stuff damaged by the RV or given away when we first moved into it seven years ago. And as soon as I can get the folks at Wordpress who were happy enough to take my money to correct their various errors, I'll have a means to subscribe, donate, and eventually buy some things outright on the new site. So please share our links, because we've got to make some sales:
- Wings's direct PayPal link;
- Wings's site, for sales;
- Wayfair gift cards, to replenish all the furnishings that the RV has destroyed in one way or another.
- Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
- Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. Still waiting for them to resolve this fulfillment/shipping problem they have with their site. Even so, I've added some things (kitchen/dining room stuff mostly), most of which are comparatively reasonably priced. Now, it's going to be mostly odds and ends that make this place more liveable, because of the sheer volume of stuff destroyed by too many years in the RV (e.g., by the oven and stovetop, by the wiring, by the water, by the mold, etc.), or that we simply gave away seven years ago because we had no room and no place to put them and despaired of ever being able to use them again.
As I've also been saying, I am still catching up, and will be now for a while. But this is the holiday season, and the sales/commissions from these few weeks are what keep us alive throughout the whole long winter and spring months (to say nothing of what's in the offing medically), so please continue to share the links. And please refer folks to Wings's site (and if you have an endorsement, too, so much the better). I'll be trying, slowly but, I hope, steadily, to get caught up over the course of this week. We have some massive expenses coming down the pike, and a lot of testing yet to be done before I'm out of the woods. So please keep sharing all our links. For now, I'm just so damn grateful to be alive, to have a healthy heart, to be back home with the love of my life and our dogs, the whole world is beautiful, even in spite of my terrible depression. Thanks again, to everybody; we love you all. And, if wishes can make dreams come true, a blessed Spirit Moon, the ability to sit atop the mountain and face the world below, and a happy, healthy new year to all of us.
All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.
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