On ice.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

That's not water; it's ice. And everywhere the snow's been plowed, we have either an inch of sucking, grasping mud, or that up there, two inches thick and incredibly slick. 

I'm on ice in everything right now, apparently, just waiting for everything to go skidding out from under me. A few hundred dollars more out the door today with the latest medical stuff. Among other things, another blood draw for a bunch of additional labwork; trigger-point injections to try to get my back pain under control — EIGHTEEN OF THEM, and one nerve spasmed so badly it broke the needle; and oh, yeah, the food thing on top of all the regular medical stuff. Some of the bloodwork is to check for food sensitivities, the idea being that even if we can't identify the esophageal and other issues yet with any specificity, maybe we can find certain triggers and stop my body reacting to them (and thus, maybe stop part of what's causing my breathing to stop, my blood pressure to spike, and my coronary artery to shut down). Unfortunately, the bloodwork is not especially sensitive for some things, so starting tomorrow, I begin a three-month medical diet that excludes all dairy (not a problem, since I'm allergic to all things cow and so exclude it already anyway); all gluten (ugh; everything's got wheat in it); all eggs (double ugh, because no eggs at breakfast and none in baking? really?); and no nightshades (triple ugh, because no fricking chile anymore and I don't know how I get through that part of it). So, anyway, this means replacing all my flours and buying egg substitutes and so forth, and damn, but it's expensive to do these elimination diets, so that's more money on top of the medical stuff that I wasn't expecting, but here we are. And I have more appointments and imaging tests next week, and I'm about to tear my hair out.

As I've said, with the economy in the shambles it is, we have had not a single sale since before Christmas, not one in 2019 yet. We were fortunate to have squirreled away funds to cover this at the moment, but it's only January. I'm terrified of what this year is going to bring, expense-wise, especially if they find something . . . not good, which is also terrifying in and of itself. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. All this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until January 1st for December);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).

All we want, to be able to have some confidence in making it through the whole year with whatever they're going to find going wrong in my body, is to make some sales. That's it: sales; nothing else. But I haven't been able to make even that happen, and the stress is telling. Good vibes for Raven are still welcome (he's hanging in), but I could use some, too, and some help with sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em). Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

#TBT: Old Lines and New Directions

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

It's #ThrowbackThursday at The NDN Silver Blog, with a work from last fall crafted for a friend of ours who lives locally. These were to replace a pair of very old earrings wrought in vintage style (and of similar age) that had long since been lost, and Wings adhered to the originals' spirit in his own unique style, creating a work of old lines and new directions.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. These are one of a kind, of course, but if the traditional shape and general style speak to your spirit, simply inquire via the site's Contact form; Wings can create a version uniquely your own. And, as always, sales are very much needed (a few hundred more out the door today on medical issues), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

My boys. No end in sight on other things.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

My boys. Raven is still enamored of his bones, and having his ears scratched, and occasionally running clumsily through the snow.

My own stress levels, though, are out of control. Another appointment tomorrow, with more labwork and more expense, and two major appointments next week, including the imaging. We have got to make some sales. As I've said, with the economy in the shambles it is, we have had not a single sale since before Christmas, not one in 2019 yet. We were fortunate to have squirreled away funds to cover this at the moment, but it's only January. I'm terrified of what this year is going to bring, expense-wise, especially if they find something . . . not good, which is also terrifying in and of itself. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. All this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until January 1st for December);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).

All we want, to be able to have some confidence in making it through the whole year with whatever they're going to find going wrong in my body, is to make some sales. That's it: sales; nothing else. But I haven't been able to make even that happen, and the stress is telling. Good vibes for Raven are still welcome, but I could use some, too, and some help with sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em). Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

The Way of the Hoop and the Lines of the Path

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's one of Wings's most recent works, a piece infused with the power of guidance and direction. It's useful, too, in this bitterly cold season, a reminder that the way of the hoop and the lines of the path will make themselves known if we put in the work of looking for them.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (more labwork and another appointment tomorrow, and more huge medical expenses coming next week), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Longer days. Epic stress.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

Last night's sunset. Beautiful, and coming later now; the light lasts noticeably longer these days. If only my energy levels could do the same.

Yesterday's hectic pace wore us both out. In my case, part of it is adjusting to the inhaler (or, more accurately, I suppose, to the steroid it delivers). It makes me hoarse, and my breathing yesterday was very labored all day. We've had very cold fog here this morning, so I'm staying indoors as much as possible. Raven doesn't have much interest in being outside either, thankfully; he's stretched out on his side snoozing on the rug right now.

My stress levels, though, are epic. We have got to make some sales. Thanks to the orange horror wrecking the economy still further, we have had not a single sale since before Christmas, not one in 2019 yet. We were fortunate to have squirreled away funds to cover this at the moment, but it's only January. I'm terrified of what this year is going to bring, expense-wise, especially if they find something . . . not good, which is also terrifying in and of itself. All this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until January 1st for December);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).

All we want, to be able to have some confidence in making it through the whole year with whatever they're going to find going wrong in my body, is to make some sales. That's it: sales; nothing else. But I haven't been able to make even that happen, and the stress is telling. Good vibes for Raven are still welcome, but I could use some, too, and some help with sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em). Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Red Willow Spirit: Lines and Shadows

Photo copyright Wings, 2019; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's an edition of Red Willow Spirit for the clear snowy days of midwinter. It's a reflection, too, on identity and legacy, on purpose and duty, on the lines and shadows that must be drawn and cast in the right direction.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, his photos are available for purchase in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed ($1,800 out the door in the last two weeks, with much more on the medical front to come this week and next, and likely well beyond), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Sinkhole.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

It looks like a sinkhole forming under the snow, which is a perfect metaphor right now for my medical issues and thee financial strain it's causing, to say nothing of what the stress and fear are doing to my mood. It's actually, apparently, a prairie-dog run, or at least a hole, covered by the snow. It's muddy because Cricket and KitFox have been at it for a week now, Cricket in particular. Not that they've caught anything, but hope springs (or sinks) eternal, apparently. Raven can't be bothered, fortunately.

Today has been wildly inconvenient, necessitating  multiple trips to try to solve one thing, and an expense I wasn't prepared for. We just shelled out $600+ on Friday; today was another $600+ for something I mistakenly expected would be about a sixth of that. I have three figures' worth of tests and treatment coming up on Thursday (no, I don't know how many three figures yet), and two days of tests and appointments next week that will run somewhere into four figures before we're done. And it all has to be cash on the barrelhead.

My stress levels are out of control, and it's only Monday.

We have got to make some sales. Thanks to the orange horror wrecking the economy still further, we have had not a single sale since before Christmas, not one in 2019 yet. We were fortunate to have squirreled away funds to cover this at the moment, but it's only January. I'm terrified of what this year is going to bring, expense-wise, especially if they find something . . . not good, which is also terrifying in and of itself. All this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until January 1st for December);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).

Good vibes for Raven are still welcome. I could use some, too.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Monday Photo Meditation: Standing In Line

Photo copyright Wings, 2019; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a photo meditation for a cold clear Monday in an environment where exposure is dangerous. It's a contemplation, too, of a lesson our ancestors knew well, of the importance of a united front, of banding together and standing in line.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, his photos are available for purchase in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. Also as always, sales are very much needed (badly now; massive medical bills the last two weeks and the two upcoming, and no idea how much worse it will get beyond that), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Snow, steroids, tests, and the virtues of bullheadedness.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

Still plenty of snow on the ground (except, of courses, where it was plowed; that's all mud now). High today is 24, and the clouds have rolled in, so even though the weather people can't make up their minds, we might get snow tomorrow after all.

Raven is lying on a path in the snow outside, where he's been gnawing on a bone. The pred/mox protocol is clearly helping him. It's not going to heal him; any chance for that was long past before the problem ever manifested itself in such a way that we could see a problem existed. But if it keeps him mostly comfortable and happy for whatever time he has, I'll take that. He's had a couple of accidents (one large; one small), because the main tumor is pressing on his bladder when he sleeps, but other than that, he's managing pretty well. He's also pretty happy, so we're grateful for that.

For me, this is an adjustment period with regard to the inhaler — Well, not the inhaler per se, but the steroid it delivers. My innate bullheadedness has kicked in, and I'm refusing to entertain the notion that the masses are anything but fixable, at least for the most part. It's taking an all-out effort of will on my part, but it's better than obsessing about the alternative.

More appointments and bloodwork this coming week; appointments and imaging tests the week after. That means that it's going to be a very expensive two weeks (hell, it's already very expensive, but it's going to get a lot worse), so since all this stuff is piling up fast, here are the links for sharing (or using, if anyone's so inclined:

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until January 1st for December);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).

Good vibes for Raven are still welcome. I could use some, too.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

The Blue of the Storm

Photo copyright Aji, 2019;
all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a work for changed winter weather, in a place and time where a trickster whirlwind can arise out of the snow itself. It's one of my favorites, a piece of unusual power manifest in a snowy vortex of shimmering silver and the blue of the storm.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (more appointments and lab work this week; more appointments and tests next week), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Red skies, and a quick summary of IT.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019;
all rights reserved.

Red skies. Sunset last night, after we were finally home and the chores were done. Today's been hectic, too; all the medical and other appointments and vehicle issues and dog problems this month have put us way behind on all kinds of things. Wings has an absolutely spectacular concha belt in the works, and he hasn't been able to get back into the studio to work on it for about two weeks now. The next two weeks are going to be a mess, too, mostly because of my medical stuff.

A quick summary, without going into two much gory detail: What we know so far is that I have at least one organ enlarged and at least one other with [at least] two masses on it.The former could turn out to be something very ordinary, although my labs are bizarrely normal for what would be expected for this scenario. The latter? That's the $64K question, or, rather, set of questions: Is it only the two? Is it only that organ, or are others implicated? Are they benign or not? Are they . . . something else (i.e., not tumors) that could be relatively manageable, or one of too many other possibilities that fall into the horror-show category? And to top it all off, neither of these seems to be implicated in whatever almost killed me twice 14+ months ago. IOW, these are entirely out of left field, something no one was looking for, much less expecting, and we still don't know what caused the other issues. The one thing that has changed is that, after more than half a century (thanks, Mom, for fucking that up for me my whole life), I finally have an asthma diagnosis, and a ludicrously expensive inhaler to go with it. Also a caution that it'll be about a month before we know whether it's working. 

Yesterday also included another very costly blood test, and there will be a lot more bloodwork with a bunch of different panels coming up next week. The following week, ultrasounds of the organs in question, with a look to see whether anything else in the general vicinity is a problem, too. And depending on what that shows, possibly more imaging, possibly more invasive measures, possibly really scary stuff . . . or possibly no more than we know now, which is not comforting, either.

We're focusing on the prospect of good news right now, because goddammit, I can't handle the thought of the really, really bad stuff, and I'm not going to handle it well at all if it turns out to be worst-case that could have been prevented had they done the right thing 14.5 months ago. But it's going to be a very expensive two weeks (hell, it's already very expensive, but it's going to get a lot worse), so since all this stuff is piling up fast, here are the links for sharing (or using, if anyone's so inclined:

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until January 1st for December);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).

Good vibes for Raven are still welcome. I could use some, too.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

A Precipitate Blue

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's one of Wings's more recent works, a hand-milled barrette and hand-stamped pick set with the cobalt color of the storm. It's a lesson, too, about respect for the elements in this place of extremes where storms arise seemingly out of nowhere, a reminder that, rain or snow, it all begins with a precipitate blue.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (the sale of this would cover yesterday's medical outlay), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

A cold north wind, and a hugely expensive day (that will get a lot *more* expensive over the next two weeks).

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

What a cold north wind looks like. It was absolutely brutal even at midday; it wasn't until late afternoon, when we came out of the doctor's office, that it had warmed up at all. On the plus side, though, Raven was waiting for us when we got home, and came running to meet us. He's snoring now on the living room floor.

Pretty much the whole afternoon was spent on medical stuff. A smooth $600 out the door today alone, with a lot more coming next week, and a lot more the week after that. One new and ridiculously expensive scrip today. On the rest, we're beginning with new imaging of the affected organs: two ultrasounds a little less than two weeks from now (which is the earliest they could get me in). From there, depending on what it shows, it may be a best-case matter of meds, or it may be a matter of yet more imaging, or it may be a matter of very invasive and expensive steps indeed, the kind that involve no sure promise of a good ending. We're focusing on the first option right now, because I'm not going to handle it well at all if it turns out to be worst-case that could have been prevented had they done the right thing 14.5 months ago. But it's going to be a very expensive two weeks (hell, it's already very expensive, but it's going to get a lot worse), so since all this stuff is piling up fast, here are the links for sharing (or using, if anyone's so inclined:

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until January 1st for December);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).

Good vibes for Raven are still welcome. I could use some, too.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Friday Feature: Edged In Blue

Photo copyright Aji, 2019;
all rights reserved.

It's our Friday Feature at The NDN Silver Blog, with the final entry in this month's highlighted collection by one of Wings's oldest friends in the regional Native art world. It's a small maiden in the colors of the earth, one who reminds us to look up occasionally from the ice and the muck to notice the beauty of a world edged in blue.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And as always, sales are very much needed (this would cover one of today's blood tests), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Rib bones and other body parts.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

Raven yesterday, with two massive rib bones. The local folks who raise and butcher cattle give us the bones for the dogs, and we scored two big boxes of them yesterday. At the moment, Raven's inside with me, snoring away on the floor. [No, he doesn't have a lot of time left. But the medication is giving him enough energy to enjoy life when he's not sleeping, and even to run occasionally.]

Otherwise, the week has been mostly hot garbage, and it's going to get worse. Speaking of body parts, I'll be spending tomorrow afternoon in the doctor's office, learning what she thinks these things have the potential to be, whether there's anything we can do immediately, and what additional testing will be required (quite a bit more imaging at a minimum; also maybe more invasive things that I don't like contemplating).

As I said, I have no idea what the cost is going to be, and we'll have to pay cash up front again for that cost to be remotely manageable. Beyond that, it all depends on what the new imaging shows. Even best-case scenario is going to be serious; my luck doesn't tend to run to best cases, so I have to get my head around the idea of potentially very bad news all while hoping for the best so I don't lose it completely right now. I'm not going to handle it well at all if it turns out to be worst-case that could have been prevented had they done the right thing 14.5 months ago. Meanwhile, all this stuff is piling up fast, so here are the links for sharing (or using, if anyone's so inclined:

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until January 1st for December);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).

Good vibes for Raven are still welcome. I could use some, too.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

#ThrowbackThursday: Rare as a Blue Winter's Moon

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

It's #TBT at The NDN Silver Blog, with a work commissioned by a dear friend that would become an addition to a collection Wings designed specially for her. It's a hair cuff in lapis and silver evoking elemental powers and spirits, one that, like our weather patterns now, is rare as a blue winter's moon.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. This is a one-of-a-kind piece, obviously, but if the general style speaks to your spirit, simply inquire via the site's Contact form; Wings can create a version uniquely your own. And, as always, sales are very much needed (another medical bill tomorrow, and a great deal more upcoming over the next two weeks), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

A trickster wind, and facing what's ahead.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

Snow devil. It was certainly a trickster wind at work yesterday.

If you read yesterday's post, you already know that I got less-than-wonderful news about my scans. I finally got my follow-up scheduled at the very end of the day; I go in Friday afternoon to see about next steps, but they will certainly involve more imaging on a wider scale and with, hopefully, greater specificity. That will entail another trip to Santa Fe and what will undoubtedly be a far bigger cash outlay on the day of the tests.

As I said, I have no idea what the cost is going to be, and we'll have to pay cash up front for it again to be remotely manageable. Beyond that, it all depends on what the new imaging shows. If it's limited to what's already been found, it could be something manageable (or it could be something veery bad). If it's more widespread . . . ? Right now, I just need to hold it together and not think too much about what it could be. I'm having difficulty keeping my mind from racing ahead to all the potentials, but facing what's ahead has to be done, whatever it shows. Meanwhile, all this stuff is piling up fast, so here are the links for sharing (or using, if anyone's so inclined (selling today's featured work would probably take care of a decent chunk of the next imaging round):

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until January 1st for December);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).

Good vibes for Raven are still welcome. I could use some, too.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

The Blue of Water and Sky

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's one of my favorites among Wings's current body of work, a simple, spare, elegant piece wrought in traditional fashion that holds lessons for us all. In this season of fierce cold and trickster winds that steal breath and the very marrow from bones, it reminds us that the same powers that plague our small existence give life, too — that there is no earth without the blue of water and sky, and the winds to deliver it.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (bad news yesterday, and this sale would pay for a good chunk of the next round of imaging that's being scheduled), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Bleak skies, a bitter wind, and fear made very, very real.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

Bleak skies. We have a bitter north wind today trying to kick up a ground blizzard out of the inch-plus of new snow from this morning.

Raven is asleep on the rug; he has his ups and downs, but he's made it clear that he wants to stick around for the moment. That's the good news.

Mine is . . . less so. I have the immediate results of last weeks' imaging, and am waiting to hear again from my doc about immediate steps and scheduling. I'm not going into gory details here; suffice to say that at least two organs are implicated (neither, thankfully, heart or lungs). There is pretty clearly no scenario in which this is nothing to worry about. The question for the moment is whether it's something relatively easily handled, or something else that has the potential to be very bad indeed. This is fear made very, very real now. The next real step is going to be more imaging, as fast as we can get it scheduled, essentially. I have no idea what the cost is going to be, and we'll have to pay cash up front for it again to be remotely manageable. Beyond that . . . ? It all depends on what it shows. I had dared to hope that we might be granted a bit of a reprieve on that front, but I guess not. Right now, I just need to hold it together and not think too much about what it could be. Meanwhile, all this stuff is piling up fast, so here are the links for sharing (or using, if anyone's so inclined):

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until January 1st for December);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).

Good vibes for Raven are still welcome. I could use some, too.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Red Willow Spirit: The Blue Beyond the Storm

Photo copyright Wings, 2019; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's an edition of Red Willow Spirit for a bitter midwinter's day beneath slow-clearing skies. It's a reminder, too, of our good fortune here, to blessed with the knowledge that, whatever the weather, there always will be the blue beyond the storm.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, his photos are available for purchase in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed, so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Spirit Moon; nothing to do with wolves.

Spirit Moon before the red showed up last night. Nothing to do with wolves, or with blood, either.

No sleep last night, and that was nothing to do with the eclipse, but everything to do with an ongoing, unrelenting "episode." It's all aggravated by worry over Raven; after a good day yesterday, I thought we might lose him this morning, but not yet. He's on his bed snoozing again, but a few minutes ago he was outside chasing after a bone deep in the snow, grabbing it, tossing it up, then trotting back to his spot off the deck to chew it. I have no illusions about his condition or his chances; I just want him to be happy and comfortable the whole time he has left.

For myself, as I said, I won't know the imaging results before tomorrow at the earliest, and regardless of the results, there will be much more medical stuff after this, although we don't know the form and shape it will take yet. Hopefully, something fixable, and relatively easily so; the fear of what could be lurking is aggravating everything else. After last night? The fear has spiked, even though it never really leaves. Meanwhile, all this stuff is piling up fast, so here are the links for sharing (or using, if anyone's so inclined):

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until January 1st for December);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).

As I also said, Coyote is in the spirit world now, with a hole in my heart is never going away, and I'd really like not to have it grow by Raven size right now. Good vibes for Raven are still welcome. We know it's unlikely that he has long. We just want him to be comfortable and happy for what he has left. There's nothing to be done for broken hearts.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Monday Photo Meditation: A Fierce Light In a Dangerous Blue

Photo copyright Wings, 2019; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a photo meditation for a Monday spent awaiting the storm. It's a message, too, about the power of illumination in perilous times, with a fierce light in a dangerous blue.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, his photos are available for purchase in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed, so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Closer.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

Little Man finally getting a little closer. That's Cricket, the feral who was so badly abused that even after a year, he won't come near us. With the loss of his sister, though, he seems to have decided that he needs to take the risk a little bit. Two days ago, while Wings was bringing the wood in, he walked through the open door and nosed around inside the house (I didn't see it, but Wings saw him coming back out and told me about it). Then yesterday, he wandered into the studio while he knew that Wings was safely outside it; I saw that, and was able to catch that image of him coming outside again. Both of those are huge firsts for him.

Raven is still fighting. The Prednisone has kicked in, and while he tires easily and sleeps a lot, he also lives for his marrow bones and his baths in the snow (doggy snow angels), and he's got enough energy to trot around periodically. Also enough energy to menace Kit occasionally, although it's kind of half-hearted now. He kind of likes the little dude, but he can't let anybody know that. 

Yesterday was a terrible day for me, health-wise. My BP was up all day just from pain and the latest episode with my chest/lungs/coronary artery/whateverthehellitis, and that terrible feeling of everything shutting down with it. As I said, I won't know the imaging results before Tuesday at the earliest, and regardless of the results, there will be much more medical stuff after this, although we don't know the form and shape it will take yet. Hopefully, something fixable, and relatively easily so; the fear of what could be lurking is aggravating everything else. Meanwhile, all this stuff is piling up fast, so here are the links for sharing (or using, if anyone's so inclined):

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until January 1st for December);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).

As I also said, Coyote is in the spirit world now, with a hole in my heart is never going away, and I'd really like not to have it grow by Raven size right now. He's been doing remarkably well, and right now he's snoozing in his bed with his bone at his feet, but good vibes for Raven are still welcome. We know it's unlikely that he has long. We just want him to be comfortable and happy for what he has left. There's nothing to be done for broken hearts.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.