Grateful.

Photo copyright Aji, 2026; all rights reserved.

Nine years ago this evening, I couldn't even see the sunset. I'd been transferred from the ER to a room on the opposite side of the building, after having nearly died. That was only the first time. It happened again two weeks later, with many smaller episodes repeatedly over the ensuing years. But once you've been hospitalized three times in two cities and they can't find what's killing you, you learn to manage it yourself, and pray a lot.

Fortunately, I'm still alive, and was able to see the sunset in real time tonight. These are my Virginia Woolf years: "I am glad to be alive, and sorry for the dead." Those experiences changed my relationship with the idea of death drastically [because what else could it do when you don't know whether you'll be alive from one moment to the next?] . . . but it also changed my relationship with life itself just as drastically. However terrible things get, however awful the outside world, how intractable my own levels of physical pain, the one overriding thread that weaves through all my days now is one of gratitude. No, you wouldn't know it by how I bitch and moan on here, but that's just a space to vent, a safety valve.

But whatever else, I am grateful, we are grateful, for the life we have here together. 

Not, of course, that it lessens the immediate obstacles in the slightest. I still have to keep pushing, all the time. And it's all that much harder when this kind of pain and disease progression just make me slower, and keep putting me further and further behind every day. Clearly the rest of the year is going to be very hard. And I've still got to bring in a lot more sales through the end of the year. It's been hellishly expensive already, and we've also got some other big-ticket things to take care of between now and then, and that only happens if we make some sales now. And we can still use help with shares, testimonials, wishlist stuff, etc. To that end, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here [Too many obligations, too many folks in need; I can't justify spending money on them right now, but I'd really love to be able to get the rest of the towels and liquid soaps];
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And we do still need to make those regular weekly sales, so please share all of the links. We really do need to end this year on a better footing than the last two, a year that, so far, has been very grim.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2026; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Red Willow Spirit: The Light at the Edge of the Blue Autumn Sky

Photo copyright Wings, 2026; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's an edition of Red Willow Spirit for this very point in season and year, and for the beauty and medicine that are always present each day now. It's two images from this very week nine years ago, linked by a much newer and impossibly apt masterwork of wearable art, all manifest in the power of the light at the edge of the blue autumn sky.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. We still have to ensure that we break even on this awful year, and now, that means bringing in several sales a week, without fail.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2026; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

It's been a frickin' Monday, too.

Photo copyright Aji, 2026; all rights reserved.

So much for the hard freeze. Eighty here yesterday; seventy today. In recent days, we've had a new dandelion or two, in mid-November, for heaven's sake, and now one going to seed amid the fallen maple and aspen leaves. A bright yellow butterfly flew past us this afternoon, for crying out loud.

It's been a frickin' Monday, too. There are days when I just want to chuck it all in [okay, weeks], and this has been one of them. I spend more than enough hours on mutual-aid work without having to referee stupid childish shit, and I don't respond well when people try to get cute about the rules. There aren't enough hours in the day, and I'm in too much constant pain and working too damn many hours to put up with that crap. I expect adults to behave like adults.

The pain isn't improving. Nothing is. The pain is worse, the fatigue is worse, my balance is worse, everything's worse. Nothing helps. And it all just makes me slower, and keeps putting me further and further behind every day. Clearly the rest of the year is going to be very hard. And I've still got to bring in a lot more sales through the end of the year. It's been hellishly expensive already, and we've also got some other big-ticket things to take care of between now and then, and that only happens if we make some sales now. And we can still use help with shares, testimonials, wishlist stuff, etc. To that end, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here [Too many obligations, too many folks in need; I can't justify spending money on them right now, but I'd really love to be able to get the rest of the towels and liquid soaps];
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And we do still need to make those regular weekly sales, so please share all of the links. We really do need to get this year onto a better footing than the last two, a year that, so far, has been very grim.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2026; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Monday Photo Meditation: Autumn's Blue Skies and Sunlight Still Remain

Photo copyright Wings, 2026; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a Monday Photo Meditation for these early days of the downward slope of fall, clear and bright if nowhere near cold enough now. It's an image that dates back nine years almost to the day, captured before the season's early snows when autumn's blue skies and sunlight still remain, still a gift, still medicine.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. We still have to ensure that we break even on this awful year, and now, that means bringing in several sales a week, without fail.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2026; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Way too warm.

Photo copyright Aji, 2026; all rights reserved.

The mighty hunter stalks his prey . . . or, well, notsomuch. More like "lies in the grass in the sun and hopes vainly that a squirrel will show itself."

That's Cricket, the feral. The direction he's looking, toward the left of the frame, is where there's a pile of firewood. A couple of the rock squirrels hang out there, rooting around through the logs on the bottom of the pile, and the dogs are obsessed.

And also, occasionally, lazy. 

Of course, it was way too warm today, so I wouldn't have been doing much running, either. Officially, they listed the high at 65, then dropped it to 64, then to 61, and now they've apparently settled on 64 as "reasonable" fakery. Our thermometer, hung in the shade? Shot up to eighty this afternoon.

Honestly, I wish it would just get cold and stay that way. This nonsense has pain levels jacked into the stratosphere, and it's rapidly getting to the point where I can't take much more. I don't know what to do anymore. If this is the way it's going to be, no remission . . . ? 

And it all just makes me slower, and keeps putting me further and further behind every day. Clearly the rest of the year is going to be very hard. And I've still got to bring in a lot more sales through the end of the year. It's been hellishly expensive already, and we've also got some other big-ticket things to take care of between now and then, and that only happens if we make some sales now. And we can still use help with shares, testimonials, wishlist stuff, etc. To that end, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here [Too many obligations, too many folks in need; I can't justify spending money on them right now, but I'd really love to be able to get the rest of the towels and liquid soaps];
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And we do still need to make those regular weekly sales, so please share all of the links. We really do need to get this year onto a better footing than the last two, a year that, so far, has been very grim.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2026; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

The Light That Frames Fall's Blue Sky

Photo copyright Aji, 2026; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a masterwork for a world alive beneath a blue sky born of sun and stardust. It's a truly extraordinary cuff that manages to be classically traditional and eminently contemporary, too, one that captures the beauty and power and medicine of the light that frames fall's blue sky.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. We still have to ensure that we break even on the year, and that begins with a minimum of one sale a week, without fail.

 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2026; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

A little remnant gold.

Photo copyright Aji, 2026; all rights reserved.

Still a few aspen leaves left, and a little remnant gold. At this stage, the leaves are molten in the sunlight, but they're also beautiful against stormclouds like we had yesterday. Not, of course, that we got any weather out of them.

Today has been impossible. I went to be at 1 AM [because it took that long to get through all of my work that absolutely had to get done]. I woke up at 3 AM, but it took me until 3:30 or so to realize what it was that awakened me: my right knee, subluxed into dislocation, horribly swollen internally and visibly double in size externally. I was never able to get back to sleep, because that kind of pain? There's literally nothing that can be done about it. So I've been up since some ungodly hour this morning, but between the added fatigue issues from the literal lack of sleep and the excruciating pain, I've gotten almost nowhere on today's seemingly endless to-do list.

And it all just makes me slower, and keeps putting me further and further behind every day. Clearly the rest of the year is going to be very hard. And I've still got to bring in a lot more sales through the end of the year. It's been hellishly expensive already, and we've also got some other big-ticket things to take care of between now and then, and that only happens if we make some sales now. And we can still use help with shares, testimonials, wishlist stuff, etc. To that end, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here [Too many obligations, too many folks in need; I can't justify spending money on them right now, but I'd really love to be able to get the rest of the towels and liquid soaps];
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And we do still need to make those regular weekly sales, so please share all of the links. We really do need to get this year onto a better footing than the last two, a year that, so far, has been very grim.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2026; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.