Two more weeks to wait and worry.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

Kind of cool shot from two nights ago. Still haven't had time or energy to download anything more recent; on top of everything else, I woke up sicker than a dog last night and was up pretty much all night as a result.

Today was supposed to be my latest follow-up, at which I would, theoretically, have the results of my labs AND the referral for the biopsy. Unfortunately, the office called late yesterday; my doc is out sick (along with half of the rest of the county), and so a week after the imaging and still nothing. The earliest they could get us in (Wings and I both had appointments with her today) is two weeks from now, and the only way I have of dealing with this delay right now is to think about anything but it.

We were hoping for lidocaine injections for Wings today, too. Two or three weeks ago, he went into the local utility to get his propane tanks refilled. He went inside to pay, and coming out, they had left a log or railroad tie to mark parking in an area that was extremely icy (and unsafely placed). He slipped, and came down so hard on his right shoulder that the pain specialist thought he'd torn that rotator cuff now, too. Fortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case, but he has a lot of swelling and internal bruising yet, and a lot of difficulty just lifting the arm, much less doing anything with it. And it's his dominant hand, so that means no work in the studio, no new art, until it heals significantly more than it is now. And he has quite a lot in the works waiting for him to be able to complete it.

Meanwhile, it looks like I've got two more weeks to wait and worry before I have any hope of getting a solid diagnosis. Not that it stops the symptoms from ratcheting up daily, as has been the case for quite a while now. Doesn't stop the worry over money, either, given the massive outlays that we know are coming down the pike. There's a lot of year ahead of us. If it is cancer, the costs are going to skyrocket very fast, and we have no way of paying for it, and neither of us cares; we're doing this. Determination is the word; with Wings's help, I'm going to beat whatever it is. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. We need sales. Badly. All this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

All we want, to be able to have some confidence in making it through the whole year with whatever they're going to find going wrong in my body, is to make some sales. That's it: sales; nothing else. But I haven't been able to make even that happen, and the stress is telling. Good vibes for Raven are still welcome (he's still hanging with us, and I need him to be safe while we're out). But I could use some, too. We all could also use some help with sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em). Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.