Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Bleakly beautiful.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

This struck me as so bleakly beautiful yesterday that I had to capture it. A small testament of sorts, I suppose, to longevity, to the ability to absorb intrusions and invasions and trauma and harm, to take it in and not be able to excise it, but to be able to turn it into a new kind of beauty all the same. [Yeah, you can read whatever you like into that; if the first pathologist is to be believed, I already have an intruder, an invader, plenty of trauma and harm already camped out in my throat, with no movement on it, either. Unfortunately, if the first analysis proves to be right, there's not much about it that has any claim to beauty outside of excision.]

So. Wings was horribly sick Thursday night, and recovering all weekend. He finally seems to be shaking the bug a little, but since I was taking care of him, I now have it again. Sore throat in the more traditional sense today (compared to the sore throat I've had all these weeks from the other thing, I mean), as well as headache and probably low-grade fever. At least now I know why the fatigue from Sunday onward has been so stupefying, and why my brain is even foggier than usual.

No break from the medical and financial pressures, either. I put off one big bill last week because of the tax thing, but I have no choice but to deal with it this week. Like, today. Four figures' worth. And those other bills, the two hospital ones that still amount to $30K specifically, are killing me. I'm breaking under the weight of the financial pressures right now. I have to raise that $30K very fast, because that, too, is coming to a breaking point, and we can't do it without making some very big sales. [If I could even raise ten, to split between the two hospitals for now, that would take a little of the pressure off, although the other 20 would need to follow forthwith. They are killing me with the stress.] We also can't do it without help. Here are the links:
  • My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until May 1st for April);
  • Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
  • Wings's direct PayPal link;
  • A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
  • Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back off it, because Wings can't lift the boxes right now with his shoulder;
  • Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.
Sales, sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em, please) — that's what we need. Also good vibes for Raven for everything to be easy and pain-free and comfortable for him for whatever time he has, which is pretty clearly not long. Today is the 3-year anniversary of Griffin's departure, and I'm really dreading this now. Thanks.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

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