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| Photo copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. |
Everybody else in the mood to play. No play for me; aside from the constant need to chase sales, a bad hip sublux last night has had me in excruciating pain ever since, with spasms in the thigh and a knee dislocated to manage the change in the hip. This has happened to me my entire life, and this is what was dismissed first as nothing, then as fibro (which, to the medical "professionals" involved, was still essentially nothing). A whole lifetime of this nonsense, with no one believing me. At least now I have the labels for it, but there's still nothing that can be done to fix it.
Aside from the bitter cold that usually does show up about now, the first of the year always brings a bunch of new bills (business-related, vehicle insurance, other costs). On top of that, the keyboard on my laptop is giving out fast; one of the nav keys broke entirely yesterday (yes, broke, not just a now-missing key, but the most-used keys have been failing for months now, which is why my typo rate is so much worse). An external keyboard might be a temporary solution, but my pain levels and locations mean that I can't sit at a desk for long; I have to use my laptop literally as a laptop, and there's no way to use an external for that. I don't know what I'm going to do at this point.
This year was also supposed to bring follow-up biopsies for me, starting next month, but we're not doing that now. I'm deferring all follow-up medical testing for now. There is just way too much else that needs paying, with ~ $2K in bills (some one-offs or 6-mont-offs) just this month alone. The only work on the house we're scheduling right now is what we hope will be the last of the plumbing fixes (and we won't be doing that just yet, because there's no money for it). And still I feel guilty with every dollar I spend that's not on bills, which is why things that may seem silly to you remain on the wishlist; we children of grinding poverty can rationalize almost anything for almost anyone else, anyone except ourselves. Meanwhile, the bills come due and the money doesn't. We're waiting for payment on our one holiday commission this year (it's in process; just hasn't arrived yet). One of my Patreon subscribers very kindly informed me a few weeks ago of changed circumstances so that I would not be surprised by their unsubscribing. But it's a $100/month decrease I have yet to be able to replace (but thank you so much to the patron who upped their subscription by $10/month! It's so appreciated). And I have no illusions about the fact that we will still need help to make it through this year. Folks can help in several ways (sales are always preferred), and we really need it now:
Please share everything. Thanks.
All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.
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