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| Photo copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. |
Last night. Supposedly, the snow hits tonight, and stays through tomorrow night. I'm guessing it won't show until tomorrow, and it won't be much when it does get here.
Right now, things look bleak.
Part of it's a reaction to everything going on in the outside world. We bear this burden daily, and seeing how the dominant culture reacts to having, suddenly, to shoulder a fraction of the load is . . . dispiriting, to say the least. Part of it is a reaction to a couple of things cropping up again from childhood, memories triggered by, and past circumstances that enabled, the drastic physical pain I'm dealing with now. It's disheartening when you know it's never going to get better, only worse. It's enraging when you could have had at least a slightly different outcome, but those ostensibly charged with caring what happened to you . . . didn't. And yesterday I had an epiphany as to why that was, and while I understand the stresses involved, I'm having a hard time forgiving the fact that I was the thing that was always disposable.
And now, we have to cancel Wings's dental surgery yet again.
Meanwhile, I'm reduced still to trying to get work done with a torn ankle and subluxed hips and knees, and now two barely functional hands, and a laptop that continues to deteriorate by the day (a camera, too, and both are essential for our work — not just mine, but his). I'm also trying to plan for all the expenses of winter to come. The Pueblo closure is slated to last two full months this time, so it will be worse than usual. In that period of time, there will be taxes to pay, his scrip to keep refilling, his dental work to try somehow to get done, and forget about my own follow-up tests, to say nothing of plumbing/wall repairs or all the work still unfinished on the house; I'm scrapping everything, because we can't afford it. Yes, I'm due for follow-up scans and biopsies already, and they're not going to happen, because we don't have five figures' worth of scratch to waste on it. I've still got to make sales, try to drum up new Patreon subscribers, do whatever I can to bring in more money, all on top of everything else. Folks can help in several ways (sales are always preferred):
Please share everything. Thanks.
All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.
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