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| Photo copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. |
That was yesterday. No meaning in the fire on the mountain, other than, I suppose, the fact that a beautiful sunrise can still give way to a very bad day. And they're all bad at the moment.
I'm cutting and pasting everything, because it's early and I haven't even had a full cup of coffee yet and I have a HUGE amount to do today and the level of physical pain is already staggering. Don't expect to see me unless you see me, and don't expect much in the way of engagement, because everything's going toward pain management and breathing management too. I don't have much left over right now.
I'm at an end for the moment. The pain and the breathing problems these last two or three weeks have buried me. About ten days, two weeks ago, I had the first really terrifying episode I've had in while, since switching up my meds and getting the ibruprofen entirely out of my system. I've had a number of smaller ones since, and it's probably mostly down to the asthma, but nothing's working.
And the other night, I tried to order a continuous-flow O2 concentrator that I need desperately, because the portable is not CF and holds a charge for only about two hours, and I'm not sleeping. And Amazon makes delivery impossible, and is utterly unwilling to address any of it, and so I wasted a morning again and wound up canceling it. I'll buy it somewhere else, when I can find the right one, and pay a lot more doing it. For now, I still can't breathe, still can't sleep. And I'm done with Amazon; I've erased the wishlist below, and I'll have to pay a hell of a lot more money to buy a lot of the basics we can't get around here, and do a lot more work to find them, but I'm not willing to be jerked around continually by a man for whom the purchase of a $165 million home yesterday amounts to 1/8 of 1% of his net worth. We're being penalized directly for being Indigenous and disabled and living on a rez, and fuck that.
In the meantime, the usual chaos reigns. It's snowing again as of a few minutes ago (on top of about six new inches already in the early hours of the day), but the sinuses are still rioting. All you have to do is look out the window to know why: catkins already opened and fuzzy, tree pollen and grass pollen everywhere, in all defiance of the -5 lows at night. My laptop continues to die apace; the keyboard is causing me three times as much work, at least. It's also causing me a hell of a lot pf physical pain, too, since it turns out the repetitive motion of all the correcting is what's caused the new and seemingly permanent dislocation in my right thumb. And now, my e-mail seems to be completely hosed, too, so if you don't get a response, it's because my incoming as well as my outgoing is now smoked. The Pueblo has been closed for two weeks and will remain so for two full months, which puts tourism income in the negatives. And January was, quite frankly, a hell month. In the meantime, I have to navigate the weather and pain and expense and find a way to bring in income.
Also unfortunately, I'm still reduced to trying to get work done with a torn ankle and subluxed forearm, hips, and knees, and now two barely functional hands, and a laptop that continues to deteriorate by the day (a camera, too, and both are essential for our work — not just mine, but his). The pain is . . . very bad these days. It's not a function of weather or cold, mostly, but of deterioration. In desperation, I've added one last supplement, a costly one, in hopes of getting it to ease off even a little; I won't know if it's going to work for at least a month yet. I'm also trying to plan for all the expenses of winter to come. The Pueblo closure started two weeks ago, and as I said above, is slated to last two full months this time, so it will be worse than usual. In that period of time, there will be taxes to pay, his scrip to keep refilling, his dental work to try somehow to get done, and forget about my own follow-up tests, to say nothing of plumbing/wall repairs or all the work still unfinished on the house; I'm scrapping everything, because we can't afford it. Yes, I'm due for follow-up scans and biopsies already, and they're not going to happen, because we don't have five figures' worth of scratch to waste on it. I've still got to make sales, try to drum up new Patreon subscribers, do whatever I can to bring in more money, all on top of everything else. Folks can help in several ways (sales are always preferred). Oh, and I posted four new works a few days ago, here and here, and I something new, seasonal, and absolutely fabulous yesterday, so please share the links (also, BUY! they're all perfect for Valentine's Day):
Please share everything. Thanks.
All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.
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