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| Photo copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. |
Still storms, still snow, still cold and dark.
I was so looking forward to today, being shut of everything on the taxes except the signing and check-writing part. Instead, the da's already gone to hell, and I'm so fucking tired. Tired of always having my nose rubbed in the fact that I don't get to belong anywhere, reminded by the same people who will demand my help and take everything they can get and stalk and harm and otherwise inflict damage and abuse. And then three rejections on four days, the last of which? Was in favor of a white woman who wrote gleefully about her colonial invasion and theft of Indigenous lands where she had no business. Oh, she wold deny it, but her own words tell on her. No one wants true words; they want their colonial mythologies, genocide dressed up as saviorism.
The rest is cut and paste. After no sleep yesterday, I'm wiped, and Chinook got me up SIX times during the night. and I don't have the heart for much anyway. One caveat: Wings needs a particular kind of saw (and we need a few other things, and this Amazon bullshit is creating real problems). I've added it to the wishlist, and I'll be adding a few other items, too, mostly stuff designed to make us more self-sufficient for the rest of the year, because this pandemic is not going away soon. If anyone should feel moved to buy any of the items, please purchase them somewhere other than Amazon. They're on there now purely so the models/types needed are clear.
As I've said, it's entirely possible, given what's going on outside our own boundaries right now, that the world might not make it to summer, at least in any form that we recognize. It's also entirely possibly that we personally might not make it through the year, given the way the pandemic has ground our already-low sales to a near-total halt. We have shelled out SO much this year — on getting ready for what is eventually going to be a formal quarantine situation (yes, it is, and people need to get their heads around that now), on medical expenses, on helping out other folks — that I don't have any confidence in being able to get through the second half of this year. Or even into summer. Right now, I'd like to bring in enough to recoup the $5K+ we had to lay out on all those things and more (we helped a whole bunch of folks with cash to the tune of an absolutely unholy amount, but when it's a matter of shelter and food and basic survival, what are we supposed to do, say no? we can't). That said, on Wings's site this week I'm featuring some of his most valuable masterworks, and if we could sell them all? We'd be good into 2021, and be able to continue helping out folks here, too. And there's one family here, at least, that we already know needs whatever help we can give them next week.
But about the can't say no part? Here's why (and we saw this coming in January):
Everything here is canceled, and as of last Wednesday, there's a curfew in effect in town. No one (excluding "essential personnel," obviously) allowed outside between the hours of 10 PM and 6 AM. And it needed to happen, because at 33.4%, we have the highest per-capita ratio of the entire state, and people are still not taking it seriously. We have 14 confirmed cases in Taos County, but that's going to rise over the next two to three weeks. A LOT. Where last week they were projecting more than 500 deaths state-wide from this, that has now been revised drastically upward, to MORE THAN 3,000 DEATHS over a 12-month period. At any given moment, our state-wide population hovers just below or just above 2 million people total. For us, that's HUGE.
And all of this presents long-term problems for us, and for a lot of folks. The whole economy of this county is based around tourism, and the reality for Indigenous folks here is that there will NO economy for us, none at least for the duration of the summer, and at this rate? Probably not all year. No tourism, no art markets, no ability to sell. Most of our clientele has moved to online patronage now, so we are hit less hard than most. But the four sales we've had so far this year? That might be all we get. We'll be fine for a while, having stocked up on food and supplies and firewood and so forth. But the bills still have to get paid, and honestly? If we don't start making some sales consistently soon, I don't know how we survive the year. I sure as hell don't know how some of these other folks survive it, especially if we can't help them.
Also, and not coincidentally, about that helping part: My filter fabric is supposed to be in this week, and once the taxes are off my desk, I'll be rocking on making masks for local folks. The need is . . . astonishing in its scope. Literally everybody I talk to (via phone/e-mail, because yes, social distancing) needs them. And I'm going to be making them and giving them away, no charge whatsoever, for as long as necessary. And I will run out of fabric very soon. To that end, if folks want to donate to my fabric fund so I can keep making masks (because health-care folks here don't have them, nor do people working every day in essential agencies, never mind the lack of availability for our Indigenous elders), hit the PayPal link below and specify "masks" or "fabric." I guarantee you that every penny will go into fabric for masks (and/or related supplies, at the point that I begin to run out of thread, bias tape, filter fabric, whatever), and only for that. Fifty dollars donated yesterday is today going into fifty dollars' worth of fabric, ordered online so that maybe it'll arrive just about the time I run out of my current stash. It's no wonder nobody's wearing them here; they can't get them. And I can change that.
Also over the course of this week, I'm going to be featuring, on his site, some of his most valuable (and highest-priced) works. If we could sell them all, we could sock 90% of it into savings and be assured of making it through the rest of the year and into the next, barring disaster. I don't actually have any real hope of doing that, but if you're one of the folks who's been looking at these works and thinking that someday you might want to invest the money in one or more? Now would be the time; it would help ensure our survival through this pandemic and likely to the first of next year, and help us to be able to help other folks in our community here who are going to need it badly. So please, this week especially, share all of our links, because while we're all in isolation? Income is already at virtually nothing, and we can survive the isolation, but not the inability to feed the maw of all the bills. The links are here:
Note: For now, please don't buy anything off the Amazon wishlist; to do so would be crossing a picket line, and some of their workers have struck this morning to fight for safer working conditions because their lives are being put at even greater risk during this pandemic. If you find one of the items elsewhere, wonderful (I found a lovely convection bread machine with a GF setting via Crate and Barrel online, but I can't justify the cost, at least not now; we haven't had anything like the kind of sales that would permit that), but for the duration of the strike, please don't buy anything off the list from there. That said, if you can find Wings's KT tapes anywhere else? He uses those virtually every day, and we're almost out; that would save us having to go out and buy them locally, in person and at higher cost.
Other than that, please share everything. Thanks.
All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.
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