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| Photo copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. |
Feral dog loves the snow. All three of them do, actually; this is the pups' first winter, and they and Cricket spent the morning romping in it.
I couldn't romp in it if I tried right now, and it's not like I have time anyway. But we've had a bitter north wind all day today, and it's been blowing the snow from the predawn hours of this morning horizontally. Fitting, I guess, for a day that went sideways from jump. I am so far behind now I'll never catch up on this day, and I need to set aside the rest of the week to work uninterrupted, but I know it won't happen.
Two bits of good news as of yesterday and this morning: We made two sales, and most of my patrons apparently re-upped with new cards. [The others I suspect are ones who can't afford it because the pandemic has destroyed their economies, too. I get it. Don't think another thing about it.] Thank you, all of you, from the bottom of my heart.
Of course, I still need to bring in a bunch more sales this week and the next two to avoid us being thoroughly screwed going into 2021. There is no economy now. There's nothing. People are literally dying all around us from the government's failures, and I don't know how we keep them, or us, alive unless I bring in a significant number of sales over the next week and a half. Today, we sold my old car (for a tiny fraction of what we could've gotten for it) to a young Indigenous man who needed one badly; yesterday, we raided our freezer and Wings took a bunch of meat from that half-hog share we bought to a fellow Indigenous family who can use it. This is nothing special; it's our way. But we have to have the resources to share and/or make otherwise available in the first place.
And I'm still tired. Tired from this stupid shingles vax reaction. Tired from the stresses of this year. Tired in ways no one will ever understand. "Can't hold your own head up because the physical fatigue is too much" tired. I don't care about any of the rest of it. Yeah, our craven and cowardly governor is willing to let us all die. Nothing I do makes a damn bit of difference, but I still have to keep us alive, and other folks, too. So:
And this will sound selfish, but I've spent the whole year working to help other folks survive in the face of some very ugly [and wholly unnecessary] odds, and three days ago, I hit the fucking wall. I'm going to do my work, I'm going to chase sales to keep us alive, adn whatever else we can do to help those we can. That's it. Because the country, the state, their so-called leadership? They're willing to let us die.
All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.
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