An eventful couple of days.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

That was yesterday, and yes, it was pretty close. So were all the others too quick for me to catch. It looks like we may be in for more of the same in a few more minutes; the wind is already howling out there.

It's been an eventful couple of days even apart from the weather, and I'm just going to drop it all in here because I'm frankly too wiped out to do a second post, and I have too much other work to do besides. I got my suture out yesterday, and also got my labs and biopsy results back, so let me haul through this as fast as possible:

First, no TB, as we figured, so that means that tomorrow I start the hydroxychloroquine. That means that my immune system will be artificially suppressed, above and beyond all the autoimmune issues I deal with already, and I've already returned to double-masking and gloving up absolutely everywhere. 

The second big thing was the biopsy. Nope, no trace of cancer, which means they found no metastatic cells in the sample. My doctor took it from one of the most affected areas, so if it were going to show up, it would've been there. There is one long-term caveat, though: None of this means that those cells can't turn metastatic in the future, nor does it mean that the effects of the lupus can't trigger it, either.

What it did find was as apparently unreadable as everything else in all of my biopsies and labs and imaging, so my body also apparently intends to remain on point to the bitter end. The pathologist (NOT my doctor; the path who read the sample) declared that it looked like a follicular infection, but it's not. She also declared that there was a small chance that it could be a connective-tissue disease, but she didn't see any other evidence of that.

LUPUS IS A CONNECTIVE-TISSUE DISEASE.

Yeah, I'm frustrated. They will ignore the evidence right in front of them to contort their findings into what can be dismissed as essentially "nothing,," because that's what medicine in this country does. It's like teaching to the test, only in medicine: diagnosing to the insurance companies' demands. Never mind that there's no insurance company involved; after this many generations, it's become the way everything's taught, for fuck's sake.

Oh, and I forgot: The tissue changes in my breast, the ones that look exactly like early manifestations of IBC? Are still spreading. My doc said that they were MUCH more visible to her yesterday, and more extensive, than they were when she saw me nine days previously (and she was already shocked by their spread then). She still can't figure out what it is, why it's manifesting this way, or what it might mean. But yesterday she felt it necessary to get photos to add to my chart. Yes, it's encouraging that she's thorough, but not so encouraging as to the why of that.

So. Fortunately my doctor refuses to be constrained by small-minded corporate greed. The provisional DX is, as I suspected it would be, lupus mastitis, equally provisionally defined as "cutaneous lupus" (this is in addition to the SLE). Unfortunately, the threshold treatment is steroids, and while I do have a very small monthly prednisone prescription, there are two different reasons why I cannot take them consistently and long-term: 1) a pervasive family history of diabetes (even though I'm not diabetic, although I am hypoglycemic); and 2) I fall into that category of people with headaches as a side effect who also get intra-ocular pressure, and for people who get that latter problem, sustained use can trigger glaucoma. So she went with a topical steroid in hopes that there's enough effect on and in surface tissues to make a difference. In 4-6 weeks, we'll see where it stands and re-evaluate. By then, I'll also have 4-6 weeks' worth of the Plaquenil in my system, and maybe I'll be lucky enough to have a little bit of respite from the pain.

Speaking of which, I need folks to understand that this is not the ONLY autoimmune problem I deal with on the daily. As I was coming out of the doctor's office yesterday, my right shoulder began to hurt, right in the rotator cuff area. No, I hadn't done anything to it, no strain of it, nothing. The joint just slipped slightly out of place, and now the pain between my shoulder and the middle of the right humerus is beyond excruciating, and I have my right arm in a sling. I'm still using the therapy boot, and I'm getting myself adjusted to using my cane every time we go anywhere. I'm not sleeping, so she cut my other autoimmune med back from 4 tablets daily to one-half tablet daily. I got a little bit of sleep last night, although the right shoulder and arm pain made it mostly impossible. And, of course, there's new research out that suggests that people with chronic EBVS, like me, are at special risk of long COVID because the EBV virus gets reignited by the coronavirus infection, so beginning tomorrow, I will going out into public only on the rarest of occasions, and then always gloved and double-masked no matter what. We both agree on that, but Wings was the one who said it first. And this will put an even bigger load on him.

Meanwhile, another $160 out the door. And of course everyone else wants their cut. I was finally able to pay the insurance bill Wednesday, and we bought a small load of firewood, because it's getting cold at night again now. Another $75 out the door Tuesday for the labs, with probably a subsequent bill to come. Given that I'm essentially not sleeping at all, which makes the pain and the brain fog so much worse (so bad I can't work), things are getting really grim. Aside from that, I still have to pay our quarterly taxes online tonight, and there are likely to be more bills on the last round of labs, too; more meds, more more more more . . . . That means sales, but I don't have the physical wherewithal to chase it, because of my pain and fatigue levels, along with some other problematic symptoms that are probably the lupus, being entirely off the charts. Still, I have to suck it up on this front, too, because we need sales, and I have to shove the rest down long enough to make some. That's it; nothing else matters right now, and I can't do it alone. Wings has A LOT of new work, so I'd be grateful to everyone who shares it, and of course, if you're in the market, keep us in mind for purchases.

Anyway, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are all the mosquito-prevention items, especially the portables and the patio-surface ones, because Wings can take them around the land with his as he works);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make up this staggering outlay somehow. There's lots of fabulous new work, so please watch for all of it and share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.                                

As the Fire Meets the Water, So the Storm Is Born

Photo copyright Aji, 2021;
all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a work for all the power and force of the rainy season. It's a work named for storm and fire, but it in fact embodies the truth of oppositional forces: that as the fire meets the water, so the storm is born.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. We are still behind on all of July's expenses and we're going to need to make consistent sales to make it through them and all the coming new medical costs, plus the rest of this terrible second pandemic-ridden year (one that has already been bitter indeed for our communities), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.    

A lot ahead.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

Yesterday was the anniversary of that evening, many, many years ago, when I first met Wings's [then] dogs and was informed by them that they owned me now. It's also known as the anniversary of our first date; the anniversary of the day we met was a week prior, on the 22nd. But Wings didn't bring me my beloved lilies for that; he brought them to me because I had spent yet another sleepless night from pain and the meds, and he wanted me to have something to make me feel better.

It worked.

But I have a lot ahead of me today. I have labs back, but I'm headed out shortly for suture removal, so I'll hold that info until I talk to my doctor, because I imagine I'll ned to write more than a sentence or two. Suffice to say that it's not bad news, just . . . mostly unreadable, as always seems to be the case for me. Not inexplicable, though, I don't think; I think we have the answer in the lupus itself. Anyway. today is going to be expensive, with more medical costs to pay in cash now and more for the path stuff still to come.

And of course everyone wants their cut. I was finally able to pay the insurance bill Wednesday, and we bought a small load of firewood, because it's getting cold at night again now. Another $75 out the door Tuesday for the labs, with probably a subsequent bill to come. Given that I'm essentially not sleeping at all, which makes the pain and the brain fog so much worse (so bad I can't work), things are getting really grim. Aside from that, I still have to pay our quarterly taxes, and there are likely to be more bills on the last round of labs, too; more meds, more more more more . . . . That means sales, but I don't have the physical wherewithal to chase it, because of my pain and fatigue levels, along with some other problematic symptoms that are probably the lupus, being entirely off the charts. Still, I have to suck it up on this front, too, because we need sales, and I have to shove the rest down long enough to make some. That's it; nothing else matters right now, and I can't do it alone.

Anyway, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are all the mosquito-prevention items, especially the portables and the patio-surface ones, because Wings can take them around the land with his as he works);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make up this staggering outlay somehow. There's lots of fabulous new work, so please watch for all of it and share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.                               

Friday Feature: When Earth Provides and Air Delivers

Photo copyright Aji, 2021;
all rights reserved.

It's our Friday Feature at The NDN Silver Blog, with a traditional work by a master that is as functional as it is beautiful. It's a bow and arrow set with hand-made quiver, a collection of traditional tools that reminds us that when earth provides and air delivers, and when we steward those gifts properly, we all survive: us, our communities, our world.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. We are still going to need to make consistent sales to cover upcoming new medical costs and make it through the rest of this terrible second pandemic-ridden summer (one that has already been bitter indeed for our communities), as well as the rest of the year, so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.  

#ThrowbackThursday: The Healing Fires of Love

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

It's #TBT at The NDN Silver Blog, with a work from my own personal collection, deeply held and close to my heart, alive with the power of water and heat of the flames combined. It's a spiraling storm of the greatest power we are granted: the healing fires of love.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. This work obviously will never be duplicated, but if the style speaks to your spirit, simply inquire via the site's Contact form; Wings can create a version uniquely your own. We are still going to need to make consistent sales to make it through all of our expenses to come in the rest of this still-terrible, still-pandemic-ridden year (one that, like last year, has already been bitter indeed for our communities), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.         

How it's done.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

This is how it's done. That's the latest that's in the works, and it's going to be unique, and also uniquely fabulous. But see how that strip of silver is bending up at the far end? When he began, it was perfectly flat.  That's heavy 9-gauge stuff, very solid, but when you're stamping as deeply as he does, it warps the silver in the process. He'd already flattened it out again several times. [And he anneals the silver before beginning, which adds to its flexibility, so that the warping/straightening process doesn't crack or break it.]

I posted four new cuffs yesterday, at varying price points, and they are all absolutely phenomenal. You can see the collective post here, but definitely click through to the site and look at ALL the photos, because what they show is nothing short of amazing. There'll be likely two more new cuffs, and then he's shifting to the pins already in the works, plus the ideas he already has in various stages for pins and pendants and earrings and accessories and other items. There's a lot in the pipeline now.

And yes, I'm doing these posts out of order today. Today's #TBT post on his site requires new photos, and I have a bunch of other things to do early on, so I likely will not get to that until either later this afternoon or even tonight, but I will get to it. In the meantime, I've got a lot to take care of here, and not enough hours in the day, so I'm heading back to my offline work shortly.

Meanwhile, everyone wants their cut. I was finally able to pay the insurance bill yesterday, and we bought a small load of firewood, because it's getting cold at night again now. Another $75 out the door Tuesday for the labs, with probably a subsequent bill to come. Still no path results on either the new labs or the biopsy, and since I still have to get my sutures out, I hope there are some results by then, because I can't move forward with treatment until I have them, and given that I'm essentially not sleeping at all, things are getting really grim. Aside from that, I still have to pay our quarterly taxes, and there are likely to be more bills on the last round of labs, too; more meds, more more more more . . . . That means sales, but I don't have the physical wherewithal to chase it, because of my pain and fatigue levels, along with some other problematic symptoms that are probably the lupus, being entirely off the charts. Still, I have to suck it up on this front, too, because we need sales, and I have to shove the rest down long enough to make some. That's it; nothing else matters right now, and I can't do it alone.

Anyway, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are all the mosquito-prevention items, especially the portables and the patio-surface ones, because Wings can take them around the land with his as he works);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make up this staggering outlay somehow. There's lots of fabulous new work, so please watch for all of it and share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.                              

A Day of New Work: Four New Masterworks By Wings

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

I've been promising these, and it's been a day of new work: four new masterworks by Wings, to be exact. As of today, we have four powerful new cuff bracelets in inventory, and you really need to go to the posts and scroll through all the photos, because each angle shows you a different aspect of each cuff's identity and spirit, and they're all phenomenal.

The first one, shown above, is actually the last one posted, only moments ago, and it is truly a masterpiece.  It's called Sagebrush Spirits, and yes, that is Dragonfly as you've never seen him before, overlaid atop a hand-milled and stamped band, articulated back wings fluttering high above the surface. You can read the full description here, and yes, you DO want to see all the photos (and there's a secret in the inner band!).

The second one appeared here this morning already, but it's also new, and deserves to be repeated here with the others:

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

This one is the second in Wings's new micro-stampwork series (after Cosmologies). This one is called The Waves and the Water Serpent, and believe me, you want to scroll through all these photos, too. Like the one above, this one also has a secret on the inner band, but of a very different sort. You can read the full description here.

The third new cuff is one wrought in very old traditional style, but with a forward-looking spirit in more ways than one:

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

This one is called The River Spirits, and it evokes the look and feel and medicine of our very own Great River, and the Gorge through which it wends. This one is heavy nine-gauge sterling silver, and the stampwork is all crests and currents and the textured cliffsides.  you can read the full description here.

Fourth and last, but not at all least, is another old-style cuff wrought in traditional fashion and imagery:

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

This one is called Fly True, a reference to the three stamped arrows that face (and match) the three linked Eyes of Spirit at the center. The stampwork is all freehand, all simple, spare, and classic, but what really makes this one if the cutwork: freehand saw-work limning the three center "eyes," cut out of heavy nine-gauge sterling silver. You can read its full description here.

You can find Wings's main page here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. We badly need sales to cover the rest of this month's outsized expenses and new medical costs besides, plus the rest of this terrible second pandemic-ridden year (one that has already been bitter indeed for our communities), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.    

Trouble.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

That right there? That's trouble. Oh, I know they look cute and sweet and innocent, but that's what they want you to think. They're plotting something. Always.

I, on the other hand, have no time for getting into mischief; trouble finds me all on its own. I'm still waiting on the biopsy results, which I thought would be here by now, and which is not making me feel especially confident about what they'll be. Waiting on the TB test, too, because I can't start treatment until that comes back clear. And I'm constantly fighting this anger, knowing that if I had had even minimally adequate medical care and treatment more than twenty years ago, I might not be in this kind of agonizing pain today. As it is, I have a whole lifetime of joint and tissue damage, much of it needless, and I'm so afraid that this will be the best I can hope for ever again.

Meanwhile, everyone wants their cut. I was finally able to pay the insurance bill today, and we bought a small load of firewood, because it's getting cold at night again now. Another $75 out the door yesterday for the labs, with probably a subsequent bill to come. Still waiting on both the path analysis of the biopsy, which will be costly, and the bill, and at this rate they're likely to bill me before I even have the results. I still have to pay our quarterly taxes, and there are likely to be more bills on the last round of labs, too; more meds, more more more more . . . . That means sales, but I don't have the physical wherewithal to chase it, because of my pain and fatigue levels, along with some other problematic symptoms that are probably the lupus, being entirely off the charts. Still, I have to suck it up on this front, too, because we need sales, and I have to shove the rest down long enough to make some. That's it; nothing else matters right now. I have to come up with ~$1,200 by Friday to cover everything. I have one of today's new cuffs up already; there will be two more cuffs, and possibly a fourth tomorrow, as well as a possible three new pins. Please watch for them, please share the links, and please buy if you're in the market, because we have got to cover everything somehow, and I can't do it alone.

Anyway, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are all the mosquito-prevention items, especially the portables and the patio-surface ones, because Wings can take them around the land with his as he works);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make up this staggering outlay somehow. There's lots of fabulous new work, with three new cuffs going up today and possibly one more bracelet plus three new pins going up by tomorrow, so please watch for them and share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.                             

What Gifts the Waters Hold

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's Wings's newest masterwork, completed only a couple of days ago — an old traditional-style cuff that is a masterpiece of freehand metalsmithing techniques. It's a work to honor the waves and the Water Serpent, the latter's presence a secret between cuff and wearer, both a reminder of what gifts the waters hold: here, nothing less than the love of the spirits, of life itself.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. We are still going to need to make consistent sales to make it through the next two weeks with our second-highest rate of expenses of the year and new medical costs besides, plus the rest of this terrible second pandemic-ridden year (one that has already been bitter indeed for our communities), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.   

At least one of us is endlessly creative.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

More work in progress. At least one of us is endlessly creative. I'm not worth much in that regard, or much else, these days.

I did get my therapy boot, and it seems to be helping. I did also get my bloodwork done today, if only by the skin of my teeth; disruptions this morning set me back over an hour, and we made it all the way to the other side of town with about six minutes to spare (and a smooth seventy-five bucks in advance to do it). 

Now I wait. Again. I mean, there's no reason to think I have latent TB, but it has to be ruled out before I can start the Plaquenil, even though I already have the scrip. So more delays. I also don't have the results of my biopsy back yet, but I hope I've got both by the time I got to get my sutures out at the end of the week. Suture, more accurately; one big stitch.

And there's still all the rest. Path analysis of the biopsy, which will be costly; more bills on the last round of labs and probably this one, too; more meds, more more more more . . . . That means sales, but I don't have the physical wherewithal to chase it, because of my pain and fatigue levels, along with some other problematic symptoms that are probably the lupus, being entirely off the charts. Still, I have to suck it up on this front, too, because we need sales, and I have to shove the rest down long enough to make some. That's it; nothing else matters right now.

Anyway, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are all the mosquito-prevention items, especially the portables and the patio-surface ones, because Wings can take them around the land with his as he works);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make up this staggering outlay somehow. There's lots of fabulous new work, with three new cuffs and possibly three new pins going up by tomorrow, so please watch for them and share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.                             

Red Willow Spirit: Earth In the Air, Fire In the Water

Photo copyright Wings, 2021; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's an edition of Red Willow Spirit for the extremes of summer storms, when it seems that all four seasons are rolled into one. It's a set of four images and three works of wearable art that embody the elemental forces, collaborating and conspiring: earth in the air, fire in the water, and no contradiction in any of it.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, his photos are available in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. With the economy dead courtesy of a year's worth of uncontrolled pandemic, we are still going to need to make consistent sales to cover all these medical expenses, and to make it through the rest of the season (one that has already been bitter indeed for our communities) and the rest of the year, so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.   

Trapped.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

Bars and shadows and bare earth beneath a hot oppressive sun, and two days' worth of forecast rains that failed to deliver. We may get a bit in the next few minutes, or that may bypass us, too. But the lines remind me how trapped I am now, and that has nothing to do with the weather.

Another night of no sleep. Pure, raw exhaustion, and I still couldn't drop off, even for a few minutes, until after 5 AM. Fitful dozing/waking until I gave up at 7:30. Don't suggest I take something; my body responds even worse to sleep meds than it does to no sleep at all. And that's if they even work, which most of them don't. The pain is completely out of control now, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

I was supposed to get blood drawn this morning, but given how the tech ghosted a few weeks ago without telling anyone, I figured I better call. Yeah, he was there . . . but with no intranet. Meaning that he couldn't do blood draws. No, it's not that it he couldn't physically do them; it's that the lab company refuses to let him, because he couldn't bill our debit card instantly instead of sending me a written bill instead.

None of this is health care. It's just profiteering off death.

But I had to pick up my scrips anyway (one of which I had to wait for because they hadn't bothered to put it up yet), and so we stopped at the post office so I could ship the items purchased by folks who wanted me to send them that way. Sorry, y'all. No power, so the post office can't send anything. why? Because they can't print a label, never mind that everything's got the address labels on it; it doesn't have their little inked code. So that will also have to wait for tomorrow. Hopefully. 

But I stood in line, leaning heavily on my cane, with an unmasked colonizer Karen constantly invading my space. No one here is wearing masks. And as soon as I start the new med, I will have no immune system left. Yes, I do feel trapped.

And there's still all the rest. Path analysis of the biopsy, which will be costly; the more expensive testing for the TB (now bumped to tomorrow) just so I can get the damn thing done; more bills on the last round of labs; more meds, more more more more . . . . That means sales, but I don't have the physical wherewithal to chase it, because of my pain and fatigue levels, along with some other problematic symptoms that are probably the lupus, being entirely off the charts. Still, I have to suck it up on this front, too, because we need sales, and I have to shove the rest down long enough to make some. That's it; nothing else matters right now.

Anyway, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are all the mosquito-prevention items, especially the portables and the patio-surface ones, because Wings can take them around the land with his as he works);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make up this staggering outlay somehow. There's lots of fabulous new work, so please share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.                            

Monday Photo Meditation: Elemental Risks

Photo copyright Wings, 2021; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a photo meditation for a Monday in the midst of catastrophic climate change and the half-life of colonialism, another day when medicine is promised but as yet undelivered. It's a reflection on a more immediate disaster on a summer's day eighteen years ago, on the promise of new and vulnerable green, and of the truth that elemental gifts require respect for elemental risks.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, his photos are available in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. With the economy dead courtesy of more than a year's worth of uncontrolled pandemic, we are still going to need to make consistent sales to make it through this month, with its high biannual bills and new medical expenses, into the next, to say nothing of the season (one that has already been bitter indeed for our communities), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.        

Dangerously early.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

A few wild sunflowers out now. This early means that they probably won't last into September. Then again, the aspen line is already yellowing on one of the peaks, so everything's dangerously early this year. We have to worry about a hard winter, which here means one with either deadly cold or unseasonal warmth but almost no snow.

I'm not ready for winter. I'm not even ready for fall. It's cold today, far below norms, and this year has gotten away from us with what feels like nothing accomplished except a mountain of new medical debt (and all the physical pain and risks that generated it). I'm discouraged.

And there's still all the rest. Path analysis of the biopsy, which will be costly; the more expensive testing for the TB tomorrow just so I can get the damn thing done; more bills on the last round of labs; more meds, more more more more . . . . That means sales, but I don't have the physical wherewithal to chase it, because of my pain and fatigue levels, along with some other problematic symptoms that are probably the lupus, being entirely off the charts. Still, I have to suck it up on this front, too, because we need sales, and I have to shove the rest down long enough to make some. That's it; nothing else matters right now.

Anyway, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are all the mosquito-prevention items, especially the portables and the patio-surface ones, because Wings can take them around the land with his as he works);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make up this staggering outlay somehow. There's lots of fabulous new work, so please share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.                           

How the World Is Reborn

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a work to protect and inspire, an elemental piece that contains a powerful secret closely held between cuff and wearer. It's a tribute to how sun and moon dream the world into being, reminding us of how the world is reborn, and of our own obligations to aid in that process.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. We are still going to need to make consistent sales to make it through the next two weeks with our second-highest rate of expenses of the year and new medical costs besides, plus the rest of this terrible second pandemic-ridden year (one that has already been bitter indeed for our communities), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.  

Moving fast.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

This is the same one he was just beginning yesterday, and the design is moving fast now. Unfortunately, so is time, and everything else with it. Circumstances keep reminding us that, as the saying goes, winter is coming.

The weather here is determined to play trickster to the bitter end, apparently. So are the horses; I'm watching him use the ATV to try to herd them back into the stable right now, presumably because somebody left the gate unlocked. [Welp. they just took off across the south fields, Miika running full-out to keep pace with Miskwaki, so that didn't work.]

Speaking of playing trickster, so is my health. I have been so miserable from lack of sleep that I finally changed the order and timing of last night's meds, hoping it would make a difference. I'm not sure whether it was that or simple exhaustion after two days without sleep, but I did get some sleep last night; nowhere near what I need, but more than I've had most nights lately. So I'll try it again tonight and see if it actually works. I have a therapy bot on order for the sublux/strain/sprain/tear/whatever it is in my left Achilles tendon (all this time I thought it was just due to dislocation, but apparently Achilles tears are common with lupus, due to its impact on thinning/weakening the connective tissues surrounding it). And Monday, assuming the lab guy is there, I'm going in for another blood draw so that once the rule out latent TB, I can start the Plaquenil. Maybe then I'll eventually see some changes for the better, because these last weeks have been increasingly untenable.

But there's still all the rest. Path analysis of the biopsy, which will be costly; the more expensive testing for the TB just so I can get the damn thing done; more bills on the last round of labs; more meds, more more more more . . . . That means sales, but I don't have the physical wherewithal to chase it, because of my pain and fatigue levels, along with some other problematic symptoms that are probably the lupus, being entirely off the charts. Still, I have to suck it up on this front, too, because we need sales, and I have to shove the rest down long enough to make some. That's it; nothing else matters right now.

Anyway, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are all the mosquito-prevention items, especially the portables and the patio-surface ones, because Wings can take them around the land with his as he works);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make up this staggering outlay somehow. There's lots of fabulous new work, so please share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.                          

When the Sun Reclaims Its Fire

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a work that sits at the square of the sun, radiating the heat and the light of all its flame-like power. It's a piece to inspire us for the hard work of the days to come, for the space between the summer rains and the season when the snow flies, when the sun reclaims its fire.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. We are still going to need to make consistent sales to make it through the next two weeks with our second-highest rate of expenses of the year and new medical costs besides, plus the rest of this terrible second pandemic-ridden year (one that has already been bitter indeed for our communities), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.  

The work never, ever ends.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

I told you there'd be more to come like that fabulous "Cosmologies" cuff. This will be the second; he's just started it, in rotation with a dozen or so other items right now. Trying to get a little ahead of the game, because summer is already fading fast here. As of yesterday, the trees on the northern peaks are already turning gold, the siskins are here two months early, the storm appears daily but without much rain, and the work never, ever ends.

Neither does the pain.

I'm on two nights of essentially no sleep now, and it's purely pain that's causing my insomnia. I'm still trying to get my head around the speed with which my health has suddenly deteriorated, and not having much success at it. I'm used to disabling pain, but I'm not used to this level of disability, and I'm having a hard time accepting it. It looks like I'm going to be out more money next week for the labs so I can start on the new meds, but right now, just basic navigation is getting very difficult. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared.

And there's still all the rest. Path analysis of the biopsy, which will be costly; probably the more expensive testing for the TB just so I can get the damn thing done; more bills on the last round of labs; more meds, more more more more . . . . That means sales, but I don't have the physical wherewithal to chase it, because of my pain and fatigue levels, along with some other problematic symptoms that are probably the lupus, being entirely off the charts. Still, I have to suck it up on this front, too, because we need sales, and I have to shove the rest down long enough to make some. That's it; nothing else matters right now.

Anyway, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are all the mosquito-prevention items, especially the portables and the patio-surface ones, because Wings can take them around the land with his as he works);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make up this staggering outlay somehow. There's lots of fabulous new work, so please share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.                          

Friday Feature: If Prophecy Comes to Pass

photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

It's our Friday Feature at The NDN Silver Blog, with a work by a local couple that recognizes all the power of the sacred, even as envisioned by other Indigenous traditions. It's a hand drum made the traditional way, its adornment a reminder of ancient wisdom handed down through the generations, so that if prophecy comes to pass, we shall be ready to do what is required of us.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. We are still going to need to make consistent sales to cover upcoming new medical costs and make it through the rest of this terrible second pandemic-ridden summer (one that has already been bitter indeed for our communities), as well as the rest of the year, so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.  

In a haze.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

Everything's in a haze now: last night's moon, shrouded in clouds and smoke; my brain, shrouded in some of the worst pain I've ever had, and a bunch of new stressors to go with it.

For folks who don't already know: The new diagnosis is lupus (SLE). It didn't come as any kind of surprise to me, given my labs from a couple of weeks ago. But it's still a big hit, made bigger by my sudden recent and drastic deterioration in terms of global pain and fatigue. I'm supposed to be starting on Plaquenil (hydroxychloroquine; you know, the stuff that does absolutely nothing for COVID but that Trump's fuckery denied to the lupus patients who depend on it to survive). Problem is, I can't start taking it until I can get a TB test to rule out tuberculosis (it's a standard screening for this medication), and I can't seem to get that because the state-funded place that administers it locally won't take a referral from anyone but their own goddamn network docs. Their Web site says they treat ANYONE, but they told me over the phone that "we don't treat just anybody." Yeah, fuck you; you get funded out of my tax dollars. Yes, Native people pay taxes. Unlike billionaire cosplay "astronauts."

So now, I have to wait some more. The problem is that I can barely walk. I'm back to using my cane, because when both sets of hips, knees, ankles hurt equally badly, limping is . . . not so much a thing. And I have no idea when I can get this done. I will likely have to pay more to have the more expensive blood test run, and frankly, I'm fine with that at this point, because things can't go on this way. I just need to raise it, of course.

I also had the biopsy done yesterday, and my doc is an absolute artist with needles, so it didn't hurt much . . . until the anesthetic started to wear off yesterday evening. For now, the dressing is still on (I mean, the cut a pebble-sized chunk of tissue out, so it's not insignificant), and I'll need to change that later; I'm also taped within an inch of my life to try to shift the skin and get some lymph drainage to see if that helps the IBC-like symptoms that are apparently not IBC but look just like it. To that end, I've added a new item to the wishlist, because she wants us to quit using KT tape and go with a different brand that she says is safer for our skin and more effective into the bargain.  [Yeah, it's expensive, but it's all expensive.]

And there's still all the rest. Path analysis of the biopsy, which will be costly; probably the more expensive testing for the TB just so I can get the damn thing done; more bills on the last round of labs; more meds, more more more more . . . . That means sales, but I don't have the physical wherewithal to chase it, because of my pain and fatigue levels, along with some other problematic symptoms that are probably the lupus, being entirely off the charts. Still, I have to suck it up on this front, too, because we need sales, and I have to shove the rest down long enough to make some. That's it; nothing else matters right now.

Anyway, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are all the mosquito-prevention items, especially the portables and the patio-surface ones, because Wings can take them around the land with his as he works);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make up this staggering outlay somehow. There's lots of fabulous new work, so please share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.