At least our friends have been back.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

No internet service until about 3PM today, but plenty of smoke these last four days.  Each day, it looks like clouds building up in the west, but it’s mostly only the massive plume darkening the sky now. At least our friends have been back; that was them yesterday, circling overhead repeatedly, just enjoying playing on the currents (and trust me; you do want to click on the image). They returned late int the day, and again today, as well.

We did get a sudden and unexpected storm late last night, beginning around 11:40 PM and continuing on for an hour and more: rolling thunder and massive displays of lightning on all sides, and between the first heavy drops that hit the deck and the time, some five or six seconds later, that I reached the bathroom to close the window, it was already pouring in all over the sill. The west room was even worse, the sill already soaked and what felt like the spray of the ocean hitting me full in the face as I struggled to close the window and mop up.

No, not much sleep last night, but that was nothing to do with the weather, only with pain. It’s been worsening by the day, and the pain meds aren’t even really taking the edge off now. Any sleep is next to impossible. And on top of it all, last night, the lymph nodes under my left arm began to swell, in an apparent mirror image of what happened on the right side beginning on May 2nd. It looks as though whatever else is happening, lupus or something else, I’ll likely be getting the same pain and the same disfiguring effects on the left side now as I’ve been dealing with on my right these last 2.5 months. 

Which is not a pleasant prospect.

What’s also not pleasant is the knowledge that even if this is entirely autoimmune now, it could over time turn into the other thing. I’m hanging onto the fact that my baseline labs are so perfectly normal to keep from getting too freaked out over those kinds of prospects. But I still have a biopsy to pay for next week, insurance and registration and quarterly taxes to pay yet this week, and without the means to make sales or even get online for anything? I can’t do any of that. Even if the pain would let me sleep, which it won’t, the stress probably would take over and prevent it anyway.

The other source of stress right now is related to the pain and fatigue spikes. In the past, I’ve largely been able to reassure myself that the worst of it is only temporary, just a flare, and that I’ll be back to what passes for normal for me in a matter of days, weeks, or at least months. The way this has worsened, with no relief, means that I now have to worry that this is not a flare, but a new progression in my disease. Is this the best I can hope for now? It’s not going to get any better, only worse? I have to be prepared to get my head around that, and so far, it’s not working.

Not being able to bring in any income is making it all worse.

This is our second-most-costly month of the year, thanks to certain biannual expenses, and every year, I think this will be the year that I get ahead of it, and every year, I get crushed instead. This time, it was all these medical expenses that did it. But the upshot is that I have to find ~$3,500 before the month is out, ~$1,500 of it by the first of the week, and I'm nowhere on it. My Patreon is down by 3 figures these days, and I don't have the health to do it daily anymore. And now we might finally know why; labs indicate lupus as a likely culprit. You can read the details of that here. I need help, though. The fatigue alone is kicking my ass, and I don't have time for it, because the bills won't wait.

So I have got to bring in sales to cover anything, and push has come to shove now. I have to be able to pay this $1,500-ish on Monday. There's another ~$2K lurking that has to be paid the following week. I also can't do it alone, so please share our links. There's a lot of work in progress right now, and new work, too. [Yes, the new cuff is spoken for, but that won't pay out yet for a few days because of logistical issues, and I need to bring the $1,500 in well before then.] Anyway, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are all the mosquito-prevention items, especially the portables and the patio-surface ones, because Wings can take them around the land with his as he works);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make up this staggering outlay somehow. There's lots of fabulous new work, so please share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.