Everything's hideous right now.

Photo copyright Aji, 2022; all rights reserved.

It's a bitch of a day, and I've gotten exactly nothing accomplished. 

This morning, sitting here trying to work, I saw Stormy and Sunny come flying within my line of sight outside the window. They had something pinned, which I at first thought was . . . what, a prairie dog? too early and too big anyway, and then they flipped it, and I saw the feet. So I took off out into the snow, no boots, no coat, screaming at them to get away. They had packed up on Little Bent Beak, as though she hasn't been through enough in her life already.

Wings got them away and set her uprightf while he locked the monsters up in the dog run, where they remain to this moment. I went to retrieve the chicken, and I could hear her crying and all I could think was the absolute worst. It's true that they pulled out clumps of feathers, and they drew some blood from her comb on wattles, but she's fine. She spent the ret of the morning in with us, in a box a few feet from the fire, and was absolutely fascinated by the woodbox under the stairs. She's back outside now with her sisters, happily scarfing down dog kibble, which is her very favorite thing in the world.

And now Wings has to take time out this week to extend the back of the coop even further and fence it, because now we can't trust the dogs anymore. Goddammit.

Everything's hideous right now.

I don't even think it started off as predation; Stormy's been burying her bones against the inner wall of the small stall, which is next to the coop and also where the chickens like to congregate when the weather's bad. I think she thought Bent Beak was going to find her bone. But SHE KNOWS BETTER. They both do. It's telling that Cricket absented himself from this entirely, because they all know the chickens are completely off-limits.

Meanwhile, I'm struggling more by the day. Lupus does a variety of nasty thing to the human body besides just chronic pain and fatigue, and mine, of course, went perpetually undiagnosed and therefore untreated for a full quarter-century. There's a lot of residual damage already, I have no doubt. But lupus can affect both the smaller connective tissues like those in the hands (and my thumb joints are constantly slipping now, which means I'm dropping things just as constantly and losing fine-motor-skill function), and also the longer muscles, tendons, and ligaments. I've been battling plantar's fasciitis for years, but nobody could be bothered to investigate WHY. Turns out, it's a common effect of SLE, and so, unfortunately, is damage to the longer tissue like the hamstring. I'm now dealing with both: contractures in my left hamstring trying to form, and pain so bad in the ankle, heel, and side of the sole of that foot that walking is becoming a serious problem. To that end, Wings suggested I put a good-quality under-desk exercise machine on the wishlist, because right now? I can barely walk to the studio. Sometimes I can't even do that.

On top of that, I'm dealing with severe chest pain, which is not my heart, but pleurisy and constochondritic pain, both of which are rampant in SLE. I do, though, have a lot of other chest pain and breathing problems from it, and those seem to be worsening. I also have to worry about organ damage, and the big concern at the moment is kidneys, because the meds can also affect them. But kidneys, eyes, lungs, heart, liver, pancreas, spleen, etc., etc., etc. — I am now officially at risk for organ damage and failure, and it's one reason why I'm SO determined not to come down with COVID; it will indeed kill me.

These are newish concerns now, and they're adding to my already considerable stress. This is our most expensive month of the year (followed very closely by July, and that's not even counting April, which is tax month, in this). And there are still bills yet to pay to get us out of this month in one piece, never mind the rest of the year, so I have GOT to make some sales this week. I need help. I can't do this alone; hell, I can barely walk most of the time right now. I have four days left in which to sell enough to cover about a grand worth of expenses due before then, never mind shop for groceries and supplies.

Six new pieces since the weekend: A new hook bracelet yesterday, with a fabulous flame-red Rosarita heart, here; you can see the new gemstone beadwork set, the next in his Elementals series, here; the really phenomenal big works from Saturday are here. Those other two new pieces I mentioned last Monday night are both up here and here. More hearts are in the works for Valentine's Day including a couple of hook bracelets and a pair of earrings (the photos above is of the elements for one of the hook bracelets, actually, which will have an absolutely stupendous Rosarita heart cab). And we badly need to sell them all.

So, since we have to continue to make sales, links are here, and there's new work up, with more to come this week:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are first and foremost, the other ladder and the elliptical);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to cover all this staggering outlay somehow and get us through twelve whole months of a new year, plus put aside enough for a new well when the ground thaws enough to drill in the spring. And there's lots of fabulous new work, so please share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2022; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.