Photo copyright Aji, 2022; all rights reserved. |
That was yesterday; it feels like the sunset at the end of the world. Click on the photo and enlarge it, because it's pretty amazing; you can actually see the outline of the setting sun through the smoke haze. We had a corona around the moon last night, too, although there wasn't a cloud in the sky, a product of the pall from the fires. Meanwhile, the winds that were supposed to jack into high gear at 11 AM are already here an hour and a half early, and there's no update on the area fires yet. All we do know is that the one to the rest is fewer than eight miles from three different Pueblos, and that aspect of it is getting no coverage, because it's 11 miles from one of the top 10 richest towns in the nation [Los Alamos] and that's all the media can be bothered to care about. More evac orders went out for Mora and San Miguel Counties yesterday, and these winds will both have it raging out of control on new fronts and the aerial support unable to fly.
It's going to be a tough day all around anyway. I've written at length in the past about why this day is a terrible one for me, so I'm not going to repeat myself here. I am going to backing off any engagement that doesn't have to do with the business (i.e., Wings's work). I have gone from disabled but still functional to remarkably crippled in the space of six months, and I know that in a week and a half, when I get my booster, it's going to get much worse. I cannot get proper pain management because of fucked up federal policy [I know, no one cares], and I cannot remember the last time I had a real night's sleep. More than a year, certainly. My depression is in an acute phase because every ounce of energy is spent dealing with pain with no resources, and I'm just . . . done. I'm done with politicians and party bullshit, I'm done with performance, I'm done with all of it. If you think "awareness" means anything, then you obviously haven't paid attention the last 2+ years of the pandemic. They're aware. They're just perfectly happy to have us dead. And I'm not into enabling performative bullshit, and I'm not going to be patronized over it, either. I am already having to face what happens if next month's treatment doesn't work on me (and it may not). Yes, that means facing all of the implications.
All of this is a long way of saying that you won't see me engaging in much for a while. I'm largely housebound now; walking is extremely painful. But we have to make a supply run to Santa Fe before the boosters mid-month that will send my symptoms further into warp drive, so I'm going to have at least one more episode on my feet in the new feature, pain notwithstanding. If you've never dealt with acute pain that is also chronic, you are blessed beyond measure and you won't understand this. If you have, you will understand when I say that I literally do not have the mental, never mind physical, space for anything more right now. So, to the one think I have to keep doing, because it's what pays the bills and keeps the lights on and keeps the Tax Man off our backs (four figures left on '21, two more 4-figure prepayments for '22, and $4,500 in the offing for my upcoming treatment, assuming that it works):
Out of order today, because the next round in Wings's "Elementals" series, this one the first set for spring, will likely be done later today, and if it is, I want to feature it. If not, I'll come up with something else, but don't expect to see the NDN Silver post until late afternoon, probably, at the earliest. We will need to make consistent sales all year to cover the medical stuff, but mostly to cover what the feds are taking. Links are here:
- Sales here;
- Testimonials here;
- Amazon wishlist here (priorities are first and foremost, the other ladder, the Thermacell lanterns [the flies are already out, so the mosquitoes won't be far behind], and the liquid soaps, which prevent our hands from cracking and bleeding given that we're forced to wash them fifty times a day;
- Patreon here;
- Ko-fi here.
We're still hoping to put aside enough for a new well when the ground thaws enough to drill in the spring, too, Nah, we've given up on the well. No one's available to drill before the latter half of summer, and the tax burden means we would never be able to afford it anyway. But it's perhaps even more of a good time to make a purchase, because Uncle Sam is a vindictive colonizer, and my current stress levels about paying it all are off the charts. And there's lots of fabulous work, so please share all of the links.
All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2022; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.
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