That shot I never get.

Photo copyright Aji, 2022; all rights reserved.

This is that shot I never get (never have until now, anyway): Cricket, the traumatized feral, calm and contented enough to sleep in the sun, in the open, on the deck and in front of everybody. Yes, I took it through the window so as not to disturb him, but it's still one of the sweetest photos of him that I've ever been able to take. [If you're new-ish here, you won't know that Cricket was one of a pack of six ferals who showed up here almost five years ago, starved nearly to death, all bones, and in his case, horribly, unspeakably abused. The other five had happen to them, one by one, what tends to happen to ferals; they wander off and don't return (and in some cases you know why and mourn and in others you never get to find out but you still mourn because you know, really). All except Cricket. And all these years later, he still can't get past the trauma response enough to let us pet him, but he loves us and the pups, he knows this is his home, and he protects us all. It's vanishingly rare to see him feeling safe enough not to have to be on alert.]

I didn't fare so well. After waking up repeatedly, I finally gasped awake a little after three. There's nothing so terrifying as that moment when you first breathe again. [No, it's not sleep apnea; they can't figure out what the cause is, but it's dangerous.] Anyway, not much sleep at all, for me, obviously, and the financial stresses and the unending physical pain are not helping with that.

My whole focus now has to be on making sales. All of it. If I don't bring in more income soon, we're done, and there is no way around that. Not this month, not next month, not the rest of the year. This has been a spectacularly bad year for sales (and my Patreon, too, which is down several hundred dollars a month [one patron kindly gave me a few months' heads-up, but the rest is just cancellations and attrition courtesy of a terrible economy]), and between last year's installment payments (now done) and next year's quarterly payments (not done), the tax burden is killing us. 

As I said yesterday, my health is killing me, too, and the financial stresses are only compounding that. I know people don't understand what my illness actually does. The constant barrage to my immune system from the COVID vaccines is only making it worse, and there's nothing I can do for any of it. I would like to catch a break on something in this mess, but apparently that's going to be denied me yet again. The financial stuff has me at the absolute end of my tether, and I need help.

All the links are here; please, share them, too (and there's a new wishlist priority, the automatic composter, which will do wonders for saving on waste and allow Wings to compost the land and trees regularly even through the winter; my physical function is impaired enough now that things can only get done if I have the help of equipment like this):

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are, first and foremost, the automatic composter and the wheelbarrow, then the other ladder);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

We're still hoping to put aside enough for a new well when the ground thaws enough to drill in the spring, too, Nah, we've given up on the well. No one's available to drill before late next year at the earliest, and this year's tax burden means we would never be able to afford it anyway. But it's even more of a good time to make a purchase, because Uncle Sam is a vindictive colonizer, and my current stress levels about paying it all are off the charts. And there's lots of fabulous work, so please share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2022; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.