More tests and bills skyrocketing by the day. Sales/shares/etc. still needed.

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

Even the worst week can be made better with flowers. Especially when Wings surprises me with them. He had to run into town for half an hour this afternoon to pick up a couple of things at the hardware store and a couple other errands. While out and about, he ran into an elderly man selling single long-stemmed roses practically for a song. He chose a red, a yellow, and a yellow tipped with red (no, I have no idea what their various names are), and he made my whole day.

Last night, I'd removed the puppy items from the Amazon wishlist because of their bloodthirsty behavior. Unfortunately, it's not really their fault; it's the fault of their ostensible [asshole] humans who have let them starve their entire young lives. And given that they've spent most of the last two months here every day, it's been breaking my heart to have to run them off every time they turn up. Wings, too. So we've decided that we're going to expand the chicken run substantially and keep the girls in it, and then the pups can come over here to eat (and sleep) safely. The chickens already have a great deal of space: The coop is actually our old hay barn, with a wooden structural coop built inside it; there's an opening in one corner for them to go outside in a big area behind the barn, fenced with ProPanels and chicken wire. But they're used to being truly free-range, so if they're going to have to stay locked up, we'll need to expand the fenced area for them quite a bit. It's not ideal, but it's the only thing we can think to do for now. The pups are clearly heartbroken, and neither of us can take the guilt from their expressions. Anyway, this is all by way of saying that the puppy stuff is all back on the wishlist again (and if anyone wants to give She-Wolf a hand in her cancer battle, the puppy pads are actually for her dog bed; we're going through them like crazy).

So, yeah, it's been a terrible week. Last night, I had another really, really bad episode. There's no predicting them, and all I can do right now is ride them out. The next step, apparently, will be a series of CT scans down in Santa Fe, but that's nowhere near scheduled yet (and we'll have to pay when I show up for them, so they're going to be delayed for a while). On top of the constant expense for our medical issues, I have not managed to make a single sale all week, and I sure as hell can't write for the new site because it's not functional. So I'm posting the links again tonight, in hopes that folks will share them, and maybe someone will be inspired to buy some of Wings's work, at least. Here they are:

• Wings's site, for sales;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount; another almost $400 for Wings this week);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of supplies for She-Wolf;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
• Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. There are some things left on both registries that I thought by now I might be able just to buy outright, but medical bills (mine and She-Wolf's both) have to come first.

Last night I said that since my blood pressure had been sky-high most of the day and that painful dead weight in my chest even heavier than usual (thanks to dead chickens and a stranger twice Wings's size putting his hands on him twice), I was going to try to avoid anything really unpleasant happening with my health right then. Obviously, that didn't work; the episode was bad enough that I spent essentially the whole night on oxygen and praying that I wouldn't need to do anything else. The lack of answers, the stress, the financial pressure is killing me. We both need the space to heal, at least to whatever extent, in my case, turns out to be possible. So please spread the links around, because I have got to generate some regular income somehow.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

To Let the Light In, and to Return It to the World

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a pair of complementary works that stand on their own or as part of a larger set. They are symbols of love manifest as hearts, and reminders that this is a time to let the light in, and return it to the world as a whole.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (especially now; the medical bills will hit the $30K mark all too soon), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

  

Blue moons and fool moons and just a really, really bad week.

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

Okay, so it kind of actually looks like a blue moon. I think it's more of a fool moon, though. This week has sucked beyond description.

It began in downright misery on the financial front; that's only gotten worse, and will continue to be for a very long time. Add to that the attempted entry into our lives and space of a certain individual whose claimed motivations are clearly not the real ones, and it's been a lot of added stress on two people who are battling a great deal of physical and other strain already. And, of course, there's my continued inability to get my new platform functional.

Then there are the two dead chickens in two days, as outlined in posts below. And, of course, the culprits, who, after two months of taking care of them daily, are now necessarily being permanently banished, because they cannot be trusted not to kill all of them.

Then there was today's other weirdness, in which Wings was subjected to assault and battery by a mentally ill person (no injury, but he put his hands on Wings twice and tried to follow us, and that's really unsettling). We had to go to Smith's to pick up Wings's newest prescription, and homeless people often sit under the overhang, smoking and sometimes panhandling. They tend to be mostly a polite bunch. Not this big hulking white guy. He jumped out in front of us, saying something, and I thought at first he was one of the folks who recognized Wings from years back; they're always accosting us everywhere, sometimes just to say hi, sometimes to ask for scratch. 

Not this guy. He was clearly mentally ill, and just as clearly violent, and just as clearly no one we knew in any way, shape, or form. We reported it to the store management but declined to involve the police, for all the usual reasons. But it was frightening, to say the least, particularly since whatever was going on in the guy's head made him see not Wings but someone else entirely, and he was also entirely ready to throw down. Fortunately, we defused it long enough to be able to walk away, although he tried to follow us as we were leaving, too.

So it's been a bad day in several ways. It's been a worse week. And I've gotten nothing accomplished on the many, many things I needed to do today, nor have I managed to make a single sale, and I sure as hell can't write for the new site because it's not functional. So I'm posting the links again tonight, in hopes that folks will share them, and maybe someone will be inspired to buy some of Wings's work, at least. Here they are:

• Wings's site, for sales;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount; another almost $400 for Wings this week);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of supplies for She-Wolf;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
• Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. There are some things left on both registries that I thought by now I might be able just to buy outright, but medical bills (mine and She-Wolf's both) have to come first.

And now, since my blood pressure has been sky-high most of the day and that painful dead weight in my chest even heavier than usual, I'm going to give up on stuff for now and try to avoid anything really unpleasant happening with my health right now.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

 

Pepper Takes Flight, Too.

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

The pups are banished for good. They will not be allowed back.

First thing this morning, as soon as Wings let the chickens out, Coyote and Crow took off after one of the 'lorps. They got her before anyone could do anything, dragged her under the windbreak into the red willows by the house, and killed her. 

The Australorps are the solid black ones in the image above. At first I thought it was Hail, my favorite, otherwise known as PuppyGirl, because she acts just like a puppy herself. I think now it was Pepper, the one who always did a bunk if she weren't allowed out on what she considered her schedule, so she could go lay an egg in the hay barn.  

Today, she never got the chance. 

Two in two days is not any kind of acceptable record. Now that they've coded chickens as prey, it's not undoable, at least not for the kind of time and resources we have to devote to that sort of deprogramming. Unfortunately, it means that they will no longer be as well fed, but we've given them a pretty healthy start. That will have to be handled by someone else now.

A day that I was going to devote to so many things again started off with a tiny burial. Pepper is next to Sienna, and her spirit is on its way — no doubt flying, like the chickens in A Wish for Wings That Work, in a way she could never manage in life. Like her sister, she has everything she needs for her journey, and since Sienna had only a day's head start, I imagine she and Pepper will find each other somewhere along the road and travel together the rest of the way. 

That's two that I have failed, and terribly so. I can't forgive myself for it; they deserved better than this. [If it turns out that the one I believe to be Hail, running around the back of the coop, is actually Pepper instead, I will be more even heartbroken than I am now, because Hail has been my girl. That's not saying much, though, because right now, My heart hurts with an actual physical pain beyond what I've felt since November.] But Pepper was feisty and utterly independent of mind and spirit. She was also not far down the favorite list, simply because of that independent streak. I could always count on her to wait until after everyone had been put in for the night to sneak out, or to find a way out early in the morning. I once caught a shot of her balanced on the razor-thin edge of the chicken wire in the back, so I know how she was getting out. Making it higher didn't do any good; she was resourceful, to say the least.

And she will always have that same spot in our hearts. 

We love you, Pepper, and I'm sorry, baby girl.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Friday Feature: Like Sand Become Art

Photo copyright Wings, 2018; all rights reserved.

It's our Friday Feature at The NDN Silver Blog, with a small series of sculptural works by a master, a quartet of spirit beings who are nevertheless able to stand on their own. They are Corn Maidens, those whose existence is bound up with the First Sister, and at this time of year they teach us of seeds become jewels, like sand become art.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (especially now; massive medical outlays this week and next, and I despair of any way of getting the subscription platform up and running in the foreseeable future), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Sienna Flies Onward

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

The puppies have been banished, evicted, exiled.  The puppies are back, never fear.

We had to be out bright and early this morning for Wings's appointment (which has set us back nearly $400 cash on the barrelhead); my own is deferred yet again, because the imaging has had to be rescheduled. We may wind up skipping one round and going straight to the higher-end one (which will, of course, be exponentially more expensive, so it will likely get deferred for quite a while yet, because it has to be paid in advance).

At any rate, just before we left, Wings said that one of the chickens had escaped. He thought it was one of the reds, who are older and old hands (or feet, as the case may be) at avoiding danger; they have as many lives as your average feral cat. The younger ones are just coming up on a year old, and they still act brand new at some of this stuff. They're all also impossible to catch when they don't want to be caught. Anyway, she did not want to be caught, and being short on time and thinking it was a red, we assumed she'd be okay. We returned to find that the dogs had gotten Sienna.

She's one of the Americaunas in the photo — I believe the one to the right of the water dispenser, but she could be the one across from her, or the one solidly in the food tray; I can't tell which of those three from this photo. These girls and their slightly lighter-colored sisters are the so-called "Easter-eggers," the ones who lay turquoise eggs. They also look remarkably like a cross between a pheasant and an owl and a hawk, and they're full of personality (chickenality?).

And one of their number is now gone. I won't put the details into your mind; suffice to say that it was bad. Wings is furious, and has sent the pups all back to whatever place is "home." [No, I don't know whether that will change. For now, don't send any more puppy food.] I'm just heartbroken, and I know that I failed her by not stopping to chase her down and put her back in the coop. She was a beautiful little russet girl, all earthy clay-like colors (hence the name), feathers touched with copper and gray and pheasant-like bands, curved hawkish beak and fluffy little owlet cheeks. She's been buried in the usual way where several of her predecessors are; Opal's probably waiting for her, and Ember too. For now, Sienna flies onward.

We love you, little Sienna girl.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

#TBT: Honoring the Spirits of Sky and Light

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

It's #ThrowbackThursday at The NDN Silver Blog, with a work from last fall created especially for a very dear friend in the colors of that season. Whether because of or despite the drought, they are the colors of this season, too, and a beautiful means of honoring the spirits of sky and light.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. These were one-of-a-kind, of course, but if the general style or stones speak to your spirit, simply inquire via the site's Contact form; Wings can create a version uniquely your own. And, as always, sales are very much needed (now more than ever, with between us a large medical outlay today and a truly massive one coming up very soon), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

 

Time to Let Our Spirits Dance

Photo copyright Aji, 2018;
all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's my favorite among Wings's inventory of earrings, a pair that reminds us of the importance of appreciation, and of celebration. It is spring, with two inches of snow this morning but warmer winds coming soon, and it is a time to let our spirits dance. 

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (now more than ever), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Red Willow Spirit: A Forward Flow

Photo copyright Wings, 2018;
all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's an edition of Red Willow Spirit for a drought-riddled thaw. It's a contemplation on the lessons of the great river, which, left to do as it is given, will always seek and find a forward flow.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. It's Wings's Blue Water Gorge series of photos today, and as always, they're available for purchase in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. Also as always, sales are very much needed (now more than ever), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Thunderbird Out.

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

There will be no more posts here, or at my other site, for a while, save intermittently. I'll keep doing Wings's daily post and the viral one here, but that's it.

The bad news never ends (no, not my health, not directly, although it's implicated). The upshot is that everything I've tried for years with my writing is clearly not meant to be. But writing is really the only thing I have left; my health is too bad, my disability too severe, for me to work at any kind of other job. I need to find a permanent paid writing gig, one that permits permanent telecommuting only. There's no choice left in the matter, and somehow I have to dig this up in the midst of everything else we have going on, so that's where I have to put what little energy I have.

No, I'm not saying anything further. I also won't be around much. That's the way things have to be, so I'd best get cracking. At least you won't have to see the same damn post over and over again that you've seen for the last 2.5 years.

Thunderbird out.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Monday Photo Meditation: A Steady Will and a Strong Heart

Photo copyright Wings, 2018; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a photo meditation for a drought-stricken Monday in early spring. The waters are lower than the should be this time of year, and slower, too, but they teach us the importance, now more than ever, of maintaining a steady will and a strong heart.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, Wings's photos are available for purchase in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. Also as always, sales are very much needed (especially now, with appointments and tests and bills all on the rise weekly), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

A visit from my girl. Also, apparently, from some sort of bug, and soon from bad weather. Sales badly needed, and shares too.

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

She gave me a few distance shots today. It was purposeful on her part; she knows, somehow, what it means when I'm outside with the camera, and she runs circles around me overhead to try to help me get the shot. I'm reduced to my old camera these days, though, one without much power or flexibility, so decent ones are few and far between.

Today's appointment got rescheduled for Tuesday, but now we're going to have to reschedule it again, most likely, because the next two days are supposed to bring bad weather. Well, "bad" in the sense of not wanting to drive down the Gorge in it; very good weather for the land, and I hope we get it. If the clouds on all sides right now are any indication, it's on the way. 

Of course, the wind and the change in the weather is screwing with my body and my pain levels in very unpleasant ways. Not helping my chest much, either, nor is the scratchy throat and intermittent cough I've developed since midday yesterday. Too much time in places where there are sick people, and with the dangerous state of my chest right now, I can't afford to get that kind of sick. So I've been trying to take it as easy as possible today, but that's not easy when the work has to get done and I'm slower than ever at being able to do it. Like last night, all the rest is cut-and-paste, because my brain is too tired to focus enough to change it. Suffice to say that we need to make some sales, and I need to get the site monetized.

I'm setting two separate goals, as outlined below, because they're both dunning me steadily now. The overall goal is my $25K+ in emergency medical bills. I've been trying to raise an initial $1,700 to take care of two specific bills: the local ambulance and one hospitalist's fee. We're $145 of the way toward it. Those are now covered (thank you, thank you again). The next goal is two-fold: One is the cost of the ambulance when they transferred me down to Albuquerque, which is $2K; the other is one of the Lovelace doctors, which is $1,500. That's $3,500 total, and the next phase of all this with regard to the new platform. Then I can turn my attention to the really big ones, which are the hospital bills themselves (Lovelace in particular is going to be bad, because, well, cardiac cath). A caveat: I have a lot of kinks to get worked out yet, but PayPal is now theoretically linked to the progress meter on the site. I say "theoretically," because I've just discovered that I apparently have to set up at least one other page to make the subscription "purchase" possible. Eventually, if you subscribe via PayPal (it's a monthly thing like Patreon), it will show, although for now the only way to do it is to hit the PayPal "Subscribe" button. I'm hoping to get that figured out and fixed tomorrow. I also need to figure out how to pin it to the main page, so for now, the only way to access it is here. Please share this link around on social media and elsewhere. I still need to raise the $3,500 as fast as possible, because there are thousands' worth of hospital bills stacked up behind it. It also means that we need sales and I need to get my subscription platform up and running (and you can still subscribe via PayPal even now). So here are the links: 

• Tonight's post elsewhere (my girl, and yes, she does know me that well);
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to She-Wolf's & my medical bills, and now Wings's too);
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• Wings's site, for sales;
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of supplies for She-Wolf and food for the half-feral pack;
• Wayfair gift cards, to replenish all the furnishings that the RV has destroyed in one way or another.
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
• Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. There are some things left on both registries that I thought by now I might be able just to buy outright, but medical bills (mine and She-Wolf's both) have to come first.

Please check out the new platform, share the links, get your friends to participate. I've got a long road ahead of me, just in terms of diagnosis and, I hope, eventually treatment. Being able to pay off the medical bills will go a long way toward keeping me as healthy as possible in the meantime. Thanks, everybody, from both of us.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

In the Embrace of the Light

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's one of my favorites among Wings's current works, a pair of earrings perfectly suited to these earliest days of spring. It's a pair of beautifully free-form indigo jewels set in silver that remind us, with winter's end, to get about the business of living: of standing up, reaching out, and working and dancing in the embrace of the light.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (especially now; medical appointments and tests and bills continue to mount for both of us), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Cold and windy and tired. Sales and shares badly needed.

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

Cricket, playing solo King of the Hill, with that lop-ear thing going. Still the most fearful of the bunch, but he's getting closer, if not yet willing to let us get near him. He's bonded with She-Wolf, though, who I think he regards as a surrogate mother.

Everything is cold, windy, and tired. I can't really function tonight. Tomorrow's appointment has been bumped to Tuesday, when it's supposed to be messy weather. Meanwhile, the stress of everything else is killing me, the bills, the inability to get things working on the new site, the constant shifts in scheduling, and most of all, the not knowing what this is and whether it's going to turn out to be really bad. All the rest is cut-and-paste, because my brain is too tired to focus enough to change it. Suffice to say that we need to make some sales, and I need to get the site monetized.

I'm setting two separate goals, as outlined below, because they're both dunning me steadily now. The overall goal is my $25K+ in emergency medical bills. I've been trying to raise an initial $1,700 to take care of two specific bills: the local ambulance and one hospitalist's fee. We're $145 of the way toward it. Those are now covered (thank you, thank you again). The next goal is two-fold: One is the cost of the ambulance when they transferred me down to Albuquerque, which is $2K; the other is one of the Lovelace doctors, which is $1,500. That's $3,500 total, and the next phase of all this with regard to the new platform. Then I can turn my attention to the really big ones, which are the hospital bills themselves (Lovelace in particular is going to be bad, because, well, cardiac cath). A caveat: I have a lot of kinks to get worked out yet, but PayPal is now theoretically linked to the progress meter on the site. I say "theoretically," because I've just discovered that I apparently have to set up at least one other page to make the subscription "purchase" possible. Eventually, if you subscribe via PayPal (it's a monthly thing like Patreon), it will show, although for now the only way to do it is to hit the PayPal "Subscribe" button. I'm hoping to get that figured out and fixed tomorrow. I also need to figure out how to pin it to the main page, so for now, the only way to access it is here. Please share this link around on social media and elsewhere. I still need to raise the $3,500 as fast as possible, because there are thousands' worth of hospital bills stacked up behind it. It also means that we need sales and I need to get my subscription platform up and running (and you can still subscribe via PayPal even now). So here are the links: 

• Tonight's post elsewhere (falls in the memoir category, and doesn't need any commentary);
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to She-Wolf's & my medical bills, and now Wings's too);
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• Wings's site, for sales;
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of supplies for She-Wolf and food for the half-feral pack;
• Wayfair gift cards, to replenish all the furnishings that the RV has destroyed in one way or another.
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
• Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. There are some things left on both registries that I thought by now I might be able just to buy outright, but medical bills (mine and She-Wolf's both) have to come first.

Please check out the new platform, share the links, get your friends to participate. I've got a long road ahead of me, just in terms of diagnosis and, I hope, eventually treatment. Being able to pay off the medical bills will go a long way toward keeping me as healthy as possible in the meantime. Thanks, everybody, from both of us.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

To Dream a Better World, and Then to Defend It

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a work to honor the world of dreams, and to provide tangible protection for those who fight for the visionary wisdom that world delivers. It's a reminder, too, on this day of reckoning: of our own obligation to dream a better world, and then to defend it.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (especially now, with new appointments and tests scheduled and bills climbing for us both), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Rain and wind, and a lot of stress and expense coming up. Sales and shares badly needed.

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

One in several breaks between various storms today. Spring is most definitely here: We've gone from clouds to rain to sun to more clouds to wind to more rain to more sun to heavy rain to cold wind, with snow dusting the peaks, of course. Not enough to show, or even stick around, but it was there briefly. Now it's brilliantly sunny and windy and very cold again. We'll take the rain where we can get it, at this point.

Schedule completely upended again today, with Wings's appointment rescheduled. I had said seven appointments, plus two rounds of testing; actually, it was originally eight, plus the tests, but I whacked one of next week's for now (the one I'd forgotten about, because I thought I'd already canceled it). I don't think any form of bodywork, no matter how ordinarily therapeutic, is a good idea right now until the imaging is done. [It was supposed to be some esophageal work, but . . . no. Not until I know what's going on in my chest, because I can't afford to have them be wrong and do irreparable harm.]

I hope something shows up, seriously, because while on days like today my autoimmune pain is in hyperdrive, this chest pain and it's other attendant symptoms operate on a whole other scale entirely. As I've been saying, I have to find a way to deal with this level of pain and fatigue and, yes, fear, while everyone else effs around with no sense of urgency whatsoever, and I haven't figured out those pieces of this yet. I've got more work to do tonight, a LOT of work lined up for this weekend, and I have GOT to get to the time to try to resolve this platform issue, because I really, really need to start getting these medical bills paid. The stress is killing me. All the rest is cut-and-paste, because my brain is too tired to focus enough to change it. Suffice to say that we need to make some sales, and I need to get the site monetized.

I'm setting two separate goals, as outlined below, because they're both dunning me steadily now. The overall goal is my $25K+ in emergency medical bills. I've been trying to raise an initial $1,700 to take care of two specific bills: the local ambulance and one hospitalist's fee. We're $145 of the way toward it. Those are now covered (thank you, thank you again). The next goal is two-fold: One is the cost of the ambulance when they transferred me down to Albuquerque, which is $2K; the other is one of the Lovelace doctors, which is $1,500. That's $3,500 total, and the next phase of all this with regard to the new platform. Then I can turn my attention to the really big ones, which are the hospital bills themselves (Lovelace in particular is going to be bad, because, well, cardiac cath). A caveat: I have a lot of kinks to get worked out yet, but PayPal is now theoretically linked to the progress meter on the site. I say "theoretically," because I've just discovered that I apparently have to set up at least one other page to make the subscription "purchase" possible. Eventually, if you subscribe via PayPal (it's a monthly thing like Patreon), it will show, although for now the only way to do it is to hit the PayPal "Subscribe" button. I'm hoping to get that figured out and fixed tomorrow. I also need to figure out how to pin it to the main page, so for now, the only way to access it is here. Please share this link around on social media and elsewhere. I still need to raise the $3,500 as fast as possible, because there are thousands' worth of hospital bills stacked up behind it. It also means that we need sales and I need to get my subscription platform up and running (and you can still subscribe via PayPal even now). So here are the links: 

• Tonight's post elsewhere (a timely reminder, given tomorrow's events);
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to She-Wolf's & my medical bills, and now Wings's too);
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• Wings's site, for sales;
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of supplies for She-Wolf and food for the half-feral pack;
• Wayfair gift cards, to replenish all the furnishings that the RV has destroyed in one way or another.
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
• Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. There are some things left on both registries that I thought by now I might be able just to buy outright, but medical bills (mine and She-Wolf's both) have to come first.

Please check out the new platform, share the links, get your friends to participate. I've got a long road ahead of me, just in terms of diagnosis and, I hope, eventually treatment. Being able to pay off the medical bills will go a long way toward keeping me as healthy as possible in the meantime. Thanks, everybody, from both of us.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Friday Feature: Strength From the Earth

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

It's our Friday Feature at The NDN Silver Blog, with a work by a master that represents tradition itself. It's an elder, summoned from the very land upon which we walk, and its form and shape remind us that, even in unsettled times, we draw strength from the earth to survive the storm.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (especially now, with medical expenses mounting for both of us), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Between storms and a momentary reprieve, but it all ramps up again first thing tomorrow. Sales and shares very much needed.

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

Today put us between storms in more ways than one. First off, I got a reprieve from the physically scary stuff; the doc had an emergency, and her office called about an hour before I was supposed to be there. My concern already (I mean, beyond the pain I've been told to expect from it) was that if the underlying condition it's designed to treat turns out not to be at issue for me, what damage might it do? So we're going to reschedule after at least the first round of imaging is complete. 

Today it was initially brilliantly sunny and calm, with a high past seventy, and it was a wonderful reprieve. By late afternoon, the winds had risen and the clouds had moved in, but I got a little time outside in shorts and without sleeves, so I don't look quite so ashy-pale and like death warmed over. Tomorrow is Wings again, bright and early. Sunday is both of us, in a sense, but mostly me. Next week is a bunch more stuff, and it's all crazybusy and crazyexpensive, so as I've been saying, expect mostly just the minimum from me the rest of this week and into next week, all the more so because of my pain levels right now; this chest pain is something else. And as I said last night, I have to find a way to deal with this level of pain and fatigue and, yes, fear, while everyone else effs around with no sense of urgency whatsoever, and I haven't figured out those pieces of this yet. I've got more work to do tonight, so the rest is cut-and-paste. And I really do need to get to the time to try to resolve this platform issue, because I really, really need to start getting these medical bills paid. The stress is killing me.

I'm setting two separate goals, as outlined below, because they're both dunning me steadily now. The overall goal is my $25K+ in emergency medical bills. I've been trying to raise an initial $1,700 to take care of two specific bills: the local ambulance and one hospitalist's fee. We're $145 of the way toward it. Those are now covered (thank you, thank you again). The next goal is two-fold: One is the cost of the ambulance when they transferred me down to Albuquerque, which is $2K; the other is one of the Lovelace doctors, which is $1,500. That's $3,500 total, and the next phase of all this with regard to the new platform. Then I can turn my attention to the really big ones, which are the hospital bills themselves (Lovelace in particular is going to be bad, because, well, cardiac cath). A caveat: I have a lot of kinks to get worked out yet, but PayPal is now theoretically linked to the progress meter on the site. I say "theoretically," because I've just discovered that I apparently have to set up at least one other page to make the subscription "purchase" possible. Eventually, if you subscribe via PayPal (it's a monthly thing like Patreon), it will show, although for now the only way to do it is to hit the PayPal "Subscribe" button. I'm hoping to get that figured out and fixed tomorrow. I also need to figure out how to pin it to the main page, so for now, the only way to access it is here. Please share this link around on social media and elsewhere. I still need to raise the $3,500 as fast as possible, because there are thousands' worth of hospital bills stacked up behind it. It also means that we need sales and I need to get my subscription platform up and running (and you can still subscribe via PayPal even now). So here are the links: 

• Tonight's post elsewhere (the biggest red-tail I've ever seen, impossibly high and yet hovering close);
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to She-Wolf's & my medical bills, and now Wings's too);
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• Wings's site, for sales;
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of supplies for She-Wolf and food for the half-feral pack;
• Wayfair gift cards, to replenish all the furnishings that the RV has destroyed in one way or another.
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
• Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. There are some things left on both registries that I thought by now I might be able just to buy outright, but medical bills (mine and She-Wolf's both) have to come first.

Please check out the new platform, share the links, get your friends to participate. I've got a long road ahead of me, just in terms of diagnosis and, I hope, eventually treatment. Being able to pay off the medical bills will go a long way toward keeping me as healthy as possible in the meantime. Thanks, everybody, from both of us.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

#ThrowbackThursday: Lighting Up a Warmer World

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

It's #TBT at The NDN Silver Blog, with a work from the earliest days of last summer manifest as intense desert skies. It was a barrette, specially commissioned by a dear friend, one that evoked the sun at work in turquoise skies, lighting up a warmer world of soft winds and amber fire.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. This one was one of a kind, of course, but if style or stones speak to your spirit, simply inquire via the site's Contact form; Wings can create a version uniquely your own. And, as always, sales are very much needed (especially now, with medical bills mounting fast for both of us), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Good news, as well as scary stuff upcoming. Sales and shares very much needed right now.

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

It's good to come home and see where you've been, and it's all golden light.

Actually, it's just good to come home, period. Today was our first trip out of town, if memory serves, where we came home to the house instead of the RV. It's amazing.

The trip was a success; Wings had his long-rescheduled echo today, and aside from a few small things most likely mostly related to the natural aging process, his heart's still in good shape. What this means is that his hypertension is not due to any underlying heart problem, which is wonderful news. But we still have to get his medication protocol adjusted properly, and that appointment is coming up fast. The cardiologist at NMHI said that, barring any changes, he only needs to see him a year from now for a standard check-up, so if my body would permit it, I'd be dancing right now. [The cardiologist also thought I was a nurse practitioner, LOL. If only. I told him no, I'd just absorbed a lot having had to be caregiver for multiple elders.]

Now, of course, we're both wiped out; the trip is a lot harder on us than it used to be. I couldn't have risked making it had we not had the portable oxygen concentrator, and sure enough, I needed it on the way home. I'm wearing the cannula now, too. Thank you once again to everyone who made it possible, because today was an object lesson in just how essential it is for me now.

I'll be scarce the rest of the week, since between us we have appointments tomorrow, Friday, and Sunday, and likely a couple more next week. I'm up first thing tomorrow, and this one scares me. The practitioner has told me that severe pain is involved (if it turns out to be what they're going to try to treat). Expect mostly just the minimum from me the rest of this week and into next week, all the more so because of my pain levels right now; this chest pain is something else. And as I said last night, I have to find a way to deal with this level of pain and fatigue and, yes, fear, while everyone else effs around with no sense of urgency whatsoever, and I haven't figured out those pieces of this yet. I've got more work to do tonight, so the rest is cut-and-paste. And I really do need to get to the time to try to resolve this platform issue, because I really, really need to start getting these medical bills paid. The stress is killing me.

I'm setting two separate goals, as outlined below, because they're both dunning me steadily now. The overall goal is my $25K+ in emergency medical bills. I've been trying to raise an initial $1,700 to take care of two specific bills: the local ambulance and one hospitalist's fee. We're $145 of the way toward it. Those are now covered (thank you, thank you again). The next goal is two-fold: One is the cost of the ambulance when they transferred me down to Albuquerque, which is $2K; the other is one of the Lovelace doctors, which is $1,500. That's $3,500 total, and the next phase of all this with regard to the new platform. Then I can turn my attention to the really big ones, which are the hospital bills themselves (Lovelace in particular is going to be bad, because, well, cardiac cath). A caveat: I have a lot of kinks to get worked out yet, but PayPal is now theoretically linked to the progress meter on the site. I say "theoretically," because I've just discovered that I apparently have to set up at least one other page to make the subscription "purchase" possible. Eventually, if you subscribe via PayPal (it's a monthly thing like Patreon), it will show, although for now the only way to do it is to hit the PayPal "Subscribe" button. I'm hoping to get that figured out and fixed tomorrow. I also need to figure out how to pin it to the main page, so for now, the only way to access it is here. Please share this link around on social media and elsewhere. I still need to raise the $3,500 as fast as possible, because there are thousands' worth of hospital bills stacked up behind it. It also means that we need sales and I need to get my subscription platform up and running (and you can still subscribe via PayPal even now). So here are the links: 

• Tonight's post elsewhere (It's not as impossible as it feels sometimes);
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to She-Wolf's & my medical bills, and now Wings's too);
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• Wings's site, for sales;
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of supplies for She-Wolf and food for the half-feral pack;
• Wayfair gift cards, to replenish all the furnishings that the RV has destroyed in one way or another.
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
• Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. There are some things left on both registries that I thought by now I might be able just to buy outright, but medical bills (mine and She-Wolf's both) have to come first.

Please check out the new platform, share the links, get your friends to participate. I've got a long road ahead of me, just in terms of diagnosis and, I hope, eventually treatment. Being able to pay off the medical bills will go a long way toward keeping me as healthy as possible in the meantime. Thanks, everybody, from both of us.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.