And I thought yesterday was hard.

Photo copyright Aji, 2025; all rights reserved.

You can't tell in the photo, of course, but the wind was already raging that early this morning. Actually, strike that; it never stopped, all night, as far as I could tell.  Somewhere around 3 AM, I think it was, we got a few more flurries, but not enough to stick. The wind just screeched and gibbered all night long.

And then the sun came up, and it turned into something demonic.

And I thought yesterday was hard.

Today's been nothing short of brutal. Even if I get to stay indoors the whole time, high winds like these break my body apart. It's the absolute worst weather phenomenon for my complex of autoimmune diseases, and when you get sustained 40mph+ winds all day long, when the actual high barely gets above freezing? And when I have to be out IN it?

I'm wrecked. My pain levels, everywhere, are completely off the charts, and they'll stay that way until the winds die down. I'll be useless for the rest of the week, and then some. 

But it's not just that. It was the errands, the walking on hard surfaces, the standing in lines, the wear and tear on feet and knees and hips, in addition to my hands, pushing carts, carrying things, sorting and walking and so forth outside, in the cold and the wind. And it was intending to go buy beads for Wings's four new pendants, only to find them closed for a death in the family, and knowing full well what that means. It's not members of our family, but these folks are friends, and it hit us much harder than I think either of us expected.

And now, of course, everything's late, and I'lll be spending the whole evening and a good chunk of the night working on all the things I couldn't get to today. It's always that much harder given the effects of my illness[es], particularly the pain, and I'm still recovering from last weekend's episodes, which are traumatizing in and of themselves. Tinu used to talk about this; imagine, if you can, feeling your body literally shutting down around you, feeling it dying while you're fully conscious and can do nothing about it except try to keep breathing and pray. That's what each of these is, and I always have to wonder if this is the one I don't come back from, and that's a mindfuck and a half, lemmetellya. And on top of that, where and when is the line going to fall, the one where, even if I survive, I can't do even this stuff anymore? That, too.

And it doesn't help that the world is still on fire, they're still coming for us all, and we still have to worry about our communities, about our relatives [both of whom are disproportionately affected by this illegal "funding suspension"], . . . and about us. Last year was indescribably bad on pretty much every single front, especially sales. This year, already a month into it, and it's not appreciably better. I have GOT to make some sales, since we've had only two so far in this new year, and we're already in the second month. It takes at least one sale a week [sometimes more] just for us to break even on the year, and last year? We didn't even do half that. We're going to have to replace the well pressure pump, without question. Taxes are coming. My laptop apparently will have to wait yet another year [assuming I can keep this alive that long, which I can't assume for a moment, actually]. So now would still be a good time to buy. TONS of new and fabulous work on the site, and tons more on the way, too [three hearts as early as tomorrow evening, possibly]. But I've got to sell something, for the love of all that's holy. I can't live with this level of constant fear on top of everything else.

Links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (Amazon cards are probably most useful at this point); 
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

After such a grim year, this one far worse than the last, we urgently need to begin 2025 on a better footing before taxes take every cent, so please share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2025; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.