Day to day, moment to moment. Warrioring up as best I can. Sales/shares badly needed.

Photo copyright Aji, 2017; all rights reserved.

Yeah, I'm using a photo from October, because I need some help warrioring up right now.

I'm on the new med for the autoimmune stuff. I didn't sleep well last night, but that's the norm now. I couldn't tell what effect that might have had on it (it's a bedtime dose), but I think none; it felt as though, in ordinary circumstances, it would've made me sleepy, if anything. But my body is completely haywire right now, and even Benadryl doesn't knock me out anymore. At any rate, the day started (for me physically, I mean) as well as could be expected under the circumstances; as of an hour or two ago, it keeps trying to slide sideways, and I'm hanging on for dear life while I try to fight it. None of the usual patterns hold with whatever this is, and since no one but me has any real urgency in finding out what it is, I'm left to fend for myself through the remainder of the holidays and beyond. I do know that, every step of the way, I keep having to request the most basic things, and I also know that the oxygen that we had to figure out for ourselves and then go and pay for all on our own is the only thing that's keeping me going right now.

It's rather terrifying. All the more so knowing that I can't get so much as an answer for another week-plus.

So I will be worth not very much for the rest of this day; all my energy is going into maintaining. Yes, I'm using euphemisms across the board, so please don't voice them to me in plainer terms; I don't need the additional fear right now, okay? I got another $9K bill yesterday, in top of all the others, and that's stress enough, thanks. I don't have any answers right now, and I cannot let myself get sucked under worrying about bills when all my energy has to go to surviving, so my focus will seem rather superficial because it's what allows me to deal with this and keep going from day to day and moment to moment. And it is moment to moment. I can't make people understand, but that's where things are. Without Wings? I wouldn't even be here.

So there's a lot of uncertainty at year's end (and a lot of worry on more fundamental levels than just paying bills and so forth). For now, we still need to make sales, and they will be harder than usual not merely because Christmas is essentially over, but because there is no real tourist traffic, much less spending. Today was the busiest we've seen in town all season, and it doesn't hold a candle to the crowds of just a few years ago. We will make it through this last week of the year now, but beyond that, we don't have what normally gets us through the rest of the winter (and the weather will change, even if it's only to get really, really cold), much less for the emergency medical expenses of the last six weeks (which included a new bill today for nearly five figures), forget what remains to be done on the house for now. But sales are not just what's going to keep me alive and Wings healthy; it's going to help other folks, too. Given the circumstances, I'm leaving up the donation link, too, and the registries have some new items on then, mostly lower-priced, to replace stuff damaged by the RV or given away when we first moved into it seven years ago. So please share our links:

• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• Wings's site, for sales;
• Wayfair gift cards, to replenish all the furnishings that the RV has destroyed in one way or another.
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
• Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. Still waiting for them to resolve this fulfillment/shipping problem they have with their site. Even so, I've added some things (kitchen/dining room stuff mostly), most of which are comparatively reasonably priced. Now, it's going to be mostly odds and ends that make this place more liveable, because of the sheer volume of stuff destroyed by too many years in the RV (e.g., by the oven and stovetop, by the wiring, by the water, by the mold, etc.), or that we simply gave away seven years ago because we had no room and no place to put them and despaired of ever being able to use them again.  

As I've also been saying, I am still catching up, and will be now for a while. But this is the holiday season, and the sales/commissions from these few weeks are what keep us alive throughout the whole long winter and spring months (to say nothing of what's in the offing medically), so please continue to share the links. And please refer folks to Wings's site (and if you have an endorsement, too, so much the better). I'll be trying, slowly but, I hope, steadily, to get caught up over the course of this week. We have some massive expenses coming down the pike, and a lot of testing yet to be done before I'm out of the woods. So please keep sharing all our links. For now, I'm just so damn grateful to be alive, to have a healthy heart, to be back home with the love of my life and our dogs, the whole world is beautiful, even in spite of my terrible depression. Thanks again, to everybody, and we love you all.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2017; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.