Ajijaakwe: April 2019

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

One small bright spot.

Still happy with a bone, even if he doesn't eat much of them anymore. That was last night; at the moment, he's at my feet, sleeping very deeply. No idea at this point how much time is left to us, but as long as he's happy and as comfortable as is possible under the circumstances, we'll take it. One small bright spot in what has been a month of absolute crap.

I'm not doing so hot today myself. Rain and wind are probably part of my jacked pain levels, but the big problem is my breathing issues. The pred isn't cutting it; I may need to switch to one of the so-called rescue inhalers despite the speediness, if I can't use any of the maintenance inhalers out there. The one she prescribed before we realized I couldn't use it, either? $100 more than the last one. Fortunately, the pharmacy just put it back, since it's an allergy issue. Anyway, I see my doc again on Thursday, and I guess we'll see what she thinks then. [And yes, that's more cash on the barrelhead, for me on Thursday and Wings on Friday. It's endless, and I don't know how I'm going to be able to keep going, given the stress of the $30K in hospital balances and whatever's looming with the tumors.]

I've got a lot more work that I have to get done offline yet, too, and not much left in reserve, so here are the links:

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until May 1st for April);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, the big one being the fly spray;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

I just can't do this anymore. Not today.

Red Willow Spirit: The Embrace of Blade and Branch

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's an edition of Red Willow Spirit for a day that began in rain and will end in sun but in which the wind remains a constant. It's a contemplation, too, of the peace that accompanies a closeness with the earth, of the joy to be found in the embrace of blade and branch.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, Wings's photos are available for purchase in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (five figures' worth each of hospital bills, of taxes just paid, and of medical outlays already this year, with the potential for at least that much looming again), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Monday, April 29, 2019

Bright and fierce.

Bright and fierce.

Reminds me of Raven, who let us know yesterday in no uncertain terms that he will begin his journey in his own time and on his own terms. So, that's the approach until he "tells" us otherwise.

I wish I had any such feelings of being bright and fierce myself. That's all gone; everything's gray. That's what constant pain does. It's also what constant enforced fear and stress do, too. It's part of why I'm so far behind posting today. I've got a lot more work that I have to get done offline yet, too, and not much left in reserve, so here are the links:

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until May 1st for April);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, the big one being the fly spray;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

I just can't do this anymore. Not today.

Monday Photo Meditation: The Willows' Reach

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a photo meditation for a gray mid-spring day when our thoughts are held fast to earth by work and worry, labor and loss. It's a lesson from the trees, too, a reminder that while they also weep, the willows' reach is bold, enough for the rain and the light and the sky itself.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, his photos are available for purchase in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. Also as always, sales are very much needed (this month has seen us pay out $11K in taxes and nearly that much in medical tests and appointments for the year to date, all on top of $30K remaining in hospital balances and the prospect of more hospital bills looming fast), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Sunday, April 28, 2019

New earrings by Wings! Shells and flowers and spheres all in one.

New earrings by Wings! These were unexpected; I knew he had multiple pieces in the works, but I had no idea he'd have these done today. These are shells and flowers and spheres all in one, and they are phenomenal when they're on (yes, I had to try them out), big and bold and dangly all while hanging perfectly. These are Flowering Worlds, and you can read the full description here.

If interested, you can reach me via the site's Contact form, or via DM.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Endless heavy weather of all sorts. Endless pain to go with it.

It's just endless heavy weather of all sorts right now. Endless pain to go with it.

The forecast high winds are picking up by the minute, which would put my pain levels out of control anyway, even if it weren't for everything else. But there is the everything else. There's also the depression that goes with all of it, and it's swamping me right now. Add to all of it that we both have upcoming medical appointments this week (but no answers for me! of course not), and it's likely that we will have to pay the vet to come out for Raven this week, too, and . . . I can't do this.

I need subscribers, but more than that, I need to make sales. I need to place some work. I can't save Raven. I've got to bring in money, and I'm failing at all of it.

Here are the links:

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until May 1st for April);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, the big one being the fly spray;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

I just can't do this anymore. Not today.

The Soft and Gentle Winds of the Butterfly Spirits

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's one of Wings's more recent masterworks, a spirit being of the warmer seasons summoned from silver and stone. It's the embodiment, too, of the season in which they arrive, on the soft and gentle winds of the butterfly spirits.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (this would pay 1/3 of one of the hospital bills whose balances still total $30K, to say nothing of the five figures' worth paid out two weeks ago in taxes and in medical tests so far this year, with the prospect of that much more for surgery and treatment looming nearer), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Saturday, April 27, 2019

It's been a year already.

It's been a year already.

That was one of the last good photos I took of She-Wolf, three days before we lost her. it had been a while coming; we gave her three months beyond what anyone thought was doable, and they were good months. She had only the one night that was not so great, and the vet came out the next morning.

At 9:27 AM, I went out and gave her cedar and tobacco and fresh water at her resting place. It's still impossible to believe she's gone, much less that she's been gone a year, this little girl who showed up at the gallery one day and never really left. She was about as close as it gets to pure love, and given the diabetes of her last few years (a result of being starved so badly her first year of life), her eventual blindness (which we managed to stave off, mostly, for nearly three years beyond what they said could be done), and then the fast-moving cancer that took her from us too soon, we were blessed to have her as long as we did.

We love you, She-Wolf. You're never out of our heart, baby girl.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Stormclouds everywhere, but no rain.

Stormclouds everywhere, but no rain.

Too tired for much of anything, but the work has to get done.

I need subscribers, but more than that, I need to make sales. I need to place some work. I can't save Raven. I've got to bring in money, and I'm failing at all of it.

Here are the links:

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until May 1st for April);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, the big one being the fly spray;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

I just can't do this anymore. Not today.

The Butterflies Carry the Day On Their Wings

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a trio of all-new works (originally a quartet, but one pair has sold), earrings built around the shades of the day. Each pair is manifest in an old traditional pattern, each with its own pair of matched jewels like sun and sky and moon, each a reminder that, in the warmth of spring, the butterflies carry the day on their wings.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed ($30K in extant hospital balances, five figures' worth of taxes just paid out and a like figure in medical testing already this year, with more medical bills coming next week and the prospect of surgery and treatment looming), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Friday, April 26, 2019

Despair.

Gray days, gray water, branches as broken as my body.

There are days when it's impossible to feel anything but despair.

My strep/bronchitis relapsed yesterday. I received, first thing this morning, my second rejection of this week. I paid another bill yesterday, but I can't put a dent in the $30K, and we both have doctor's appointments again next week.

I need subscribers, but more than that, I need to make sales. I need to place some work. I can't save Raven. I've got to bring in money, and I'm failing at all of it.

Here are the links:

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until May 1st for April);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, the big one being the fly spray;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

I just can't do this anymore. Not today.

Friday Feature: Adrift On Wind and Light

It's our Friday Feature at The NDN Silver Blog, with three small works by relatives of Wings himself. It's a trio of moccasin pairs, two plain, one beaded, all in soft bright colors like the edges of a butterfly's wings, adrift on wind and light.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (five figures' worth out in taxes last week; another five figures' worth our in medical tests since the first of the year; $30K in hospital balances; and still awaiting word on what treatment, including surgery, might be looming shortly), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Thursday, April 25, 2019

All new by Wings: Two new Warrior Woman pins, with fabulous new stones.

All new by Wings! It's two new Warrior Woman pins, with fabulous new stones acquired from a lapidarist in the U.K.

He actually finished them yesterday, but I was too wiped out to think last night. Today, in truth, has been even worse, but I have a few minutes before I need to fix dinner, so I wanted to get them out there. These are made with stones he's never had occasion t use before, and they're absolutely beautiful. The first, shown above, is A Flowering Grace, built around a shimmering peach moonstone; you can read its full description here.

I love the peach moonstone, but the next one really speaks to my spirit:

This one is Stardust Messenger, and its focal stone is a fabulous aquamarine, clear and crystalline with just the tiniest hint of matrix in it to add a little shimmering mystery; you can read its description here. Coupled with the repeating Eye of Spirit motif, this one really does seem infused with starlight.

To inquire or order, you can reach me via the site's Contact form, or on FB or Twitter via DM.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Bare minimum.

As you can see, Chinook's having such a hard time fitting in. That's her sprawled in the foreground, Cricket behind her, and KitFox cheesing for the camera. Raven was with me, down at my feet.

I am not nearly as over this bronchitis as I wanted to think; everything slammed into me with a vengeance again this morning. Of course, it's all complicated by the fact that apparently, there is no inhaler I can use for asthma, and I have now been without one for six days straight, and it's showing. I'm being giving prednisone, which I hate, because in addition to the headaches (yeah, and the weight gain), it causes insomnia, and one of the reasons for the inhaler, FFS, was so that I could sleep kind of through the night without waking up repeatedly having stopped breathing altogether. I'm feeling very at the end of my tether with all of this right now. I also will not be around much, because the bare minimum is taking everything out of me.

Meanwhile, the medical and financial pressures continue to build, and there seems to be no end and no outlet. A month late, I finally got the bill for the second biopsy yesterday. It's more than twice what I was told it would be (and believe me, I interrogated them about it beforehand); it's four figures, and I don't have it. Even at that price, it's still less expensive than the first go-round, but that's a distinction without a difference now. And the kicker? They've billed me for tests that should've been complete in 72 hours, and I STILL have no results. Taxes and medical tests have wiped us out, and I have no idea how to go forward from here. Add the inevitability of Raven's condition into that mix, and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but it's all that's left to me now.

The other bills, the two hospital ones that still amount to $30K specifically, are killing me. I'm breaking under the weight of the financial pressures right now. I have to raise that $30K very fast, because that, too, is coming to a breaking point, and we can't do it without making some very big sales. [If we could sell the new concha belt (featured today, right below this post) and the butterfly maiden necklace, that would take care of what remains on the heart hospital bill. Then I could focus on the local one with the much higher balance, because they are the ones who are killing me with the stress. when I say "breaking point," I'm not just referring to bill collectors; I'm also referring to what my own body can take at this point, and the answer to that is "not much more."] We also can't do it without help. Here are the links:

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until May 1st for April);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back off it, because Wings can't lift the boxes right now with his shoulder;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

Sales, sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em, please) — that's what we need. Also good vibes for Raven for everything to be easy and pain-free and comfortable for him for whatever time he has, which is pretty clearly not long. We thought perhaps it might be the other night, but he made it very clear that he had decided against that, and so we will support him as long as he chooses to be here. Thanks.

#TBT: On Shimmering Wings

It's #ThrowbackThursday at The NDN Silver Blog, with a work from nine years ago that was, in multiple ways, a lesson in the gifts of generosity. It was not a commission but a donation, designed as a prize in a drawing for donors to a worthy cause, and it embodied the truths that the smallest spirits sometimes bear the biggest blessings, and that gifts of abundance often come to us on shimmering wings.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. This was, obviously, a one-of-a-kind work, but if the general style speaks to your spirit, simply inquire via the site's Contact form; Wings can create a version uniquely your own. And, as always, sales are very much needed ($11K out in taxes; $30K in extant hospital bills; thousands more on medical tests this year already; and surgery and treatment costs likely upcoming soon), so shares of the site link are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Still motivated.

Still here; still motivated. By bones and treats, anyway. That was yesterday; today, Raven's over in the same spot, sans bone, but wide awake. He's not in pain, and that's a blessing. The hard part is seeing him fade right before my eyes, sleeping more and longer and more deeply, seeing bits and pieces winding themselves down in very literal terms. One of these times, he may not awaken, and I have to be okay with that every time he goes to sleep. And also with the knowledge that that would still be ideal, rather than having to take other measures. Another blessing is that the other dogs are all clearly aware of what his condition means, and just as clearly choosing to support him rather than take advantage of the situation.

Meanwhile, the medical and financial pressures continue to build, and there seems to be no end and no outlet. A month late, I finally got the bill for the second biopsy yesterday. It's more than twice what I was told it would be (and believe me, I interrogated them about it beforehand); it's four figures, and I don't have it. Even at that price, it's still less expensive than the first go-round, but that's a distinction without a difference now. And the kicker? They've billed me for tests that should've been complete in 72 hours, and I STILL have no results. Taxes and medical tests have wiped us out, and I have no idea how to go forward from here. Add the inevitability of Raven's condition into that mix, and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but it's all that's left to me now.

I also can't breathe for shit. The ingredients in the inhaler I was using finally apparently reached critical mass in my system, resulting in random periodic outbreaks of hives. So far, my doctor has not been able to find an alternative, which means I'm spending a lot more time on oxygen. Stress isn't helping with that; those other bills, the two hospital ones that still amount to $30K specifically, are killing me. I'm breaking under the weight of the financial pressures right now. I have to raise that $30K very fast, because that, too, is coming to a breaking point, and we can't do it without making some very big sales. [If we could sell the new concha belt (featured today, right below this post) and the butterfly maiden necklace, that would take care of what remains on the heart hospital bill. Then I could focus on the local one with the much higher balance, because they are the ones who are killing me with the stress. when I say "breaking point," I'm not just referring to bill collectors; I'm also referring to what my own body can take at this point, and the answer to that is "not much more."] We also can't do it without help. Here are the links:

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until May 1st for April);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back off it, because Wings can't lift the boxes right now with his shoulder;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

Wings as Powerful as Light

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's one of Wings's newest pieces and one of his true masterworks, a very old traditional style given new life and spirit. It's both tribute to and embodiment of the small spirits of warmer winds and the skies that hold them, those who arrive on wings as powerful as light.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed [5 figures' worth out the door on taxes last week, nearly that much on medical testing this year, still $30K in hospital balances (and the sales of this would pay off 3/4 of one of them), and the possibility of surgery and treatment looming fast], so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Anticipatory grief.

That forsythia is planted at the head of She-Wolf's resting place. Four days from now will her one-year anniversary. She was Raven's "sister" (and, in truth, an actual cousin or half-sibling by blood, as nearly as we could tell), and she will be seeing him again all too soon.

He's asleep now, on the tile near the door, where it's cool. Cancer makes their skin itch, and he loves the feel of the tile; it's also why he still loves rolling in the wet grass. But his body is clearly beginning the process of winding itself down, and I'm swamped today by anticipatory grief. It doesn't matter that it's been a long time coming; my heart breaks for my guard puppy, the one who attached himself to me as escort and guardian and guide all those years ago.

And there's just no break from the medical and financial pressures. That big bill last week I put off last week because of the tax thing? I had to pay it this week. Then there was Wings's medical appointment, and scrips for both of us. My doc was going to prescribe a new inhaler (guess what? $100 more than the last one), but that one contains an ingredient we already KNOW I'm allergic to, and so I have no alternative yet, which means I'm spending a lot more time on oxygen. Stress isn't helping with that; those other bills, the two hospital ones that still amount to $30K specifically, are killing me. I'm breaking under the weight of the financial pressures right now. I have to raise that $30K very fast, because that, too, is coming to a breaking point, and we can't do it without making some very big sales. [If we could sell the new concha belt and the butterfly maiden necklace, that would take care of what remains on the heart hospital bill. Then I could focus on the local one with the much higher balance, because they are the ones who are killing me with the stress. when I say "breaking point," I'm not just referring to bill collectors; I'm also referring to what my own body can take at this point, and the answer to that is "not much more."] We also can't do it without help. Here are the links:

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until May 1st for April);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back off it, because Wings can't lift the boxes right now with his shoulder;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

Red Willow Spirit: The Arc of Butterfly Season

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's an edition of Red Willow Spirit to add some fire to a cold gray day, one to anticipate the colors and signs and feel of a warming world. It's a meditation, too, on the arc of butterfly season in this place, and the spirits whose arrival bookend the warmer winds that lie between them.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, Wings's photos are available for purchase in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. Also as always, sales are very much needed ($11K out last week in taxes; $30K still in hospital balances; many thousands out on medical testing already this year; and possibly another five figures' worth looming soon), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Monday, April 22, 2019

Gale-force winds.

Gale-force winds now. That was yesterday, and they'd actually subsided a bit; today's they're supposed to be bringing in significant rain from Kingman. We'll see.

I wish I could get clear of the other gale-force winds, but no go. There's no break from the medical and financial pressures. That big bill last week I put off last week because of the tax thing? I had to pay it this week. Then there was Wings's medical appointment, and scrips for both of us. And those other bills, the two hospital ones that still amount to $30K specifically, are killing me. I'm breaking under the weight of the financial pressures right now. I have to raise that $30K very fast, because that, too, is coming to a breaking point, and we can't do it without making some very big sales. [If we could sell the new concha belt and the butterfly maiden necklace, that would take care of what remains on the heart hospital bill. Then I could focus on the local one with the much higher balance, because they are the ones who are killing me with the stress. when I say "breaking point," I'm not just referring to bill collectors; I'm also referring to what my own body can take at this point, and the answer to that is "not much more."] We also can't do it without help. Here are the links:

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until May 1st for April);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back off it, because Wings can't lift the boxes right now with his shoulder;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

Monday Photo Meditation: A Space For Butterflies

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a tiny messenger spirit of the season, one who teaches us to look beyond the surface to understand our world. It's a reminder, too, that its kind our increasingly endangered, and if the world is to survive, it must be permitted to hold a space for butterflies.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, Wings's photos are available for purchase in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. Also as always, sales are very much needed (five figures' worth to taxes; another, higher five figures in extant hospital bills; thousands paid out weekly all year on medical expenses; and the possibility of surgery and long-term treatment looming), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Sunday, April 21, 2019

Little lanterns.

They look like little lanterns, like the candlers on a Victorian Christmas tree. Except, of course, for the otherwise bare aspen branches, and the spring storm sunset backlighting their pollen-heavy strands. I could use a lantern now, even a little one, to help light my way out of this tunnel. For now, things are very, very dark.

Part of it is that I feel so deathly awful. I had forgotten just how bad you tend to feel when the antibiotics first start kicking in. The cough is less deep in my chest, but nearly constant, and it kept me up pretty much all night, so now, I'm way beyond wiped out. The body aches are a nightmare, too, and they're complicated by all the other stuff going on: the autoimmune conditions, the breathing and heart issues, the inability to use my inhaler, the inflammatory responses, whatever might be lurking at the cellular level in various places in my body. [No, my current bronchitis-related misery does not permit me to forget the tumors in my body, and I still have no answers, only worries and doubts.] We're also worried about the kid who works for us; his mom's diagnosis a year and a half ago was not good, and she's having a great deal of trouble now. He's been back working for us helping with the heavy labor that I can no longer help Wings do (because all of it used to be just he and I, for years). Today, we told him to take her to the hospital and we'd pay him for the day anyway. Just two of many we're trying to help stay afloat somehow, along with ourselves. They could use some light, too.

And while there's been no respite from the health problems, as I've said, there's no break from the medical and financial pressures, either. That big bill last week I put off last week because of the tax thing? I had to pay it this week. Then there was Wings's medical appointment, and scrips for both of us. And those other bills, the two hospital ones that still amount to $30K specifically, are killing me. I'm breaking under the weight of the financial pressures right now. I have to raise that $30K very fast, because that, too, is coming to a breaking point, and we can't do it without making some very big sales. [If we could sell the new concha belt and the butterfly maiden necklace, that would take care of what remains on the heart hospital bill. Then I could focus on the local one with the much higher balance, because they are the ones who are killing me with the stress. when I say "breaking point," I'm not just referring to bill collectors; I'm also referring to what my own body can take at this point, and the answer to that is "not much more."] We also can't do it without help. Here are the links:

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until May 1st for April);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back off it, because Wings can't lift the boxes right now with his shoulder;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

Rain Falls, Earth Rises

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's one of Wings's most recent works, a pair of earrings in a spectacularly long traditional style. Beyond their incredible length and shimmer, these symbolize a meeting of earth and sky to answer our prayers, for when rain falls, earth rises, renewed and renewable.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (five figures' worth in taxes last week; $30K in existing hospital balances; thousands more out the door on medical appointments and tests and scrips all year long so far; and the prospect of massively expensive surgery and treatment looming), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Saturday, April 20, 2019

New butterfly earrings by Wings!

New butterfly earrings by Wings!

See? I did not lie when I promised these a few days ago. It just took a little longer than either of us expected, because neither of us expected to be this sick.

Like the earlier pairs (both sold), these are classic traditional repoussé butterflies, lines three-dimensional and fully articulated, but each lightweight and with a clear sense of gentle motion. Each pair features different stones; the ones above, Floating Azure, have bright blue lapis as their focal point. Full description is here.

The second pair puts me in mind of night wings — the soft, gentle, summery kind. These are A Hovering Twilight, built around a pair of deep, mysterious amethyst cabochons. Full description for them is here.

The third pair feature rainbow moonstones, and they are, if anything, even more mysterious than the amethysts — not a lot of rainbow, but a great deal of magic. These are Moondrift, and the description is here.

And last, but certainly by no means least, my personal favorites: a pair lit by the dawn itself. These are Chrysalis Sun, and they are pure fire, and you can find their description here.

If interested, you can reach me via the Contact form, or on FB or Twitter via DM.

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