All trickster.

Photo copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved.

They're crows, not ravens, but I still feel like they've got the same vibe going as this year so far: all trickster.

I'm so far down that black hole today that I can't even see a pinprick of light. We canceled Wings's dental appointment this morning, and I am just sick over it. Yes, canceled, not postponed, because until we can come up with twenty-three thousand in actual cash, we can't even get Stage 1 done. [And there are only two stages, and they've made sure we understand that they're doing us a favor breaking it up into $23K and $12K, because I guess her wealthy white colonial clientele can just cough that up at any given moment, no problem, so why can't we?] Another rejection yesterday, more bad news on another front the night before, and there's only so much physical pain I can take. And none of it matters; I have to keep going through all of it, have to find a way to bring in enough income to cover his dental, fuck my medical, because his is a lot more urgent right now.
We've got to make some sales; I've got to get this done, so that he can get this done. And I can't even keep the tools of my trade going.

[Speaking of rejections: I can't get published anywhere, for the smallest thing, but an unknown white woman got a seven-figure advance out of a nine-figure international auction to tell a story that wasn't hers to tell and to do a shitty job of it, putting immigrants at risk, all while getting critical acclaim and lots of cash and a book party that included BARBED-WIRE PARTY FAVORS, because OF COURSE. And y'all want me to be "polite," "civil," "not so angry" about white supremacy.]

Meanwhile, I'm reduced still to trying to get work done with a torn ankle and subluxed hips and knees, and now two barely functional hands, and a laptop that continues to deteriorate by the day (a camera, too, and both are essential for our work — not just mine, but his). I'm also trying to plan for all the expenses of winter to come. The Pueblo closure is slated to last two full months this time, so it will be worse than usual. In that period of time, there will be taxes to pay, his scrip to keep refilling, his dental work to try somehow to get done, and forget about my own follow-up tests, to say nothing of plumbing/wall repairs or all the work still unfinished on the house; I'm scrapping everything, because we can't afford it. Yes, I'm due for follow-up scans and biopsies already, and they're not going to happen, because we don't have five figures' worth of scratch to waste on it. I've still got to make sales, try to drum up new Patreon subscribers, do whatever I can to bring in more money, all on top of everything else. Folks can help in several ways (sales are always preferred):

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Wishlist here;
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

Please share everything. Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

A Message From the Waters

Photo copyright Aji, 2020;
all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a pair of works that constitute Wings's newest set, a necklace and earrings infused with the spirits and promise of summer. It's Dragonfly, born of and for the First Medicine, here to deliver a message from the waters for the future of us all.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (with an unusually huge cluster of bills for January alone, and two new and enormous health-related costs for Wings), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Bones.

Photo copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved.

Bones in the sky.

Bones that crack and dislocate and threaten to break all through my body.

Yesterday was the kind of day where the pain is unrelenting and damn near unmanageable. It's a little better today, purely because the storm is here. Not a heavy one, but a wet one, early rain mixed with snow that's turned now entirely to snow. Humid, heavy air with a lot of weight to it, despite the cold.

An no change for the better to speak of. Tomorrow, we have to cancel Wings's dental surgery yet again. Cancel this time, not postpone, because I have no idea when we're going to be able to scrape together what it will take to do this, and we can't keep setting appointments and canceling them the day before. We've got to make some sales; I've got to get this done, so that he can get this done. I can 't even keep the tools of my trade going.

Meanwhile, I'm reduced still to trying to get work done with a torn ankle and subluxed hips and knees, and now two barely functional hands, and a laptop that continues to deteriorate by the day (a camera, too, and both are essential for our work — not just mine, but his). I'm also trying to plan for all the expenses of winter to come. The Pueblo closure is slated to last two full months this time, so it will be worse than usual. In that period of time, there will be taxes to pay, his scrip to keep refilling, his dental work to try somehow to get done, and forget about my own follow-up tests, to say nothing of plumbing/wall repairs or all the work still unfinished on the house; I'm scrapping everything, because we can't afford it. Yes, I'm due for follow-up scans and biopsies already, and they're not going to happen, because we don't have five figures' worth of scratch to waste on it. I've still got to make sales, try to drum up new Patreon subscribers, do whatever I can to bring in more money, all on top of everything else. Folks can help in several ways (sales are always preferred):

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Wishlist here;
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

Please share everything. Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Red Willow Spirit: The Winding Blue Waves of Promise

Photo copyright Wings, 2020;
all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's an edition of Red Willow Spirit for the constancy and change of earth and season, life and time. It's a trio of images and a pair of works showing the truths of transformation, delivered by way of a journey along the winding blue waves of promise.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, his photos are available in any of the usual three formats; to order them or the silverwork shown, simply inquire via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (with an unusually huge cluster of bills for January alone, and two new and enormous health-related costs for Wings, including an appointment we now have to cancel again this week), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Right now, things look bleak.

Photo copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved.

Last night. Supposedly, the snow hits tonight, and stays through tomorrow night. I'm guessing it won't show until tomorrow, and it won't be much when it does get here.

Right now, things look bleak.

Part of it's a reaction to everything going on in the outside world. We bear this burden daily, and seeing how the dominant culture reacts to having, suddenly, to shoulder a fraction of the load is . . . dispiriting, to say the least. Part of it is a reaction to a couple of things cropping up again from childhood, memories triggered by, and past circumstances that enabled, the drastic physical pain I'm dealing with now. It's disheartening when you know it's never going to get better, only worse. It's enraging when you could have had at least a slightly different outcome, but those ostensibly charged with caring what happened to you . . . didn't. And yesterday I had an epiphany as to why that was, and while I understand the stresses involved, I'm having a hard time forgiving the fact that I was the thing that was always disposable.

And now, we have to cancel Wings's dental surgery yet again.

Meanwhile, I'm reduced still to trying to get work done with a torn ankle and subluxed hips and knees, and now two barely functional hands, and a laptop that continues to deteriorate by the day (a camera, too, and both are essential for our work — not just mine, but his). I'm also trying to plan for all the expenses of winter to come. The Pueblo closure is slated to last two full months this time, so it will be worse than usual. In that period of time, there will be taxes to pay, his scrip to keep refilling, his dental work to try somehow to get done, and forget about my own follow-up tests, to say nothing of plumbing/wall repairs or all the work still unfinished on the house; I'm scrapping everything, because we can't afford it. Yes, I'm due for follow-up scans and biopsies already, and they're not going to happen, because we don't have five figures' worth of scratch to waste on it. I've still got to make sales, try to drum up new Patreon subscribers, do whatever I can to bring in more money, all on top of everything else. Folks can help in several ways (sales are always preferred):

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Wishlist here;
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

Please share everything. Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Monday Photo Meditation: Flowing Like a Prayer

Photo copyright Wings, 2020;
all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a photo meditation for a Monday now past the midpoint of winter. It's a contemplation, too, of the elemental gift that will matter most throughout the year to come: water, flowing like a prayer, as we likewise pray for its existence.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, Wings's photos are available in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (with an unusually huge cluster of bills for January alone, and two new and enormous health-related costs for Wings, including an appointment we now have to cancel again this week), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

A harbinger for the week.

Photo copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved.

What it looked like here yesterday. Much grayer today, presumably in anticipation of the next snowstorm, currently forecast for Tuesday.

It's been a day already, and it's starting to look like a harbinger for the week. The horses got out this morning (don't ask, and no, it wasn't me), and I've since learned (like there was any doubt) that my body is no longer equipped for chasing two half-ton animals through a foot of snow. Facebook has just today decided to "limit" our access to their site WRT posting the links from our site, as we've done every single day for well over a decade now. (Ignore the stupid message and click on the link; it takes you the same place it's always taken you, it just doesn't show you the piece's photo anymore.) 

And while I thought maybe a I had a workaround, it looks like we're going to have to cancel Wings's dental appointment for this week yet again.

It is cold, though, and it's aggravating all of my joint issues to a not-insignificant degree. I'm reduced still to trying to get work done with a torn ankle and subluxed hips and knees, and now two barely functional hands, and a laptop that continues to deteriorate by the day (a camera, too, and both are essential for our work — not just mine, but his). I'm also trying to plan for all the expenses of winter to come. The Pueblo closure is slated to last two full months this time, so it will be worse than usual. In that period of time, there will be taxes to pay, his scrip to keep refilling, his dental work to try somehow to get done, and forget about my own follow-up tests, to say nothing of plumbing/wall repairs or all the work still unfinished on the house; I'm scrapping everything, because we can't afford it. I've still got to make sales, try to drum up new Patreon subscribers, do whatever I can to bring in more scratch, all on top of everything else. Folks can help in several ways (sales are always preferred):

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Wishlist here;
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

Please share everything. Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.