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| Photo copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. |
Dark days for me lately; I feel like I spend every day praying, hoping to catch the light. A little sleep last night, although nowhere near enough. It's swamping me now, and it's going to be a while before I can claw my way out of this one. The sheer amount of pain, combined with the breathing problems that are just going to keep getting worse, are going to keep me down in this hole for a while.
Everything's late today because of the tasks we had to take care of this morning. Among them, one bit of very, very good news, and one not good at all. This morning, we met with the dentist to restart this process on Wings's oral surgeries (and to the person making this possible, I will never be able to thank you enough; I have wept with relief so many times). We sat down with the dentist herself today to go over what's involved with a diabetic patient, what anesthesia/antibiotics/pain meds/etc., he can take and which ones he can't, and what I need to know with regard to his recovery process, both short- and long-term, and what that means for his diet, etc. This will be at least a four-month process, but the good news is that after the first two weeks, when his diet will be mostly soft foods, he'll be able to eat mostly normally. He just can't use his molars, because there will be implant posts there and we don't want to disrupt the integration process. It's scheduled for next Wednesday, and it'll be about a four-hour procedure, so good thoughts then will be welcome.
The bad news is that there will be no CF oxygen concentrator for me. I wondered earlier at the enormous discrepancy in pricing, because most of them, even the lightweight ones, start at $3,500 and go up from there. That's TEN TIMES what the one I was going to get through Amazon cost. Welp, apparently there's a reason for that, and it makes me think that the cheap one either wouldn't have lasted or simply wouldn't have worked from jump. The continuous-flow machines apparently need a larger, more complex motor to handle the load. The very cheapest one the local place can get is more than $3,500. So I'm SOL on the sleep-and-function thing for a good long while yet. The portable pulse one that I have isn't doing the job, and there's no way I can afford this, which means that the insomnia and pain and breathing problems . . . well, this is the way it's going to be, so I'd better get used to it. Which means, essentially, abandoning hope and just dealing with what is, as bad as it is.
And there are bills to pay and expenses to cover, and I paid the next round (three separate ones) yesterday, for a total of about $720, so I need to make enough sales this week to cover that. It would be nice to cover the $500 or so we paid out the last couple of weeks on groceries and animal feed and supplies and stuff for Wings's work, too. The three new pieces are up now, collectively, in today's feature post. There might also be another three, because he wanted to get through two sets this weekend, but I haven't had to chance to trawl through his bead inventory and lay out the ones for the next concept he has in mind; maybe today or tomorrow. Either way, look for some new, moderately priced informal sets (necklace, earrings, coil bracelet) to appear in the next day or two.
Meanwhile, not much is changing on the pain front for me. I'm at an end for the moment, and with the spring winds apparently nearly here, it's only get to worse (much, MUCH worse). The pain and the breathing problems these last two or three weeks have buried me. About two weeks ago, I had the first really terrifying episode I've had in while, since switching up my meds and getting the ibruprofen entirely out of my system. I've had a number of smaller ones since, and it's probably mostly down to the asthma, but nothing's working. The headache is rooted in equal parts pollen and pred, and nothing's working. January was, quite frankly, a hell month, and this one is shaping up to be much like it. In the meantime, I have to navigate the weather and pain and expense and find a way to bring in income. There's a lot of year ahead of us, and we have to make steady sales.
Also unfortunately, I'm still reduced to trying to get work done with a torn ankle and subluxed forearm, hips, and knees, and now two barely functional hands, and a laptop that continues to deteriorate by the day (a camera, too, and both are essential for our work — not just mine, but his). The pain is . . . very bad these days. It's not a function of weather or cold, mostly, but of deterioration. In desperation, I've added one last supplement, a costly one, in hopes of getting it to ease off even a little; I won't know if it's going to work for at least a month yet. I'm also trying to plan for all the expenses of winter to come. The Pueblo closure started two weeks ago, and as I said above, is slated to last two full months this time, so it will be worse than usual. In that period of time, there will be taxes to pay, his scrip to keep refilling, his dental work to try somehow to get done, and forget about my own follow-up tests, to say nothing of plumbing/wall repairs or all the work still unfinished on the house; I'm scrapping everything, because we can't afford it. Yes, I'm due for follow-up scans and biopsies already, and they're not going to happen, because we don't have five figures' worth of scratch to waste on it. I've still got to make sales, try to drum up new Patreon subscribers, do whatever I can to bring in more money, all on top of everything else. Folks can help in several ways (sales are always preferred). Oh, and I posted four new works a week or so ago, here and here, and I added something new, seasonal, and absolutely fabulous a few days later, so please share the links (also, BUY! they're all perfect for spring, Easter, upcoming festivities of any kind):
Please share everything. Thanks.
All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.
