Trying to make it rain.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

Enough rain, and chilly enough temps, for it to stay visible on the grass for a good long while.

It's all very welcome, but I'm constantly trying to make it rain in the other sense of the word, and having no luck no matter how much labor I put into it. We are wiped out now, thanks to all the medical bills and tests and of course the taxes, and the year's only 1/3 over. I still have $30K in hospital balances due, and I can't even begin to think about all the testing that remains to be done; they've only scratched the surface.

Yeah, I'm scared. I'm scared all the time, I have no idea what's still ahead, much less how to pay for it. Thanks to the new tax law changes, our sales are way down, and I have no idea how we're going to pay the $30K still due. The bill collectors will not let me forget it, certainly. Meanwhile, this is going to be a terrible weekend; today and tomorrow are both awful markers, and they're coming on top of three very straightforward, highly visible, very public erasures over the last week or so. It's hard to keep going when you're reminded daily just how badly people want to force invisibility, failure, and destitution on you, but here we are. And I keep going anyway, because what alternative is there?

Here are the links, because I have to bring in this full $30K somehow, and now:

• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until June 1st for May);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, the big one being the fly spray;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

I'm ecstatic to be able to forget, at least for now, about my thyroid (yes, there's still some swelling and so forth, but it's not nearly as noticeable as after the first botched biopsy). Now I have to work on the asthma/respiratory and autoimmune stuff. And most of all, I need to pay off these bills. That will go further than just about anything right now to allowing me to breathe again. Wings dropped two new works two days ago, in addition to the new cuff and two new pairs of earrings that I posted here a couple of days before that. Please share the links around, offer recommendations and testimonials, consider purchases, and help me be able to breathe, literally.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.