Soul-killing stress.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

Raven and KitFox lying side by side in companionable silence yesterday evening. When we're around, Raven's still aggressive with Kit, making sure he knows his place for the benefit of the alphas (i.e., us), but when they're alone, they're buddies. I'm still astonished at the level of support Kit and Cricket give him; so often, ferals are the first to try to cull the herd/thin the pack (case in point: Raven himself in years past), but they hang out with him, want him around, beg him to join them when they want to chase or follow something, just generally show him something that looks very much like love.

He's sleeping more hours out of the day; most of them, now, actually. But when he's awake, he's still engaged, still has an appetite, still loves his treats and his bones and being with us. It's a lot of work, but as long as he wants to fight for every bit of joy he can wring out of life (and can do so without pain), we're willing to help him do it. It's hard, though; my heart breaks a little bit more every day.

Still not adjusted to the new meds; still in a tremendous amount of physical pain myself and just generally feeling like shit. So far, the new med and the rescue inhaler don't work nearly as well for me as the old inhaler did I(and I'm having to use the rescue inhaler every day, with frankly only a small margin of improvement), and I'm just so tired all the time for the effort to breathe. I'm not getting much done, including writing; so much behind that wall of fatigue in my head, and not enough energy or focus to be able to get it down.

And there's always, always, the constant soul-killing stress of the medical bills. I still have to pay off the balances on those hospital bills: $30K, and it's getting really, really urgent. Everything I do is going to be geared toward that until they're gone. We need to make some good sales, steadily, if we're going to do this. On the current push, I've raised $217 toward that goal (and thank you to the two folks who made that possible). I've got a lot more work that I have to get done both on- and offline yet, too, and nothing left in reserve, so here are the links, because I have to bring in this full $30K somehow, and now:

• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until June 1st for May);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, the big one being the fly spray;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

I'm ecstatic to be able to forget, at least for now, about my thyroid (yes, there's still some swelling and so forth, but it's not nearly as noticeable as after the first botched biopsy). Now I have to work on the asthma/respiratory and autoimmune stuff. And most of all, I need to pay off these bills. That will go further than just about anything right now to allowing me to breathe again. Wings has new work coming out over the next couple of days, including earrings and cuffs. Please share the links around, offer recommendations and testimonials, consider purchases, and help me be able to breathe, literally.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.