Thursday, December 14, 2017

Tree has moved, but is not up. Exhaustion and depression rule now. Holiday sales are WAY down; sales/shares badly needed.

Photo copyright Aji, 2017; all rights reserved.
No, it's not still on the truck bed; it's now on the deck. Still haven't had time to get it up. I don't actually have words to make people understand how slow I am now, or how difficult it is to get even minimal things done. I can't make people see the sheer disabling exhaustion, or the emotional lability, or the fact that having the cannula fall out of my nose during sleep sets me up for an impending episode, destroys the rest of my sleep, and makes daytime function nearly impossible. The only thing I wanted was to be able to enjoy Christmas in our home, and I can't even do the most basic stuff. The CPAP arrived late, just before full dark, and I'm so wiped out I can't even think about trying to figure out how to set it up tonight, so tonight will be the O2 off the rented concentrator again. I'm so tired, and all my energy is directed right now to keeping from losing it entirely, because there is literally not one thing I can do about this, and the answers the hospital should have sought over a month ago are not remotely near at this point.

Yes, I'm depressed. No, there's nothing anyone can do about it. It'll pass. Or not, if they don't find this and fix it.

Sales are way, WAY off this season. This is what usually gets us through the next four to six months, the holiday sales, and they're way down. Part of it is the mess that is our so-called government, with the fraud at the alleged top and the great swath of destruction he and his minions are carving through the country. Part of it is that that hedge-fund jackass built that stupid lift on the peak and blasted the mountain with explosives, and the spirits are now thoroughly pissed, and there is NO snow, so there is no tourism, either. I have no idea how we'll meet even minimal expenses, much less how we'll help our friend get down to her cancer treatment appointments. We couldn't do it this week, and her truck remains without a clutch. Forget what remains to be done on the house for now. We need to make some sales. A lot of them. But sales are not just what's going to keep me alive and Wings healthy; it's going to help other folks, too. Given the circumstances, I'm leaving up the donation link, too, and the registries have some new items on then, mostly lower-priced, to replace stuff damaged by the RV or given away when we first moved into it seven years ago. So please share our links:
  • Wings's direct PayPal link;
  • Wings's site, for sales;
  • Wayfair gift cards, to replenish all the furnishings that the RV has destroyed in one way or another.
  • Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
  • Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. Still waiting for them to resolve this fulfillment/shipping problem they have with their site. Even so, I've added some things (kitchen/dining room stuff mostly), most of which are comparatively reasonably priced. Now, it's going to be mostly odds and ends that make this place more liveable, because of the sheer volume of stuff destroyed by too many years in the RV (e.g., by the oven and stovetop, by the wiring, by the water, by the mold, etc.), or that we simply gave away seven years ago because we had no room and no place to put them and despaired of ever being able to use them again. A CHANGE ABOUT WAYFAIR:  NO MORE CROWDFUNDING. Their Web site coding is bad, and it will not permit crowdfunded items to ship. Items purchased outright arrive in two business days, but you can't even get the others out of the warehouse. I've spent the last month fighting with them about shipping the dozen or so things that folks fulfilled, and today's message was finally terse enough that they did the manual override, four whole weeks later, that I knew they could do but simply weren't bothering. But I'll be removing all the crowdfunding options. I'm supposed to keep my blood pressure down these days.
As I've also been saying, I am still catching up, and will be now for a while. But this is the holiday season, and the sales/commissions from these few weeks are what keep us alive throughout the whole long winter and spring months (to say nothing of what's in the offing medically), so please continue to share the links. And please refer folks to Wings's site (and if you have an endorsement, too, so much the better). I'll be trying, slowly but, I hope, steadily, to get caught up over the course of this week. We have some massive expenses coming down the pike, and a lot of testing yet to be done before I'm out of the woods. So please keep sharing all our links. For now, I'm just so damn grateful to be alive, to have a healthy heart, to be back home with the love of my life and our dogs, the whole world is beautiful, even in spite of my terrible depression. Thanks again, to everybody, and we love you all.





All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2017; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

#ThrowbackThursday: Braiding Earth and Sky

Photo copyright Wings, 2017; all rights reserved.

It's #TBT at The NDN Silver Blog, with a piece from a decade or more ago that summoned the spirit of Mother Earth herself. It was a complex, compound work, one that embodied the world's body and its myriad organic spirits, braiding earth and sky together.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. This piece sold many years ago, of course, but if the style speaks to your spirit, simply inquire via the site's Contact form; Wings can create a version uniquely your own. And, as always, sales are very much needed (especially now, with sales way, way down and expenses now way, way up), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2017; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.


Wednesday, December 13, 2017

A little holiday spirit, maybe. Sales/shares still very badly needed.

Photo copyright Aji, 2017; all rights reserved.

Better today, in terms of my frame of mind. No, nothing's changed on the health front. Not a peep out of Amazon on the concentrator, so we went into town and renewed the rental on this one for the rest of the month. At least the CPAP folks are prompt; it's currently at the ABQ sorting center, and will be here sometime tomorrow.

I wiped myself out with errands, since I have no way to take the O2 with me. But one wonderful thing we got done is that up there. We went looking for one late today in a special place; Wings found the perfect one, he cut it, and we brought it home. Tomorrow, hopefully, we'll get it up into the stand so its branches can rest, and then we'll decorate slowly over the next few days. We haven't had a real tree in . . . well, ever, so this is a gift. 

Still, I have no idea how we'll meet even minimal expenses, much less how we'll help our friend get down to her cancer treatment appointments. Forget what remains to be done on the house for now. We need to make some sales. A lot of them. Sales are way off this year, in part due to the  terrible weather (terrible here being 60 with no snow), and in part due to the terrible situation in D.C. But sales are not just what's going to keep me alive and Wings healthy; it's going to help other folks, too. Given the circumstances, I'm leaving up the donation link, too, and the registries have some new items on then, mostly lower-priced, to replace stuff damaged by the RV or given away when we first moved into it seven years ago. So please share our links:
  • Wings's direct PayPal link;
  • Wings's site, for sales;
  • Wayfair gift cards, to replenish all the furnishings that the RV has destroyed in one way or another.
  • Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
  • Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. Still waiting for them to resolve this fulfillment/shipping problem they have with their site. Even so, I've added some things (kitchen/dining room stuff mostly), most of which are comparatively reasonably priced. Now, it's going to be mostly odds and ends that make this place more liveable, because of the sheer volume of stuff destroyed by too many years in the RV (e.g., by the oven and stovetop, by the wiring, by the water, by the mold, etc.), or that we simply gave away seven years ago because we had no room and no place to put them and despaired of ever being able to use them again. A CHANGE ABOUT WAYFAIR:  NO MORE CROWDFUNDING. Their Web site coding is bad, and it will not permit crowdfunded items to ship. Items purchased outright arrive in two business days, but you can't even get the others out of the warehouse. I've spent the last month fighting with them about shipping the dozen or so things that folks fulfilled, and today's message was finally terse enough that they did the manual override, four whole weeks later, that I knew they could do but simply weren't bothering. But I'll be removing all the crowdfunding options. I'm supposed to keep my blood pressure down these days.
As I've also been saying, I am still catching up, and will be now for a while. But this is the holiday season, and the sales/commissions from these few weeks are what keep us alive throughout the whole long winter and spring months (to say nothing of what's in the offing medically), so please continue to share the links. And please refer folks to Wings's site (and if you have an endorsement, too, so much the better). I'll be trying, slowly but, I hope, steadily, to get caught up over the course of this week. We have some massive expenses coming down the pike, and a lot of testing yet to be done before I'm out of the woods. So please keep sharing all our links. For now, I'm just so damn grateful to be alive, to have a healthy heart, to be back home with the love of my life and our dogs, the whole world is beautiful, even in spite of my terrible depression. Thanks again, to everybody, and we love you all.





All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2017; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

The Shape of Our Dreams

Photo copyright Aji, 2017; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a work of physical and spiritual armor for dream warriors. In our way, the shape of our dreams gives form and structure to our world, and it is time for us all to dream as warriors on the earth's behalf.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And as always, sales are very much needed (especially now), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2017; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.


Tuesday, December 12, 2017

First of the farolitos. Really disheartened tonight for a lot of reasons. Sales/shares badly needed.

Photo copyright Aji, 2017; all rights reserved.

Wings got a start on holiday decorating today with the farolitos. They're only on the one side so far; front and west sides tomorrow.

Not feeling especially holiday-ish tonight. It'll pass, but right now, I'm struggling with fear and depression and anger and the knowledge that if any of the damned docs on the 10th had just LISTENED to me, we'd have had the bloodwork results a month ago, and I might not being having to worry about dying in my sleep every single night (or even in the daytime) now. I don't actually feel well at any moment of the day or night, and Amazon effing up the concentrator delivery has kept me housebound waiting for it with no word from the seller or the shipper. The bills keep pouring in (just shy of $17K, and they're not done yet), and yet I have no more of a way forward than I did on November 10th. I'll have to renew the rental tomorrow, and a portable one is, at $3-4K, simply out of reach. How we're going to ensure Darla gets to her own appointments for her cancer treatment I have no idea; the money's not there. I am just really feeling awful physically tonight, and very disheartened, too. It'll pass, so just ignore it, but PLEASE share the links below.

We need to make some sales. A lot of them. Sales are way off this year, in part due to the  terrible weather (terrible here being 60 with no snow), and in part due to the terrible situation in D.C. But sales are not just what's going to keep me alive and Wings healthy; it's going to help other folks, too. Given the circumstances, I'm leaving up the donation link, too, and the registries have some new items on then, mostly lower-priced, to replace stuff damaged by the RV or given away when we first moved into it seven years ago. So please share our links:
  • Wings's direct PayPal link;
  • Wings's site, for sales;
  • Wayfair gift cards, to replenish all the furnishings that the RV has destroyed in one way or another.
  • Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
  • Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. Still waiting for them to resolve this fulfillment/shipping problem they have with their site. Even so, I've added some things (kitchen/dining room stuff mostly), most of which are comparatively reasonably priced. Now, it's going to be mostly odds and ends that make this place more liveable, because of the sheer volume of stuff destroyed by too many years in the RV (e.g., by the oven and stovetop, by the wiring, by the water, by the mold, etc.), or that we simply gave away seven years ago because we had no room and no place to put them and despaired of ever being able to use them again. A CHANGE ABOUT WAYFAIR:  NO MORE CROWDFUNDING. Their Web site coding is bad, and it will not permit crowdfunded items to ship. Items purchased outright arrive in two business days, but you can't even get the others out of the warehouse. I've spent the last month fighting with them about shipping the dozen or so things that folks fulfilled, and today's message was finally terse enough that they did the manual override, four whole weeks later, that I knew they could do but simply weren't bothering. But I'll be removing all the crowdfunding options. I'm supposed to keep my blood pressure down these days.
As I've also been saying, I am still catching up, and will be now for a while. But this is the holiday season, and the sales/commissions from these few weeks are what keep us alive throughout the whole long winter and spring months (to say nothing of what's in the offing medically), so please continue to share the links. And please refer folks to Wings's site (and if you have an endorsement, too, so much the better). I'll be trying, slowly but, I hope, steadily, to get caught up over the course of this week. We have some massive expenses coming down the pike, and a lot of testing yet to be done before I'm out of the woods. So please keep sharing all our links. For now, I'm just so damn grateful to be alive, to have a healthy heart, to be back home with the love of my life and our dogs, the whole world is beautiful, even in spite of my terrible depression. Thanks again, to everybody, and we love you all.





All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2017; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Red Willow Spirit: What Holds the World Together

Photo copyright Wings, 2017; all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's this week's edition of Red Willow Spirit, with a look at the body and breath, blood and bone, of our Mother Earth. It's also a reminder of a lesson that most of her population has long forgotten, that we are as a much a part of her as she is of us, and we are likewise part of what holds the world together.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. It's all photos today, and as always with Wings's work, they're available for purchase in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. Also as always, sales are very much needed (especially now), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2017; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.


Monday, December 11, 2017

Exhaustion. Expenses. A lot of bloodwork, and now we wait. Sales/shares/registries (especially sales) needed.

Photo copyright Aji, 2017; all rights reserved.

Yeah, not a good shot, but the ottoman's where it belongs in our bedroom now. The armoire is assembled and moved into the guest room, too. Marcos is paid for his work last week and in advance for his work through Wednesday this week, so he'll have some extra scratch for his family for the holidays.  

The fatigue has set in for both of us now. For me, it's this ongoing . . . whatever the hell it is. The last two months were mostly sleepless, with another episode threatening around the edges. Might turn out to have been nothing more than a slight crimp in the other end of the cannula; might not. For Wings, it's all the pressure and pace of the last month catching up to him, trying to do all of his usual and take care of me, too. And then this morning we had to be up and out the door early for my bloodwork (fasting, so no coffee, and I still have a headache from that and the lack of food); they drew five vials for eight separate multi-item panels. Fingers crossed that something shows up — something that can be, you know, fixed. A month and a day, and still no answers, and don't think it's not scary, because it's terrifying. And now I wait, and wait some more, until we know what they say; they expect the first results probably by Friday, but the remainder sometime next week, most likely. It's going to be a very, very long week, and right now, the thing I feel most is a numbing, blinding, beyond-bone-deep exhaustion.

For now, we need to make some sales. A lot of them. It's not just keeping me alive and Wings healthy; it's helping other folks, too. Given the circumstances, I'm leaving up the donation link, too, and the registries have some new items on then, mostly lower-priced, to replace stuff damaged by the RV or given away when we first moved into it seven years ago. So please share our links:
  • Wings's direct PayPal link;
  • Wings's site, for sales;
  • Wayfair gift cards, to replenish all the furnishings that the RV has destroyed in one way or another.
  • Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
  • Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. Still waiting for them to resolve this fulfillment/shipping problem they have with their site. Even so, I've added some things (kitchen/dining room stuff mostly), most of which are comparatively reasonably priced. Now, it's going to be mostly odds and ends that make this place more liveable, because of the sheer volume of stuff destroyed by too many years in the RV (e.g., by the oven and stovetop, by the wiring, by the water, by the mold, etc.), or that we simply gave away seven years ago because we had no room and no place to put them and despaired of ever being able to use them again. A CHANGE ABOUT WAYFAIR:  NO MORE CROWDFUNDING. Their Web site coding is bad, and it will not permit crowdfunded items to ship. Items purchased outright arrive in two business days, but you can't even get the others out of the warehouse. I've spent the last month fighting with them about shipping the dozen or so things that folks fulfilled, and today's message was finally terse enough that they did the manual override, four whole weeks later, that I knew they could do but simply weren't bothering. But I'll be removing all the crowdfunding options. I'm supposed to keep my blood pressure down these days.
As I've also been saying, I am still catching up, and will be now for a while. But this is the holiday season, and the sales/commissions from these few weeks are what keep us alive throughout the whole long winter and spring months (to say nothing of what's in the offing medically), so please continue to share the links. And please refer folks to Wings's site (and if you have an endorsement, too, so much the better). I'll be trying, slowly but, I hope, steadily, to get caught up over the course of this week. We have some massive expenses coming down the pike, and a lot of testing yet to be done before I'm out of the woods. So please keep sharing all our links. For now, I'm just so damn grateful to be alive, to have a healthy heart, to be back home with the love of my life and our dogs, the whole world is beautiful. Thanks again, to everybody, and we love you all.





All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2017; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.