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| Photo copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. |
Yesterday was physically grueling, between the wind and the cold and the exhaustion we're both fighting. But my girl heard my voice and came to greet me overhead, and shortly thereafter we got the good news about Ona. Then the end of the day gave us an old friend returned: the one up there. I saw it from a distance as I was coming back from evening chores to head indoors for the night. It was perched by itself in a place where the colonizing starlings usually sit at that time of day, but even from a distance, it didn't look quite right to me for that. It didn't look quite right for an ordinary blackbird, either, though. So I snapped the shot and went indoors, and it was only when I uploaded the photos that I realized that, for the first time a few years, we have a brown-headed cowbird back for an early spring.
I'm taking his appearance as a good omen, because I have to hang onto something in these harsh, physically miserable days.
The rest is going to be mostly cut-and-paste, because I am now way, WAY behind on this day (and the week, and the month, and and and), and I'm going to be really slammed all week long (for the next two to three weeks, actually, at the very least), but there are a few newer things scattered through it, too. I posted the new informal series yesterday; you can find all three works here. [If you like rainbows, this set's for you.] In the meantime, this is going to be a rough couple of weeks for him, because of what's ahead and what he's dealing with in other contexts, and rough for me, both because of what's ahead and my own health issues, chronic and current, being complicated further by lack of sleep. Expect to see me only when you see me, and maybe don't expect me to make a lot of sense, because the exhaustion is really taking over my brain.
Oh, and one other thing: I'm adding the Amazon wishlist back on. ::Sigh:: we really can't function without it now; they've made themselves that indispensable, especially for folks who live in poor rural areas like we do. And I'm really, really going need to get some things that I can't get here, and soon (the kinds of things Amazon cards are useful for). I'm also going to need to add a new coffeemaker, because while I can baby this one along a while longer (it's broken in three different ways, but I can still use it, even if not easily so), the one I want to replace it is one I cannot bring myself to justify buying because of the cost. Coffee is our one real luxury, but it's too big a chunk at once, and we have medical stuff to deal with, and folks who need help besides. [And today, the coffeemaker decided to perform a new [and utterly undesired] trick, so I don't know how much longer it's going to keep going, pampering it or not. Which means, hideously expensive or not, I'm putting the coffeemaker and a grinder on the wishlist. Like I said, this is our one real luxury that we allow ourselves, and we like it to taste right, and both of these items are supposed to be really, really good for that.]
A lot of scrambling now, getting ready for this week. In a year when already there's been SO MUCH to worry about, now I have to get a lot of stuff done over the next two days, and be prepared to pick up the heavy outside chores for a few days thereafter. Some of the reasons are good: For those who missed it, the [very, very] good news is that Wings is going to be able to get his oral surgeries handled, thanks to someone very dear to us both. That process begins next week.
The bad news is that there will be no CF oxygen concentrator for me. [The other bad news is that the thyroid tumors are narrowing my throat internally now, making swallowing more difficult, but that's for another day.] I wondered earlier at the enormous discrepancy in pricing on the concentrators, because most of them, even the lightweight ones, start at $3,500+ and go up from there. That's TEN TIMES what the one I was going to get through Amazon cost. Welp, apparently there's a reason for that, and it makes me think that the cheap one either wouldn't have lasted or simply wouldn't have worked from jump. The continuous-flow machines apparently need a larger, more complex motor to handle the load. The very cheapest one the local place can get is more than $3,500. So I'm SOL on the sleep-and-function thing for a good long while yet. The portable pulse one that I have isn't doing the job, and there's no way I can afford this, which means that the insomnia and pain and breathing problems . . . well, this is the way it's going to be, so I'd better get used to it. Which means, essentially, abandoning hope and just dealing with what is, as bad as it is. In the latter half of next week, I'm going to have to pick up Wings's share of the workload while he's recovering, and so my days are about to get a whole lot more fraught. Breathing is difficult enough for me at the best of times, so expect to see me only when you see me (and don't expect me to have enough resources to keep up with social conventions, because I can tell you right now that I won't).
And there are bills to pay and expenses to cover, and I paid the next round (three separate ones) two days ago, for a total of about $720, so I need to make enough sales this week to cover that. It would be nice to cover the $500 or so we paid out the last couple of weeks on groceries and animal feed and supplies and stuff for Wings's work, too. The three new pieces are up now, collectively, in today's feature post. There might also be another three, because he wanted to get through two sets this weekend, but I haven't had to chance to trawl through his bead inventory and lay out the ones for the next concept he has in mind; maybe today or tomorrow. Either way, look for some new, moderately priced informal sets (necklace, earrings, coil bracelet) to appear in the next day or two.
Meanwhile, not much is changing on the pain front for me. I'm at an end for the moment, and with the spring winds apparently nearly here, it's only get to worse (much, MUCH worse). The pain and the breathing problems these last two or three weeks have buried me. About two weeks ago, I had the first really terrifying episode I've had in while, since switching up my meds and getting the ibruprofen entirely out of my system. I've had a number of smaller ones since, and it's probably mostly down to the asthma, but nothing's working. The headache is rooted in equal parts pollen and pred, and nothing's working. January was, quite frankly, a hell month, and this one is shaping up to be much like it. In the meantime, I have to navigate the weather and pain and expense and find a way to bring in income. There's a lot of year ahead of us, and we have to make steady sales.
Also unfortunately, I'm still reduced to trying to get work done with a torn ankle and subluxed forearm, hips, and knees, and now two barely functional hands, and a laptop that continues to deteriorate by the day (a camera, too, and both are essential for our work — not just mine, but his). The pain is . . . very bad these days. It's not a function of weather or cold, mostly, but of deterioration. In desperation, I've added one last supplement, a costly one, in hopes of getting it to ease off even a little; I won't know if it's going to work for at least a month yet. I'm also trying to plan for all the expenses of winter to come. The Pueblo closure started three and a half weeks ago, and as I said above, is slated to last two full months this time, so it will be worse than usual. In that period of time, there will be taxes to pay, his scrip to keep refilling, his dental work to try somehow to get done, and forget about my own follow-up tests, to say nothing of plumbing/wall repairs or all the work still unfinished on the house; I'm scrapping everything, because we can't afford it. Yes, I'm due for follow-up scans and biopsies already, and they're not going to happen, because we don't have five figures' worth of scratch to waste on it. I've still got to make sales, try to drum up new Patreon subscribers, do whatever I can to bring in more money, all on top of everything else. Folks can help in several ways (sales are always preferred). Oh, and I posted four new works a week or so ago, here and here, and I added something new, seasonal, and absolutely fabulous a few days later, so please share the links (also, BUY! they're all perfect for spring, Easter, upcoming festivities of any kind):
Please share everything. Thanks.
All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2020; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.
