Ajijaakwe: February 2019

Thursday, February 28, 2019

Last days and looming storms.

It's a week of last days and looming storms. This month has flown by, partly, probably, because it's entailed so many damn trips to Santa Fe for tests, and to the doctor here for follow-up. Last night's looming storm bypassed us entirely, as expected, but a new one is supposed to hit and Saturday and last for three days. That's "storm" as in actual weather, not as in a financial avalanche, although another of those is coming, too.

Wings has his shoulder MRI on Monday, finally. There's no news with regard to my own situation, because the surgeon isn't going to schedule anything until he has the results of the latest bloodwork and can look at everything in context with everything else. The turnaround time on that particular test seems to be pushing a week, so that sets me back even further (although there's still that big question hanging over everything about whether I'll be able to get treatment at all).

As I said yesterday, I'm going to have push sales really hard now, because this is escalating fast, and I'm already in the hole on medical stuff more than $30K again. I'm so tired of being dunned by the people who helped put me here by ignoring this, but here we are. That's adding to all the stress, and I have got to figure out a way to bring in enough to get out from under some of it before it literally kills me. We paid out four figures to the tax man on Friday, and there will be more of that to come. We'll have shelled out about a thousand more by the end of this week, plus the $1,600 for the path bill that I couldn't pay online because they neglected to include my patient number, so now I have to wait for the paper copy. If we have to pay up front for the surgery, there will be no surgery, so for the sake of my own survival, I have to pray that they take me in, do it, and then bill me. Yes, I'm scared. Now is when all those doubts creep in, when you wonder whether all the other symptoms yo've attributed to something else all this time are in fact tied up with this, and if so, what that means for your outlook (or lack of one). And the fear over the prospect of not being able to get the needed surgery would be paralyzing if I didn't spend literally every minute pushing it as far out of mind as possible.

The Pueblo's been closed since the first of the month, and will remain so through most of March. Sales are vanishingly slim, and there's a lot of year ahead of us. We now know that it is cancer, that the costs are going to skyrocket very fast, and that we have no way of paying for it, and neither of us cares; we're doing this. Determination is the word; with Wings's help, I'm going to beat it. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. Even so, all this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a local disabled vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

All we want, to be able to have some confidence in making it through the whole year with whatever they're going to find going wrong in my body, is to make some sales. That's it: sales; nothing else. But I haven't been able to make even that happen, and the stress is telling. Good vibes for Raven are still welcome (he's still hanging with us, and I need him to be safe while we're out). But I could use some, too. We all could also use some help with sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em). Thanks.

#TBT: Cascading Green

It's #ThrowbackThursday at The NDN Silver Blog, with a work from some eight or ten years perfectly suited to this threshold season. It's a pair of earrings manifest as symbols of all encompassing power, a cascading green to renew the world.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (more medical expenses yesterday and today, with some very, very large ones looming fast), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Piling up.

Yesterday evening, when the high had only gotten into the forties. It's currently fifty-four, and the snow is so deep that it's still here on our land, but everywhere else? Slush, dirty water, mud.

Got the labwork this morning that was supposed to happen yesterday. They'd told me not to worry about fasting, and that turned out not to be true, so since I'd already had my coffee, we had to postpone it until today. Cost well over $200 for one blood draw. There's be more tomorrow; Wings is getting injections for his shoulder, and we're waiting for an MRI to be scheduled for him to make sure it's not a torn rotator cuff. On his right shoulder this time, which has the potential to be very, very bad. Everything keeps piling up, like the several feet of snow they cleared off the roofs yesterday.

I may wind up doing a post later to make very clear what I'm dealing with, because I'm already seeing misstatements and inaccuracies everywhere. I may not bother; depends on how I feel. I'm having a tough time today; fasting and dehydration are very, very hard on me at the best of times because I'm hypoglycemic, and with all the added physical pain and breathing difficulties and so forth, this day has been one massive hurdle that I'm not over yet. Lots of extra pain beyond the norm today, too, and I don't now why that it should be unless things are escalating in a way I really don't want to contemplate. (No, don't give me that "psychosomatic" nonsense; this is long-established pain in long-established sites, as in for years, but it's worse today, and I don't know why, given that the weather is better.)

I'm going to have push sales really hard now, because this is escalating fast, and I'm already in the hole on medical stuff more than $30K again. I'm so tired of being dunned by the people who helped put me here by ignoring this, but here we are. That's adding to all the stress, and I have got to figure out a way to bring in enough to get out from under some of it before it literally kills me. We paid out four figures to the tax man on Friday, and there will be more of that to come. We'll have shelled out about a thousand more by the end of this week, plus the $1,600 for the path bill that I couldn't pay online because they neglected to include my patient number, so now I have to wait for the paper copy. If we have to pay up front for the surgery, there will be no surgery, so for the sake of my own survival, I have to pray that they take me in, do it, and then bill me. Yes, I'm scared.

The Pueblo's been closed since the first of the month, and will remain so through most of March. Sales are vanishingly slim, and there's a lot of year ahead of us. We now know that it is cancer, that the costs are going to skyrocket very fast, and that we have no way of paying for it, and neither of us cares; we're doing this. Determination is the word; with Wings's help, I'm going to beat it. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. Even so, all this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a local disabled vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

Rivers of Medicine

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a work squared and paired with the power of the waters and the earth. Today, it's a pair of earrings, boulder and Skystone and the jade of the waters, running together in rivers of medicine.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are much needed (more than $200 just on labs this morning, cash on the barrelhead; more tomorrow for Wings's injections, and tens of thousands looming hard and fast on top of the existing medical bills), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Red Willow Spirit: Running Medicine

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's an edition of Red Willow Spirit for a week in which winter contests with spring. It's a contemplation, too, of gifts and their disguises, and of the value of that singular gift of this threshold season, one of running medicine.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, his photos are available for purchase in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (medical outlays every day this week, including a massive $1,600 one today, and a lot more and larger ones to come), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Coming to an understanding.

I think that right there is what you call "coming to an understanding." Or maybe just "resignation."

Everything will be out of order today. I have to leave in a couple of hours for another blood draw — this time, they're testing for the oversampling of a particular hormone that can fairly definitively label this as medullary thyroid cancer (or not, if it comes back inconclusive, in which case, they may not be able to determine the type until they remove the tumor). I'm going to have a lot to get done in the days to come, so expect me to be more scarce and scattered than usual. I did manage to sleep better last night; for me, knowing, however unexpected or unwelcome, is still better than not knowing.

Thanks to everyone for the good vibes and support last night. I'm going to have push sales really hard now, because this is escalating fast, and I'm already in the hole on medical stuff more than $30K again. We paid out four figures to the tax man on Friday. We have three medical appointments between us this week and we picked up my inhaler refill yesterday. Today, I have to pay the $1,600 to the path. If we have to pay up front for the surgery, there will be no surgery, so for the sake of my own survival, I have to pray that they take me in, do it, and then bill me.

The Pueblo's been closed since the first of the month, and will remain so through most of March. Sales are vanishingly slim, and there's a lot of year ahead of us. We now know that it is cancer, that the costs are going to skyrocket very fast, and that we have no way of paying for it, and neither of us cares; we're doing this. Determination is the word; with Wings's help, I'm going to beat it. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. Even so, all this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a local disabled vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

Monday, February 25, 2019

Quick and dirty.

Quick and dirty, emphasis on dirty. [Also, please note up front: I am not asking for, and do not need, advice. My doctors are handling that.]

There is a 60-70% chance that I have medullary thyroid cancer. The remaining 30-40% seems to be that they cannot determine with specificity exactly what kind of cancer it is (there are four types of thyroid cancer, one with a subtype, and then of course, there's always lymphoma, which can also hit the thyroid.), because the cells from the biopsy were apparently something nobody could read with any confidence level, not the pathologists, not the doc, not the surgeon who'll be handling it, not anyone. [There are also two sizeable masses on different lobes of my liver, but those they don't think are cancerous. We all hope. We don't know what might be lurking beneath that, but the thyroid has to be handled first. Also, no, there's no family history, which is the usual with medullary. No one knows where it came from. As always, I have to be the outlier.]

Provided that I don't have to pay cash up front, this will all move very fast. They want me down at UNM probably next week; waiting to hear from the surgeon's office, but the referral's already been made. He may want another biopsy beforehand; he may just go in and take everything out. If I do have to pay upfront, well, everything comes to a screeching halt, at least until we find a way of raising the scratch. No, I have no idea how much it's going to cost, beyond "EXPENSIVE." I have to pay out that $1,600 for the path analysis tomorrow, on top of the several hundred I've already shelled out today for various things. The only sure thing, at this point, is that the mass does have to come out, and we have to hope there's been no spread over the nearly 16 months that this has been overlooked.

I'm not even going to ask for good vibes; I feel like everything's too far beyond that right now. I'm numb. I don't want to talk much about it; just the logistics are going to be a nightmare. I can't even let myself think about the money right now. Just so everyone knows where we are.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Blocking progress.

That's one of the glaciers that calved off the roof of the hay barn on Saturday. it's all in a big heap at the bottom now, blocking progress.

Story of my life: blocking progress.

I said yesterday that, by the 28th, we would have paid out more than $5K? Little did I know.

I don't have my biospy results yet, but at 7:30 this morning, St. Vincent sent me a bill (do-not-reply, of course, and not so much as a phone number in the e-mail; pay up now, cash on the barrelhead) for just shy of sixteen hundred bucks. This was the bill my doctor estimated would be $200. Because I never take people's estimates as gospel, I had nearly tripled that in my brain to somewhere between five and six hundred. But SIXTEEN HUNDRED? AND I DON'T HAVE THE RESULTS YET? OH, HELL, NO.

We paid out four figures to the tax man on Friday. We have three medical appointments between us this week and my inhaler has to be refilled today. All of that was gonna set us back close to a thousand by itself. And then there's whatever has to be done post-biopsy, and either way, it's going to be ugly. I give up give in, surrender, uncle, whatever. I can't keep this up.

And the worry over money just gets worse seemingly by the day. The Pueblo's been closed since the first of the month, and will remain so through most of March. Sales are vanishingly slim, and there's a lot of year ahead of us. If it is cancer, the costs are going to skyrocket very fast, and we have no way of paying for it, and neither of us cares; we're doing this. Determination is the word; with Wings's help, I'm going to beat whatever it is. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. We need sales. Badly. Selling today's featured work, shown just below, would take care of the biopsy costs. Even so, all this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a local disabled vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

Monday Photo Meditation: A River of Water and Time

Photo copyright Wings, 2019;
all rights reserved.

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a photo meditation for the start of the thaw, that moment when the currents of winter and spring flow together in one elemental cascade. It's a reflection, too, on the challenges ahead in a world that exists in a river of water and time, and both have been too long running out for its good, or ours.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, Wings's photos are available for purchase in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. Also as always, sales are very much needed (my estimate of more than $5K for this month was blown out of the water at 7:30 this morning by a factor of more than a thousand dollars, and there will be much more to come, today and this week and next month), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Sunday, February 24, 2019

Digging out, in more ways than one.

Digging out, in more ways than one.

That's not actually indicative of the depth; the winch on the ATV's not working, and so Wings couldn't actually plow yesterday. All he could do is run the ATV through it, which meant on top of that that had frozen solid and already packed itself down the night before underneath the new stuff from the early hours of yesterday. Even that's well over a foot. Right now he and one of his bros are upstairs clearing the four-foot drifts off the deck (only three feet deep by now, thanks to a lot of really warm direct sunlight). Then they're going to turn to the roofs of all the other structures.

Meanwhile, I'm inside trying, apparently in vain, to make sales. As I said, everything's kicking my ass right now. Still sick, still dealing with all the new (as in 15.5-month-old) health issues on top of all the regular autoimmune crap. Still trying to figure out how to bring in enough extra money not only to dig out from under this avalanche of medical stuff, but also to make it through the whole year. We both have doctor's appointments tomorrow; I have another one later in the week, plus a very expensive scrip to pick up tomorrow and two other massive medical bills that will have to be paid this week. We paid out four figures to the tax man on Friday. On top of that, this month, on the medical front? Is gonna have set us back over $5 grand (I had forgotten yesterday about some more of the medical stuff that I have to take care of next week). All cash outlay. We both have medical appointments and my inhaler has to be refilled this coming week, and I'm still waiting for the path bill. And then there's whatever has to be done post-biopsy, and either way, it's going to be ugly. And I still know nothing about what it is. The doc never got the path report, so I'm stuck waiting. I had my implosion last night; now I'm just numb. Four-foot drifts and four-figure expenses, indeed.

And the worry over money just gets worse seemingly by the day. The Pueblo's been closed since the first of the month, and will remain so through most of March. Sales are vanishingly slim, and there's a lot of year ahead of us. If it is cancer, the costs are going to skyrocket very fast, and we have no way of paying for it, and neither of us cares; we're doing this. Determination is the word; with Wings's help, I'm going to beat whatever it is. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. We need sales. Badly. Selling today's featured work, shown just below, would take care of the biopsy costs. Even so, all this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a local disabled vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

A Time For Abundance

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's one of Wings's more recent works, and a personal favorite of mine both for its unique style and spirit and for the symbolism infused in it. It's one of the spirits of the waters, here to remind us that even in these waning days of winter, this is a time for abundance.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (taxes and medical outlays by the end of this month will have set us back more than $5K), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Four-foot drifts, and four-figure expenses.

That's the view outside my office door right now. It's drifted up to the four-foot mark on the right (and in plenty of other places all over here). The town of Taos apparently only got six inches; we topped out at I think 23 inches, with, as I said, drifts of 4' in lots of places. The dogs and horses are having a blast, but this is a bit much to dig out from under today, given what the wind is now doing.

Everything's kicking my ass right now. We paid out four figures to the tax man yesterday. On top of that, this month, on the medical front? Is gonna have set us back over $5 grand (I had forgotten yesterday about some more of the medical stuff that I have to take care of next week). All cash outlay. We both have medical appointments and my inhaler has to be refilled this coming week, and I'm still waiting for the path bill. And then there's whatever has to be done post-biopsy, and either way, it's going to be ugly. And I still know nothing about what it is. The doc never got the path report, so I'm stuck waiting. I had my implosion last night; now I'm just numb. Four-foot drifts and four-figure expenses, indeed.

And the worry over money just gets worse seemingly by the day. The Pueblo's been closed since the first of the month, and will remain so through most of March. Sales are vanishingly slim, and there's a lot of year ahead of us. If it is cancer, the costs are going to skyrocket very fast, and we have no way of paying for it, and neither of us cares; we're doing this. Determination is the word; with Wings's help, I'm going to beat whatever it is. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. We need sales. Badly. Selling today's featured work, shown just below, would take care of the biopsy costs. Even so, all this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a local disabled vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

The Dust of a Dangerous Season

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a pair of earrings radiating silver light around the molten cores of fiery bronze suns. On this day, with nearly two feet on the ground, drifts double that in places, and a nascent noonday sun refracting through the ice crystals in the air, they are the winter version of summer's dirt and smoke magic, the dust of a dangerous season.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (by the end of the month, taxes and the constant barrage of medical testing and appointments will have soaked us for more than $5K already), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Friday, February 22, 2019

The trickster wind runs everything.

Yesterday may have been red sky at morning, but so far all we've gotten out of it are a coyote wind and trees budding too soon. The air is bitter today, thanks to those winds the forecast did not predict, even though this morning they've been full of projections for up to a foot of snow by tomorrow morning. None yet, and we'll believe it when we see it.

The trickster wind runs everything, though. No path report yet — apparently, they haven't even gotten it my doctor yet — and so it appears that I not only will have to endure the weekend without knowing the biopsy results, I may not have any answers by the time of my follow-up on Monday.

Speaking of which, the outlays are kicking our collective ass. I paid out four figures to the tax man today. On top of that, this month, on the medical front? Is gonna have set us back around $4,500. All cash outlay. Nearly a grand of that this week; another bunch that will be more than that between now and next week, since we both have medical appointments and my inhaler has to be refilled and I'm still waiting for the path bill. And then there's whatever has to be done post-biopsy, and either way, it's going to be ugly.

So the worry over money just gets worse seemingly by the day. The Pueblo's been closed since the first of the month, and will remain so through most of March. Sales are vanishingly slim, and there's a lot of year ahead of us. If it is cancer, the costs are going to skyrocket very fast, and we have no way of paying for it, and neither of us cares; we're doing this. Determination is the word; with Wings's help, I'm going to beat whatever it is. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. We need sales. Badly. Selling today's featured work, shown just below, would take care of the biopsy costs. Even so, all this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a local disabled vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

Friday Feature: A Little Wisdom At Winter's End

It's our Friday Feature at The NDN Silver Blog, with the final entry in this month's examination of works by a Pueblo master of the art and spirit of stone. It's also a work whose illuminating message the whole world could take to heart: a little wisdom at winter's end.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (by next week, this month will have taken us to the cleaners to the tune of the mid-four figures for medical expenses, and much worse is looming), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Thursday, February 21, 2019

Caged.

I'm beginning to feel caged. Can't shake this bug; full-blown shivering chills last night for the first time in probably five years or more. My head hurts to the touch, and so does my back, from the coughing, and none that holds a candle to the pain on the left side of my windpipe the left side of my chest, which indicates that, no matter what they say, there is STILL something going on in my esophagus and chest that they haven't found yet.

Also, we're past the 72-hour mark (which was the outside range by which I was supposed to have the results), and no word yet on the biopsy. I'm about to lose my mind. At this point, I just want to know what I'm dealing with, whatever it is — because until I know, I can't even start dealing with fixing it, FFS.

And the worry over money continues to mount. Massive outlays over the last seven weeks and the ones that we know are coming down the pike — three figures each for two appointments next week and refilling my inhaler, none of which has anything to do with what it's going to cost to fix whatever this is. The Pueblo's been closed since the first of the month, and will remain so through most of March. Sales are vanishingly slim, and there's a lot of year ahead of us. If it is cancer, the costs are going to skyrocket very fast, and we have no way of paying for it, and neither of us cares; we're doing this. Determination is the word; with Wings's help, I'm going to beat whatever it is. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. We need sales. Badly. Selling today's featured work, shown just below, would take care of the biopsy costs. Even so, all this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a local disabled vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

#ThrowbackThursday: A Time to Shine

It's #TBT at The NDN Silver Blog, with a throwback only to last November and a pair of earrings that were part of a very special commission for a friend. These were created to personify warmth and light, small and radiant manifestations of personal suns, and a reminder that regardless of weather, day, or season, it is always a time to shine.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. These were a special commission that will never be duplicated exactly, but if the general style speaks to your spirit, simply inquire via the site's Contact form; Wings can create a version uniquely your own. And, as always, sales are very much needed (seven weeks of massive medical outlays, with a lot more — and a lot larger — to come very soon), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

Snow in the sun. Sicker than a dog.

Snow in the sun last night. Today is bitterly cold, and there's supposed to be another storm on the way, due to hit tomorrow night.

And I am sicker than a dog.

I don't very often get cold/flu-type things anymore; my constant chronic illness is more than enough, thanks. But it means that I forget just how miserable it is until it hits. Wings, thankfully, is getting over it now; hopefully I won't be too far behind.

No word yet on the biopsy. Could have results as early as this afternoon; more likely, not until Friday (if then). I'm hoping for early, obviously. Also hoping for "benign," but there's always that risk . . . .

And none of this, of course, stops the worry over money, either, given the massive outlays we've already had over the last six weeks and the ones that we know are coming down the pike. The Pueblo's been closed since the first of the month, and will remain so through most of March. Sales are vanishingly slim, and there's a lot of year ahead of us. If it is cancer, the costs are going to skyrocket very fast, and we have no way of paying for it, and neither of us cares; we're doing this. Determination is the word; with Wings's help, I'm going to beat whatever it is. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. We need sales. Badly. Selling today's featured work, shown just below, would take care of the biopsy costs. Even so, all this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a local disabled vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

A Light For All Seasons

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's a work to honor the steadfast spirit of the sun. It's one of my favorites among Wings's more recent works, one that braids together the aspects of an elemental sky spirit, reminding us that its subject grants us the gift of a light for all seasons.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. Inquiries via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (massive medical outlays nearly weekly since the first of the year, and a lot more and larger to come), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Probably as good as I could've asked.

The Old Man, yesterday evening. We got incredibly lucky (or, rather, incredibly blessed and protected): Despite the icy, messy roads here yesterday morning, it was clear in town, and completely dry through the first 3/4 or so of the Gorge. There were a few slick wet patches at that point, but nothing really problematic, and the snow held off for both Santa Fe and for the trip back home. We're getting buried under it today, which is perfectly fine.

Yesterday was (other than the bitterly cold gale-force winds) probably as good as I could've asked in terms of the procedure itself. Yeah, it hurt. Yeah, it still hurts. Yeah, I have swelling and stiffness in addition to the pain (and today, this bug has blown fully into the open, so I'm sicker than a dog besides, probably in no small part due to yesterday's trauma to my body). But despite the fact that I had to be stuck with needles repeatedly and have a bunch of cells removed repeatedly, the doc was quick and thorough and as smooth as could reasonably be expected. After numbing me up, they did the standard three attempts; then they slide and stain them and see if they think they got enough useful cells to send to the path for analysis. If not, they have to come back and do it again, three more times. I got lucky; he got enough on the first three tries. Now, I wait; theoretically, I should know sometime between Wednesday and Friday, but I may not hear anything before my follow-up appointment next Monday. If you want to do something to help, pray for results before then, because I'm really not feeling a whole week of waiting.

As smoothly as it went, none of this, of course, stops the worry over money, either, given the massive outlays we've already had over the last six weeks and the ones that we know are coming down the pike. The Pueblo's been closed since the first of the month, and will remain so through most of March. Sales are vanishingly slim, and there's a lot of year ahead of us. If it is cancer, the costs are going to skyrocket very fast, and we have no way of paying for it, and neither of us cares; we're doing this. Determination is the word; with Wings's help, I'm going to beat whatever it is. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. We need sales. Badly. Selling today's featured work, shown just below, would take care of the biopsy costs. Even so, all this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
Wings's direct PayPal link;
A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a local disabled vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

Red Willow Spirit: A Time of Gray Clouds and Golden Light

Now posted at The NDN Silver Blog, it's an edition of Red Willow Spirit for the waning days of winter. It's a series of images from many years ago that nonetheless could have been taken this very week, capturing the mystery and magic found here in a time of gray clouds and golden light.

The post is here. Wings's main page is here. As always, Wings's photos are available for purchase in any of the usual three formats; simply inquire via the site's Contact form. And, as always, sales are very much needed (a massive medical outlay yesterday, more coming next week, and a much bigger one as soon as a diagnosis can be finalized and treatment scheduled), so shares of the site links are much appreciated.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.

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