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| Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. |
Fires everywhere here, it feels like. My body is completely uncooperative today, having been pushed too far all week physically, to say nothing of the lidocaine load from the injections, and then, of course, all the accumulated and accumulating stress of the medical unknowns and the financial pressures that come with it.
As I said, we don't know what it is. We don't know anything, other than the fact that I have at least two organs that are not my heart that are impaired in some way. That's what next week is about. We don't know whether other organs are involved, nor what this consists of, nor whether these are the things that are affecting my heart or there really IS something gone very wrong with my heart that isn't showing up on tests thus far. It's now looking like I have to make two out-of-town trips in the snow, because the forecast has changed yet again. And yesterday I less woke up than resurrected myself, sitting bolt upright from another [non-sleep-apnea] episode of having stopped breathing yet again.
As I said, we don't know what it is. We don't know anything, other than the fact that I have at least two organs that are not my heart that are impaired in some way. That's what next week is about. We don't know whether other organs are involved, nor what this consists of, nor whether these are the things that are affecting my heart or there really IS something gone very wrong with my heart that isn't showing up on tests thus far. It's now looking like I have to make two out-of-town trips in the snow, because the forecast has changed yet again. And yesterday I less woke up than resurrected myself, sitting bolt upright from another [non-sleep-apnea] episode of having stopped breathing yet again.
As I also said, I am tired. Raven is, too; he's sleeping more and more lately. Still here for the bones, though, and the treats and the head scratches and the being told that we love him.
As I've said, with the economy in the shambles it is, we have had not a single sale since before Christmas, not one in 2019 yet. We were fortunate to have squirreled away funds to cover this at the moment, but it's only February first; there's a lot of year ahead of us. I'm terrified of what 2019 is going to bring, expense-wise, especially if they find something . . . not good, which is also terrifying in and of itself. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. All this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):
As I've said, with the economy in the shambles it is, we have had not a single sale since before Christmas, not one in 2019 yet. We were fortunate to have squirreled away funds to cover this at the moment, but it's only February first; there's a lot of year ahead of us. I'm terrified of what 2019 is going to bring, expense-wise, especially if they find something . . . not good, which is also terrifying in and of itself. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. All this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):
- My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
- Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
- Wings's direct PayPal link;
- A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
- Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
- Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
All we want, to be able to have some confidence in making it through the whole year with whatever they're going to find going wrong in my body, is to make some sales. That's it: sales; nothing else. But I haven't been able to make even that happen, and the stress is telling. Good vibes for Raven are still welcome (he's hanging in), but I could use some, too, and some help with sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em). Thanks.
All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.
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