Caged.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

I'm beginning to feel caged. Can't shake this bug; full-blown shivering chills last night for the first time in probably five years or more. My head hurts to the touch, and so does my back, from the coughing, and none that holds a candle to the pain on the left side of my windpipe the left side of my chest, which indicates that, no matter what they say, there is STILL something going on in my esophagus and chest that they haven't found yet.

Also, we're past the 72-hour mark (which was the outside range by which I was supposed to have the results), and no word yet on the biopsy. I'm about to lose my mind. At this point, I just want to know what I'm dealing with, whatever it is — because until I know, I can't even start dealing with fixing it, FFS.

And the worry over money continues to mount. Massive outlays over the last seven weeks and the ones that we know are coming down the pike — three figures each for two appointments next week and refilling my inhaler, none of which has anything to do with what it's going to cost to fix whatever this is. The Pueblo's been closed since the first of the month, and will remain so through most of March. Sales are vanishingly slim, and there's a lot of year ahead of us. If it is cancer, the costs are going to skyrocket very fast, and we have no way of paying for it, and neither of us cares; we're doing this. Determination is the word; with Wings's help, I'm going to beat whatever it is. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. We need sales. Badly. Selling today's featured work, shown just below, would take care of the biopsy costs. Even so, all this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a local disabled vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

All we want, to be able to have some confidence in making it through the whole year with whatever they're going to find going wrong in my body, is to make some sales. That's it: sales; nothing else. But I haven't been able to make even that happen, and the stress is telling. Good vibes for Raven are still welcome (he's still hanging with us, and I need him to be safe while we're out). But I could use some, too. We all could also use some help with sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em). Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.