Gifts of love. Cause for worry.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

Wings came home with these yesterday. Also with chocolate for my migraine (one of the few areas where I got lucky: My migraines aren't triggered by chocolate; they're remedied by it). Gifts of love entirely unrelated to Valentine's Day, and yes, I know how lucky I am.

Clear and cold and a little windy today. No snow last night; the forecast was completely off, as per what seems to be usual anymore. Snow supposedly tomorrow, and intermittently for much of the next two weeks. We'll see. 

In the meantime, there's plenty of cause for worry. I have my repeat labs tomorrow morning, and I'm hoping that she'll have the referral ready by then so I can schedule the biopsy. As I said, it's a weird kind of relief, this notion that I could have this particular type of cancer, because it's (mostly, save for a couple of variants) more manageable, both literally and in terms of getting my head around the possibilities, than the one we were really worried about. But I've had my internal freakout over it, and now I just want to get on with it. If it is malignant, I want to get treatment under way as soon as possible. [And yes, it turns out that this particular issue could have caused my near death experiences, because there is one scenario in which, despite it not being my heart, it can affect the heart in exactly the way I've been experiencing. And yes, that part of it can be fatal, albeit almost by accident.] 

And as I've also said, if that's what it is, we are going to fight it every step of the way, no matter what it costs, either in money or in pain. Given that both could be considerable, I'd really like to get this under way immediately, so I can figure out what I'm really facing here.

So we've got more big outlays coming up, much bigger ones very soon. As I've also said, we were fortunate to have squirreled away funds to cover this at the moment, but it's barely February; there's a lot of year ahead of us. If it is cancer, the costs are going to skyrocket very fast, and we have no way of paying for it, and neither of us cares; we're doing this. Determination is the word; with Wings's help, I'm going to beat whatever it is. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. All this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).

All we want, to be able to have some confidence in making it through the whole year with whatever they're going to find going wrong in my body, is to make some sales. That's it: sales; nothing else. But I haven't been able to make even that happen, and the stress is telling. Good vibes for Raven are still welcome (he's still hanging with us, and I need him to be safe while we're out). But I could use some, too. We all could also use some help with sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em). Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.