Coming to an understanding.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

I think that right there is what you call "coming to an understanding." Or maybe just "resignation."

Everything will be out of order today. I have to leave in a couple of hours for another blood draw — this time, they're testing for the oversampling of a particular hormone that can fairly definitively label this as medullary thyroid cancer (or not, if it comes back inconclusive, in which case, they may not be able to determine the type until they remove the tumor). I'm going to have a lot to get done in the days to come, so expect me to be more scarce and scattered than usual. I did manage to sleep better last night; for me, knowing, however unexpected or unwelcome, is still better than not knowing.

Thanks to everyone for the good vibes and support last night. I'm going to have push sales really hard now, because this is escalating fast, and I'm already in the hole on medical stuff more than $30K again. We paid out four figures to the tax man on Friday. We have three medical appointments between us this week and we picked up my inhaler refill yesterday. Today, I have to pay the $1,600 to the path. If we have to pay up front for the surgery, there will be no surgery, so for the sake of my own survival, I have to pray that they take me in, do it, and then bill me.

The Pueblo's been closed since the first of the month, and will remain so through most of March. Sales are vanishingly slim, and there's a lot of year ahead of us. We now know that it is cancer, that the costs are going to skyrocket very fast, and that we have no way of paying for it, and neither of us cares; we're doing this. Determination is the word; with Wings's help, I'm going to beat it. So much fear intertwined with all of this, and no end in sight. Even so, all this stuff is piling up fast and I have to get us through the whole year, not just the next two weeks, so please share the links (or use them, if anyone's so inclined):

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a local disabled vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

All we want, to be able to have some confidence in making it through the whole year with whatever they're going to find going wrong in my body, is to make some sales. That's it: sales; nothing else. But I haven't been able to make even that happen, and the stress is telling. Good vibes for Raven are still welcome (he's still hanging with us, and I need him to be safe while we're out). But I could use some, too. We all could also use some help with sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em). Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.