Murderous wind.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

Day three of murderous wind, and yeah, it makes for some pretty cloud formations, but it also makes me feel as though I've had the literal hell beaten out of me, then been run over by a truck. Believe me, I'd trade in the clouds in a heartbeat. The air outside the window is brown, everything's blowing horizontally, and every joint in my body is screaming.

It also means that Miika's laminitis is flaring, because that's what happens with this disease and this weather and this time of year, but Miskwaki is also having problems [GI stuff that is not colic but is nonetheless problematic], and I had to stand out there yesterday and hold him through eight syringes' worth of meds. The vet is coming on Monday morning to check him out. Nobody anticipates anything significant, but he's due for a check-up anyway. And it's one more goddamn expense. Aside from that, I also have to come up with about $350 to cover my own supplements, things that help protect the collagen in my joints (that are only affordable if I order $200 worth, which is 6 months' worth), plus the rest to try to help keep my other airway-suffocating symptoms at bay. They help. The don't halt it, but they help. Which means I can't run out of them.

Meanwhile, I'm way behind, still have to deal with taxes, second vaccine dose due next Wednesday and I have to be prepared to be useless for several days thereafter, and I have no time. On top of all of that, as I said, something from Sunday threw me back into a very bad place, even though it's one I've never been able to leave entirely in the physical sense in the first place, and I'm now stuck wading through that in addition to all the rest. And that's all complicated by the fact that I have one of those markers coming up in a couple of weeks that is a very bad one for me, one that has plunged me into deep depressions in years past, and I simply don't have the time for that this year. I have to avoid it at all costs, which means I'm likely to be scarce for a while, possible several weeks, because there's just too much going on here, and never enough resources and never enough time.

As I also said, one thing I think we are going to need to do, if/when Pojoaque Pueblo reopens its program if it's not already, is buy a share in a buffalo. But that's going to cost, probably in the range of ~$2K. On top of that, if we don't get clear signs of a decent rainy season early? We're going to have to put ourselves on the list for well-drilling, like we've been talking about for 2-3 years now. We won't have a choice. And that whole process, by the time we get done? ~$10K, probably (not the cost of the drilling; that's the drilling, the well, the installation, the pipe, and the wellhouse all combined). And it's one more year that I'll have to raise money to do both, and one more year (again) that I will not be able to get the kitchen (as you see above) or the plumbing finished off or the plaster repaired. Just to do those two things? Oh, wait, three, because I'm probably going to have find the money somewhere for Wings's hearing aids, because I think he's finally convinced that we need to make the investment. I'm going to need to set up PayPal pools to fund them, absent making a whole bunch of sales now. It's endless, and I am so fucking tired.

Meanwhile, like the expenses, the work keeps piling on, and we're not making any sales (2 since the first of the year, and there's no way we survive on that, never mind help anyone else). The last couple of years have required us to dig deep and ante up to help others at a level we've never done before. This year? Has already buried that. But as I said about that being why we do what we do, especially now in these days of pandemic, it's become abundantly clear that too often, there IS NO tomorrow, and the only chance you might have to help someone stay alive is TODAY. Things are bad locally; no economy, nothing. No vaccines for most folks dependent on the state system, either. We have lost SO much to 2020 (and already in 2021), so very, very many people, and the gifts and the talents and the knowledge and the wisdom they carried too often lost with them. People have needed so much more help than we could give them, but we did as much as we could, even when it put us in a bind, and we will need to do much more of that this year. People continue to need help, and we give it, but we're up well over $2 grand and a whole lot more. 

I can juggle for now, but I've got to find it again somewhere. Part of my work involves me reorganizing the Web site and then promoting the hell out of everything again. That's on top of all the other work I need to do around here, and I have been mostly useless, largely due to the recent flurry of episodes with my health. For every episode, it takes me multiple days to recover, all while hoping that another one doesn't set me back even further. That's not good. Too many people need help, and the government remains determined to see us die. There's work to do. This is why I've had to stop doing some things; there are just not enough hours in the day anymore, and I've got to make it all of this up somewhere. So:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (copper/metal/glass cleaners on it are needed most);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make it this staggering outlay somehow. There's even new work, here and here and now here, among other new pieces from 3 weeks ago, too, so please watch for them and share the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.