Hard day.

Photo copyright Aji, 2025; all rights reserved.

Lots of clouds. Virtually nothing in the way of snow. Oh, we had periods of flurries, hard ones. But the winds, which, I might add, are still howling out there even after dark, blew everything out; nothing had time to land on the ground. Even the peaks, which had snow falling visibly most of the day, show almost no new ground cover.

It's made for a hard day, in so very many ways.

The winds are two months early, which likely means I'm getting two extra months of the one weather phenomenon, more than any other, that causes me relentless agonizing pain. Give me cold and snow any day of the week. But nope; here we are. 

Today was also hard because I'm jut absolutely wiped out from those two episodes over the weekend, and I'm having a really hard time getting my energy back. Chemo is on Friday, which is suddenly just over two days away, and I just have no desire to do anything at all. None. But that is not an option that's open to me, so I'll just be late with everything, and probably typo-riddled, and generally unable to function even minimally right now.

The scary part is that I don't know whether that will change.

It used to be that I had the relative luxury of knowing that a flare would eventually ease off, even if only a little, but it would do it at some point. Now, just as I have to worry with each episode if this will be the one I don't survive, I have to worry whether this flare is the one that never ends, because it's not an exacerbation but a progression. And that scares the hell out of me. Not as much as the terror-inducing episodes do, but still. And something Wings said today [something good; nothing wrong with what he said] reminded me that if anyone, anywhere, at any point in my life had ever listened to me or believed me, starting with and including my parents? I might be more functional now. But the damage is done, and my body is not going to come back from that, not at my age now. And where and when is the line going to fall, the one where I can't do even this stuff anymore?

And it doesn't help that the world is still on fire, they're still coming for us all, and we still have to worry about our communities, about our relatives [both of whom are disproportionately affected by this illegal "funding suspension"], . . . and about us. Last year was indescribably bad on pretty much every single front, especially sales. This year, already a month into it, and it's not appreciably better. I have GOT to make some sales, since we've had only two so far in this new year, and we're already in the second month. It takes at least one sale a week [sometimes more] just for us to break even on the year, and last year? We didn't even do half that. We're going to have to replace the well pressure pump, without question. Taxes are coming. My laptop apparently will have to wait yet another year [assuming I can keep this alive that long, which I can't assume for a moment, actually]. So now would still be a good time to buy. TONS of new and fabulous work on the site, and tons more on the way, too [three hearts as early as tomorrow evening, possibly]. But I've got to sell something, for the love of all that's holy. I can't live with this level of constant fear on top of everything else.

Links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (Amazon cards are probably most useful at this point); 
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

After such a grim year, this one far worse than the last, we urgently need to begin 2025 on a better footing before taxes take every cent, so please share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2025; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.