A messenger, but not the message I was hoping for. Sales very badly needed; subscribers and shares, too.

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

Yesterday's messenger. I had hoped for a better message than what we got: Wings was on his way home from an errand in Hondo when the truck began to die. On a hill. And of course, he tried calling me and the phones didn't work. Which is to say, mine, fully charged, on, and in my pocket, never rang. To be clear, the car could never have pulled that truck, but he wanted to let me know what was going on, and couldn't. Fortunately, his clan brother was out and about and his phone did work; he dropped everything and towed Wings home safe and sound, thank all that's holy.

Of course, that means a trip to the shop on Wednesday. It seems to involve multiple issues: compression, carburetor, possibly other things. At some point, it's going to be impossible to keep this old truck going, but we can't afford to buy one. And here, a truck is an absolutely necessity, given the hauling and so forth that has to be done. What a perfect way to end 2018, awash in more expenses. We'll be starting the new one adding to this avalanche of medical debt, too.

I'm struggling these days. Depression has me nearly suffocated, and pain too, which makes me completely unequipped to talk to anyone. Any exertion at all in the cold, and my chest rebels, and that's scary as hell, too. What's also scary is what's waiting for me next week, trying to restart this process again: frightening in terms of what might be involved, in terms of what they might find, and unquestionably in terms of how much this is all going to cost. And to be very clear, because I choose my words with precision, but others don't: This is only an appointment. I've been trying to schedule it for three months, and the referral for the testing, too, and could get not so much as a call back. Wings finally called (we both have the same doc at the same practice), and lo and behold, the receptionist set up an appointment on the spot. No, not at all; why would I be angry? [I'm fucking furious.]

And so, as I said above, we also have a whole new avalanche of medical expenses waiting for us on the other side of the new year, beginning next Thursday, and that's on top of the five figures' worth remaining from the year just past. I posted Wings's newest works the other day, a return to an older series; this grouping consists of six pieces, all collected here. For purposes of sharing, here are all the regular links:

• My new Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until January 1st for December);
• Wings's site, for sales, with new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).

As I've said, our path goes through the snow and the dangerous cold, and we have to make it through a long hard winter now. Yes, I'm scared.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.