Nine Years On

Photo copyright Wings, 2016; 
all rights reserved.

This is a bittersweet day.

It's the annual Feast of San Geronimo here, not that we had time to go. This day has always been associated with that marker, of course.

For a year now, it has held deeply personal significance for us in a way that holds great joy. But it's joy that is always tempered by its other association.

Nine years ago, at 1:12 PM MDT, we lost our beautiful BearGirl. She was, for her kind, already longer-lived than most, and yet it was not her time; her body had become riddled with tumors, a terrible side effect of a medication she should never have been given. The photo above was taken nine years ago yesterday, along with some others of her and Hunter with me. The following day, she suffered a small but significant stroke, and it was time.

I did as I always do: Went out at the appointed time, burned cedar and sprinkled tobacco where her ashes were scattered. I can't help but feel that the good that now accompanies this date is due to her, to the sheer force of will of her powerful spirit, ensuring that what she wanted for us came to pass. Years ago, she welcomed me as only a few spirits ever have, all of them of her kind, and while she was first and foremost Wings's girl, she gave me the gift of becoming mine, too, and instantly so.

Nine years on, I miss her presence every day.

We love you, BearGirl.



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2016; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.