Snow falling while the sun is shining.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

It's a place where seemingly opposite things can be true simultaneously: snow falling while the sun is shining, among others. That was yesterday morning. It stopped sometime yesterday afternoon, but started back up again overnight. It's wonderful for the land here; terrible for the folks east of here without the infrastructure to handle it.

And the reports out of Texas today are triggering, to say the least. I used to "joke" that I had PTSD over things like heat and lights and running water, but it wasn't a joke. We spent seven years in those dangerous conditions, which are of course part of why my health is so bad now, and we are endlessly grateful for our situation now, housed and warm and safe. But seven years of that takes a toll, and over the last four days, it's all coming crashing back. The constant fear, the constant cold and pain and fatigue and inability to sleep, the lack of water or lights, the worry over the propane water heater or the indoor propane heater (all we had) or the possibility, realized twice, of electrical fire. I'm reminded it every single day, every time I step into a hot shower, every morning when I wake up in an actual bed and every night when I lie down to go to sleep in it. And it's never going to fade.

So I'm out of patience entirely with the brand of edgy white privilege and supremacy that thinks it's funny to poke fun at folks suffering today because the governments forced on them are fascist failures of humanity. After seven years of physical misery, all while coping with multiple disabilities? After now-multiple brushes with actual death since, and the constant worry whether the next time will be the one? After the botched mess every colonial level of government has made of managing this pandemic, and knowing that despite being eligible for vaccination NOW, I cannot get it because no one can be bothered, while I watch privilege jump the line repeatedly and we've spent the last year surrounded by elders and young folks alike dying needlessly for colonialism's bullshit?

You better believe I'm running on pure rage at this point. My survival may be due entirely to spite, but it's survival. And if you are not helping others survive? Worse, if you're hindering that? I will shame you six ways from Sunday, out loud and in public. Our ways require the work of us, and we do it and and we give it even when we can't afford either, and with colonialism continuing to take and take and take while our peoples die? I WILL SHAME YOU FOR IT.

Meanwhile, with an economy utterly ravaged by this management, I still have to get our own work done, too. We need to bring in some sales (one $65 sale in six weeks, and NONE for Valentine's Day, is not going to cut it), and part of that involves me reorganizing the Web site and then promoting the hell out of everything again. That's on top of all the other work I need to do around here, and I have been mostly useless, largely due to the recent flurry of episodes with my health. For every episode, it takes me multiple days to recover, all while hoping that another one doesn't set me back even further. That's not good. Too many people need help, and the government remains determined to see us die. There's work to do.

Because things are bad locally. There is still no economy now. There's nothing. No vaccines for most of us, either. And yet the governor has just canceled tourist quarantine (not that she ever enforced it in the first place) and reopened most of the state to limited-capacity indoor, sit-down, maskless dining for Valentine's Day, because she's completely in thrall to the restaurant lobby and is willing to let them kill us as a result. People are literally dying all around us from the government's failures, and I don't know how we keep them, or us, alive unless I can cover the bills. We have lost SO much to 2020, so very, very many people, and the gifts and the talents and the knowledge and the wisdom they carried too often lost with them. People have needed so much more help than we could give them, but we did as much as we could, even when it put us in a bind, and we will need to do much more of that this year. We have shelled out close to 2 grand over the last 2 weeks of January, including $600 two weeks ago to fill the propane tank, which I was not expecting; close to a grand last weekend for the firewod; and my Patreon remains $300 short again for the second month running. I've got to make it up somewhere. So:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (copper/metal/glass cleaners on it are needed most);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make it this staggering outlay somehow. There's even new work, here and here and now here, among other new pieces from last week, too, so please watch for them and share the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.