Birds and omens; obstacles and more expensive testing coming up. Sales badly needed, and shares, too.

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

Yesterday was the harrier and the red-tail. Today, red-tails again, zooming right over me a couple of times, but not where I could get a decent shot then. Also, a couple of immature bald eagles visited me here in my dreams last night. Hanging onto all of them for dear life.

I was just too exhausted, not just physically but mentally, to post anything beyond Wings's stuff. Today didn't start all that auspiciously, either. Aside from all the stuff I'm assiduously avoiding right now so as not to trigger an episode from mere stress, I was sitting here working very early this morning, not long after dawn, when a bird hit the window next to me so hard I could feel the vibration. I went outside, and this was a much larger bird than usual: a male chokecherry bird, okanise, one of the grosbeaks. It was, thank all that's holy, at least instantaneous; he never even dropped the seed he was carrying in his beak. We took care of him properly, but I think he had a wife; a lone female appeared in the aspen next to the feeder, staying very close to me, much closer than they usually do, and calling. They're allegedly monogamous, but I think a widowed grosbeak will eventually take a new mate; i hope so, for her sake. It still hurt my heart to watch and hear her.

She-Wolf had her follow-up today. She's doing as well as can probably be expected, although we know we're staving off the inevitable. There's some concern that her spleen may be getting enlarged, and if so, that will be a problem, but the vet basically said that we won't worry about that until we have to worry about it. Yes, that's kind of what it means. But for today, she somehow knew that she had a vet appointment, and followed me out when I went to get the car warming up, absolutely bouncing. When I told her we'd go back and get her leash, she began dancing. The vet and the staff absolutely love her, and she now loves seeing them as a result.

On my own front, not so much. One intermediate step I thought I'd be able to take with regard to the testing is apparently not going to happen. What this means is that at some point in the relatively near future (never near enough, but also, given the cost, never far enough, either), I'll have to go down to Santa Fe for CT imaging. Why? Because it's half the cost of it locally. And it's billed by the individual scan, which means, since I will most likely need three, that it's going to be hellishly expensive.

So we need to make some sales. Badly. I'm posting the links again tonight, in hopes that folks will share them, and maybe someone will be inspired to buy some of Wings's work, at least. This month has started off in a spectacularly frightening way, and I need to be able to get as many external factors under control as possible before the stress itself kills me. So here are all the links; please share them:

• Wings's site, for sales;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount; another almost $400 for Wings this week);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of supplies for She-Wolf;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
• Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. There are some things left on both registries that I thought by now I might be able just to buy outright, but medical bills (mine and She-Wolf's both) have to come first.

I'm back to spending most of each night on oxygen and praying that I don't need to do anything else. I'm doing my best to maintain, but it's hard when your body is convinced that it's dying several times a day. No, I'm not exaggerating, and no, I don't have a DX.The lack of answers, the stress, the financial pressure is killing me. We both need the space to heal, at least to whatever extent, in my case, turns out to be possible. So please spread the links around, because I have got to generate some regular income somehow.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.