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| Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. |
Winter has talons.
The sooner you learn that, the better you'll survive, especially here. Some folks never learn. And even those of us who know still find it hard to deal with everything it takes from us.
It's been a rough year, and the last month has been harder still. In addition to Wings's nephew, now transferred to Denver for transitional rehabilitation for West Nile meningoencephalitis (and I ask you, how the hell was Ona supposed to plan for or prevent that), there have been four deaths in as many weeks; three here, two family; one outside, a guy Wings went to school with. Talking about it last night, we realized that there had been many more deaths in recent months, on top of the murders of his cousins in June (and no apparent movement from the feds, or sense of urgency, either). Four days ago was the 4-year (or 5?) anniversary of the loss of one dear friend; tomorrow, the 3-year anniversary of another. Today is the fourth anniversary of the walking on of a warrior very dear to us both. [And, of course, Wings's father, 11 years ago the 17th.] It's a hard day. A hard month. So much, ripped away, each in an instant. Details have been mostly not mine to tell, nor do they matter to those outside. But it has made for an unusual feeling of grief and loss this season, one that made Christmas Day very much harder than either of us expected, and has made the season feel not very celebratory at all. Ripped apart, yes.
Not much like talking, either. Memory is so often a traitor to well-being. And so we lean on each other, but we haven't felt much like engaging with the world outside our own, for what I hope should be obvious reasons. In the meantime, we have to get ready for the next wave of storms; the sun that was here a moment ago is gone, and the black wall to the west is moving in fast. A lot to do before it hits, and I have to go do it. It could still be sizeable, with several inches of accumulation and then a deep freeze afterward. I think the former's unlikely; the deep freeze is probably the only sure thing about it, but it's going to make for a difficult week next week, so I'm hoping we can mostly stay home and in where it's warm. There'll be time enough for all those stresses again in the first week of January (and yes, they're looming, including the medical stuff).
And since they're looming, I'm still going to post the links. For those wondering about those and my other health issues, see here, although now there's a new wrinkle I'm not even going to bother to try to explain (triggered by this year's flu shot and confirmed by my doctor, and suffice to say there's no affording treatment); with regard to the work done and not done on the house, some of the details are here. Folks can help in several ways, and we really need it now:
Please share everything, because I'm suddenly back behind the eight-ball on a whole additional front, and yeah, I'm scared about covering everything and surviving, too. Thanks.
All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.
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