Unbearably dry.

Photo copyright Aji, 2023; all rights reserved.

The winds have blown some of the haze out for the moment, so the air looks clearer than it generally is. But all that clarity shows is that it's still hot, unbearably dry, fields burning up, and sections of fence still downed, no time to get to them, and no help to set them back up, now that I can no longer do most of that kind of thing.

It's been a rough week. Stormy's condition, and still no idea how much that will set us back ten days from now; the incomprehensible expense of Wings's dental work; the worsening drought and the lack of any help with everything that needs to get done; the heat exhaustion triggering another of my episodes, and all the involuntary terror that comes with feeling your body shutting down around you and wondering if this is it, if this is the last time.

And then today is the anniversary of the day, five years ago, that we had to send Shade to the Star World. We couldn't even get the damn vet out to do the job, but fortunately, a friend helped with that. But it was awful, and I'd been insisting for months that something was wrong (tumor, as always here), and kept getting ignored, being told it was "allergies." I have some very bad memories surrounding this day, and while it's been five years already, that never gets better.

I have been depressed (in the clinical sense) all week. That's a normal symptom secondary to my autoimmune diseases, but mostly I keep a pretty good handle on it these days. This time, it's not improving, and I'm at least as exhausted mentally and spiritually as I am physically. The lack of sales is only making that worse, a dry spell as bad as the climate's now, and I feel utterly useless on every front.

Because we still have to pay all of next year's quarterly taxes; it took everything we had just to get this year's covered, finally, last month, and there's nothing left for quarterly pre-payments now. Add to that the fact that my Patreon is down this month (i.e., the payout for June on July 1st,) by more than $250, a huge monthly hit that we can't afford, the payment for Miika's hay (she can't have alfalfa and grass is now impossibly costly), and Stormy's upcoming vet visit on top of the dental stuff, and . . . . Storm appears to have developed ovarian remnant syndrome (she's gone into heat almost three years after being spayed), and that will probably involve an ultrasound or a lap right up front, and then either surgery or lifetime meds, and frankly, I'm hoping for the latter, for her as much as for us. But we can't catch a break. Every time I think I have a handle on whatever's immediately in front of us, two or three or four new things pile on.

But the dental stuff is going to be $25k before we're done, and for us, thats all in cash, and . . . $25K. I don't even have words. Or anything else. I'm just numb.

So I have to bring in more sales, and soon. Thinking that we were okay for now was entirely predicated on the assumption of consistent sales for the second half of this year; if we don't make them, then no, we're not okay now, because I have to make everything stretch a lot further than it can possibly go. There's a lot of new work on the site already, including Wings's absolutely phenomenal new cuff, which you can see from all angles here (and you want to see it from all angles, believe me). I posted the two new pairs of earrings here the other night, and the new gemstone bead trio is yesterday's feature, here. Meanwhile, he has more silverwork in rotation, too (two cuffs, more earrings. And I really do need to start bringing in consistent sales again; the year's only half over, and . . . $25K. I don't have any other way to do this for him. All the links are listed below, so please share:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (current priority still the Zero-Odor sprays, because these days we're back to wet dogs again; and the liquid soaps, which we can't get locally); 
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

There's lots of fabulous work on the site, and things are grim here, so please share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2023; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.