A sign.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

Mildly cranky from having to get out and about very early so Raven could get his stitches out before the vet's Saturday-morning rush (they're only open until noon). At any rate, he's got all his sutures out, and got told over and over by two young women how beautiful and brave he is and scratched to within an inch of his life, so it's all good. He's snoozing on the floor now. And I had guessed forty stitches, but Ted told us this morning that he had to put in at least forty stitches underneath (the kind lower dermis, with the kind that dissolve). I said, "Sixty, then?" and he said, "No, I had to go over and back on the surface, too." So the poor guy got somewhere in the neighborhood of eighty, it looks like. It was a massive (and massively deep) wound, and we still cannot find what or where it happened.

Memeskoniniisi showed back up yesterday morning just after dawn, in the upper branches of the southwesternmost weeping willow. I wondered then if it was a sign — meaning would I finally see some movement on all this yesterday, and sure enough . . . . Of course, by this morning, a little bit of the relief has worn off and a little more of the fear is encroaching, because there so much still unknown, and so much that can go wrong.

It means that the newest avalanche of medical expenses also begins on Wednesday. No, no idea what the initial consult will set me back; if I had to guess, two to three hundred, at least. It's everything that follows that's camped out on my soul and won't budge, since I know that, at a minimum, it will be well into five figures before they're done. As I also said, I don't know what else they may find (i.e., spread to lymph nodes or elsewhere; the fact that the thyroid tumor has turned out to be cancerous, and un-DX'd for 16 months, means they'll be looking at the two liver tumors in a new light, given the pattern this sort of cancer tends to take when it spreads), and thus how long they might need to keep me there. And all of this, of course, is complicated now by truly debilitating levels of body-wide pain and fatigue, so at this point, there aren't even fumes in the tank. Right now, I need to raise $1,500 1,000 to pay off one particular bill and $600 ($125 for this one now; we made a sale last night) for another (and then there are another $30K worth behind them, but this will get two of the smaller ones off my back immediately), so here are the links:

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a local disabled vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

All we want, to be able to have some confidence in making it through the whole year with whatever they're going to find going wrong in my body, is to make some sales. That's it: sales; nothing else. But I haven't been able to make even that happen, and the stress is telling. Good vibes for Raven are still welcome (he's still hanging with us, and I need him to be safe while we're out). But I could use some, too. We all could also use some help with sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em). Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.