Stormy days ahead.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

A heart, of sorts, in the middle of a stormy sky. I need to take 'em where I find 'em right now.

Stormy days ahead in both senses of the word — rain imminent (allegedly), plus an absolute whirlwind of stuff to do before tomorrow. And then, yeah, tomorrow itself, although the weather is supposed to be clear. I have no idea what will come out of this. I have to hope for the best and prepare myself for the worst, and that latter part could be very, very unpleasant, so this becomes a very uncomfortable process, to say the least. My to-do list for today is already out of control, so expect to see me today only when you see me, and the rest is mostly cut-and-paste. 

As I said yesterday, the last few days have been nightmarish, trying to get stuff settled and handled before whatever's coming actually arrives. Physical pain levels are out of control, which then disrupts my sleep badly, which then leaves me even more exhausted than I already am anyway. I spent the whole day today on all kinds of necessary but maddening things, including shelling out another four figures' worth on existing medical bills. The path is now paid off (I hope there isn't another unknown one lurking); another of the old smaller bills is paid off; yet another is reduced to just shy of $1,100. Another smallish one is down to $735; yet another to $1,500. And then there's the $30K left across multiple hospital bills. Oh, and I gave the tax man another payment today, too. These are what my days are like. I'd really like to get rid of these final small ones, but $3,400 is entirely out of reach. 

The newest avalanche of medical expenses also begins on Wednesday. No, no idea what the initial consult will set me back; if I had to guess, two to three hundred, at least. It's everything that follows that's camped out on my soul and won't budge, since I know that, at a minimum, it will be well into five figures before they're done. As I also said, I don't know what else they may find (i.e., spread to lymph nodes or elsewhere; the fact that the thyroid tumor has turned out to be cancerous, and un-DX'd for 16 months, means they'll be looking at the two liver tumors in a new light, given the pattern this sort of cancer tends to take when it spreads), and thus how long they might need to keep me there. And all of this, of course, is complicated now by truly debilitating levels of body-wide pain and fatigue, so at this point, there aren't even fumes in the tank. Current goal for existing bills is the $3,400 up above (and, yeah, i'll have to start in on the remaining hospital monsters next), so here are the links:

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until March 1st for February);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back on it; we gave several of our existing bags to a local disabled vet with a starving rescue dog who needed the help;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

All we want, to be able to have some confidence in making it through the whole year with whatever they're going to find going wrong in my body, is to make some sales. That's it: sales; nothing else. But I haven't been able to make even that happen, and the stress is telling. Good vibes for Raven are still welcome (he's still hanging with us, and I need him to be safe while we're out). But I could use some, too. We all could also use some help with sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em). Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.