Thursday, December 15, 2022

Sometimes the reminders hit harder than you expect.

Photo copyright Aji, 2022; all rights reserved.

That was the horses' pen yesterday afternoon. Or, rather, the horse pen, singular, and that's why there's still mostly undisturbed snow: Miika doesn't travel much to this side of it, except tp the water trough out of camera range on the right. Miskwaki, though, would've been all over it, and rolling in it, a giant equine snow angel.

Equine snow angel, indeed. Sometimes the reminders hit harder than you expect. 

What a garbage year.

I'm just . . . done. I'm so, so tired. Physically, mentally, every possible way. I spent more than a year feeling like absolute trash every minute, not realizing that it was the meds doing it to me; they're still not entirely out of my system, and I haven't even begun to be able to undo the physical damage they caused me, and what little benefit they conferred is entirely gone. My pain levels are just out of control all the time now. And I have four new manifestations of my illness, all of which have sprung up in the aftermath of the bivalent booster once more setting my immune system on fire. And I'm tired of knowing that it's only going to get worse, not better.

Even so, all the existing problems still remain (yes, including the damn FedEx nonsense). That's wasting days and weeks of my time, yes, but it's the financial issues that are keeping me awake at night. I'm still trying to keep all the balls in the air right now, because if they come crashing down, everything shatters. And I've still got to get us out of this month and this year in one piece, and I can't do that unless our sales rate increases dramatically and immediately. Nothing else matters (to the outside world where these things have to be paid, and so I have to behave accordingly).

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All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2022; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.                                                             


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