The kind of exhaustion that makes everything seem impossible.

Photo copyright Aji, 2025; all rights reserved.

Good god, I'm beat. Yesterday was chemo day, and I really pushed it because I knew I might feel like crap today, and . . . here we are. I also got virtually no sleep last night, which is also a side effect of the chemo, and that just makes everything worse. This is the kind of exhaustion that makes everything seem impossible.

We had brilliant blue skies this morning, but it looks more like that now. We're supposed to get rain yet this afternoon/evening. Which I would normally love, except for the fact that LANL is venting that radioactive isotope for the next two weeks, and it interacts with . . . yup, water. You can't be out in the rain when it's happening, and I don't know what they hell people with livestock, the wild animals, or the plants and soil and watersheds are supposed to do, but again, here we fucking are.

The guys just left; they've been working on the deck railing and balusters, which was needed before they can lay the new planks. Every storm weakens the existing ones that much more, and some of them are rotted through on the ends. It's incredibly unsafe. And I'm incredibly irritated that we cannot find regular help, especially given how well we pay, so that some of these I can no longer can get done before they get to the point that it's a danger to us and the dogs both. But it seems that that's impossible here. And I'm tired of indulging it.

I'm also incredibly irritated by the fact that I cannot seem to make a single sale. It's been a week since the last one, and right now, that's not gonna cut it. Not with last week having set us back more than $3K, cash, and knowing that this week will cost us around $1,200, as nearly as I can estimate beforehand. And it's been a ridiculously expensive year already [on top of last year]. If we could just continue to make regular weekly sales, we'd be fine . . . but we need to make those sales now, and so far, that's not happening. There's a lot of gorgeous new work up, but I've got to sell it for it to make any difference. This kind of stress is also not helping my health. I need that to change this week, and fast. And to that end, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here; 
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And we do still need to make those regular weekly sales, so please share all of the links. We really do need this to be a better month than what we've had so far this year.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2025; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.