Melancholy days and spirits in the skies. A lot of expense coming up fast. Sales and shares badly needed.

Photo copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved.

It's been a melancholy day: Dr. King's birthday; tomorrow a birthday marker of another sort for me; Dolores O'Riordan gone, and being flung back suddenly to 1992 or '3; still no snow; 12 or 20 episodes a day of wondering whether this is it, again, and whether it will really be, you know, it. It's the kind of day that makes you feel very small and alone and insignificant, and I've been all of those things. And then Father Sun shows up in a photo, showing more of himself than usual, and my beloved weeping willow becomes a shawl dancer (top bullet below), and maybe I'll get through the next episode, and the next, and the next . . . and I am not alone, I have the greatest gift possible in Wings.

But. When I said 12 or 20 episodes a day, I was being literal in the extreme. I have to call the doctor tomorrow and see if I can move up my appointment. It's frustrating, not least because Wings is bearing the brunt of the workload, but it's also terrifying each time it happens and you're forced to face the fact, again, that this might be the one that doesn't actually let you out the other side. So far, I've been lucky. But I'm neither cocky nor stupid, and I take nothing for granted.

She-Wolf also goes back in a couple of days for her follow-up, which will essentially be an eval of her condition and to what extent the meds might be working. She is tired a lot, and her numbers are high, but she's also happy, and playful, and ready to romp with her brother whenever he's ready to throw down, so that makes us hopeful. I have no idea how much this round will set us back, though (nor my own follow-up, for that matter. And of course, at some point, we need to get the house finished off, because there are still some things undone whose absence impairs functionality. I have no idea when that will be.

So we still need all the shares and all the sales we can drum up right now, and will for quite a while. There'll be no new work on the house for some time yet, obviously. BTW, Wings has new pieces in the works, items I will likely be posting all this week, so keep checking back. Here are the links; please continue to share them consistently: 

• Tonight's post elsewhere (barely more than an image, but one we needed);
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to She-Wolf's & my medical bills);
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• Wings's site, for sales;
• Wayfair gift cards, to replenish all the furnishings that the RV has destroyed in one way or another.
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. There are new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need to replace (either because the RV ruined it or because we gave it away when we had to downsize).
• Partial registry #2, from Wayfair. There are some things left on both registries that I thought by now I might be able just to buy outright, but medical bills (mine and She-Wolf's both) have to come first.

I am no more functional than I was a few days ago — less, in fact, although we can't pin down why. I mean, we know it's all part of whatever happened to me in November; it's just that no one can figure out what that is, much less how to fix it. It makes me feel old and decrepit, especially given that I can't take 20 steps without getting short of breath, and I still can't lift or carry anything, which means I'm utterly useless around here. I'm using a cane routinely now when we run errands, and sometimes I just have to stop and sit, because I just can't stand upright another minute. It's profoundly maddening. Still, it's a gift to wake up each morning, even when the wind chills are teens or below; on mornings like this, you get glitter.  Thanks, everybody, from both of us, for everything. 



All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2018; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.