Quizzical.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

Grandfather has been back again over the last few days. He was here after my mother walked on, when I realized I was utterly alone in the world except for Wings; here, too, when we were building the house. Then he mostly vanished. He showed up again the day I got my lupus diagnosis. This was yesterday evening, and he looked as quizzical as I feel over everything swamping me right now.

The worst part of it right now is not the lupus per se, but the long-term effects. The subluxed shoulder turned into a nightmare of excruciating, unrelievable pain last night, and I finally had to go downstairs and [try to] sleep on the couch, where I could block that arm aainst the back with pillows to keep gravity from pulling on the connective tissue. It was so severe it reduced me to tears, and after a lifetime of unrelenting physical pain? There's not much that can do that to me anymore.

Finally, I took a prednisone — a full dose, 20 mg, and that eventually allowed me to doze a little bit. The pain is slightly less intense now, but I still have my arm in the sling, and given that this is my dominant arm, it's causing very real problems over and above the pain right now. I don't know what I'll do if this doesn't improve soon; it's been 48 hours already.

Meanwhile, another $160 out the door Friday. And of course everyone else wants their cut. I was finally able to pay the insurance bill Wednesday, and we bought a small load of firewood, because it's getting cold at night again now. Another $75 Tuesday for the labs, with probably a subsequent bill to come. Given that I'm essentially not sleeping at all, which makes the pain and the brain fog so much worse (so bad I can't work), things are getting really grim. Aside from that, I also finally paid our quarterly taxes online last night, and there are likely to be more bills on the last round of labs, too; more meds, more more more more . . . . That means sales, but I don't have the physical wherewithal to chase it, because of my pain and fatigue levels, along with some other problematic symptoms that are probably the lupus, being entirely off the charts. Still, I have to suck it up on this front, too, because we need sales, and I have to shove the rest down long enough to make some. That's it; nothing else matters right now, and I can't do it alone. Wings has A LOT of new work, so I'd be grateful to everyone who shares it, and of course, if you're in the market, keep us in mind for purchases.

Anyway, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are all the mosquito-prevention items, especially the portables and the patio-surface ones, because Wings can take them around the land with his as he works);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make up this staggering outlay somehow. There's lots of fabulous new work, so please watch for all of it and share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.