In a haze.

Photo copyright Aji, 2021; all rights reserved.

Everything's in a haze now: last night's moon, shrouded in clouds and smoke; my brain, shrouded in some of the worst pain I've ever had, and a bunch of new stressors to go with it.

For folks who don't already know: The new diagnosis is lupus (SLE). It didn't come as any kind of surprise to me, given my labs from a couple of weeks ago. But it's still a big hit, made bigger by my sudden recent and drastic deterioration in terms of global pain and fatigue. I'm supposed to be starting on Plaquenil (hydroxychloroquine; you know, the stuff that does absolutely nothing for COVID but that Trump's fuckery denied to the lupus patients who depend on it to survive). Problem is, I can't start taking it until I can get a TB test to rule out tuberculosis (it's a standard screening for this medication), and I can't seem to get that because the state-funded place that administers it locally won't take a referral from anyone but their own goddamn network docs. Their Web site says they treat ANYONE, but they told me over the phone that "we don't treat just anybody." Yeah, fuck you; you get funded out of my tax dollars. Yes, Native people pay taxes. Unlike billionaire cosplay "astronauts."

So now, I have to wait some more. The problem is that I can barely walk. I'm back to using my cane, because when both sets of hips, knees, ankles hurt equally badly, limping is . . . not so much a thing. And I have no idea when I can get this done. I will likely have to pay more to have the more expensive blood test run, and frankly, I'm fine with that at this point, because things can't go on this way. I just need to raise it, of course.

I also had the biopsy done yesterday, and my doc is an absolute artist with needles, so it didn't hurt much . . . until the anesthetic started to wear off yesterday evening. For now, the dressing is still on (I mean, the cut a pebble-sized chunk of tissue out, so it's not insignificant), and I'll need to change that later; I'm also taped within an inch of my life to try to shift the skin and get some lymph drainage to see if that helps the IBC-like symptoms that are apparently not IBC but look just like it. To that end, I've added a new item to the wishlist, because she wants us to quit using KT tape and go with a different brand that she says is safer for our skin and more effective into the bargain.  [Yeah, it's expensive, but it's all expensive.]

And there's still all the rest. Path analysis of the biopsy, which will be costly; probably the more expensive testing for the TB just so I can get the damn thing done; more bills on the last round of labs; more meds, more more more more . . . . That means sales, but I don't have the physical wherewithal to chase it, because of my pain and fatigue levels, along with some other problematic symptoms that are probably the lupus, being entirely off the charts. Still, I have to suck it up on this front, too, because we need sales, and I have to shove the rest down long enough to make some. That's it; nothing else matters right now.

Anyway, links are here:

• Sales here; 
• Testimonials here; 
• Amazon wishlist here (priorities are all the mosquito-prevention items, especially the portables and the patio-surface ones, because Wings can take them around the land with his as he works);
• Patreon here;
• Ko-fi here.

And if you've been contemplating a purchase? This would be a very, very good time to do it; I've got to make up this staggering outlay somehow. There's lots of fabulous new work, so please share all of the links. 

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Wings and Aji, 2021; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.