Little lanterns.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

They look like little lanterns, like the candlers on a Victorian Christmas tree. Except, of course, for the otherwise bare aspen branches, and the spring storm sunset backlighting their pollen-heavy strands. I could use a lantern now, even a little one, to help light my way out of this tunnel. For now, things are very, very dark. 

Part of it is that I feel so deathly awful. I had forgotten just how bad you tend to feel when the antibiotics first start kicking in. The cough is less deep in my chest, but nearly constant, and it kept me up pretty much all night, so now, I'm way beyond wiped out. The body aches are a nightmare, too, and they're complicated by all the other stuff going on: the autoimmune conditions, the breathing and heart issues, the inability to use my inhaler, the inflammatory responses, whatever might be lurking at the cellular level in various places in my body. [No, my current bronchitis-related misery does not permit me to forget the tumors in my body, and I still have no answers, only worries and doubts.] We're also worried about the kid who works for us; his mom's diagnosis a year and a half ago was not good, and she's having a great deal of trouble now. He's been back working for us helping with the heavy labor that I can no longer help Wings do (because all of it used to be just he and I, for years). Today, we told him to take her to the hospital and we'd pay him for the day anyway. Just two of many we're trying to help stay afloat somehow, along with ourselves. They could use some light, too. 

And while there's been no respite from the health problems, as I've said, there's no break from the medical and financial pressures, either. That big bill last week I put off last week because of the tax thing? I had to pay it this week. Then there was Wings's medical appointment, and scrips for both of us. And those other bills, the two hospital ones that still amount to $30K specifically, are killing me. I'm breaking under the weight of the financial pressures right now. I have to raise that $30K very fast, because that, too, is coming to a breaking point, and we can't do it without making some very big sales. [If we could sell the new concha belt and the butterfly maiden necklace, that would take care of what remains on the heart hospital bill. Then I could focus on the local one with the much higher balance, because they are the ones who are killing me with the stress. when I say "breaking point," I'm not just referring to bill collectors; I'm also referring to what my own body can take at this point, and the answer to that is "not much more."] We also can't do it without help. Here are the links:

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until May 1st for April);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back off it, because Wings can't lift the boxes right now with his shoulder;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

Sales, sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em, please) — that's what we need. Also good vibes for Raven for everything to be easy and pain-free and comfortable for him for whatever time he has, which is pretty clearly not long. We thought perhaps it might be the other night, but he made it very clear that he had decided against that, and so we will support him as long as he chooses to be here. Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.