Small fragile spirits.

Photo copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved.

The small fragile spirits are here: hummingbirds, goldfinches. At least two of the latter, males both, although I thought I also glimpsed a female. The hummingbirds have only come one at a time, but based on size disparity, there are at least two, possibly three so far.

Speaking of small fragile spirits, it's a good description of myself these days. Physically, medically (and therefore financially), I've been under siege for so long that I don't remember how to be without feeling the cracks and anticipating the breakage. I slept a little last night, finally, likely a product of the heavy-duty antibiotics. Which, of course, are making me sick in other ways today because my body is so unused to them, but whatever it takes for us both to be finally rid of this thing, I guess.

I've also had to halt my inhaler, which means more time on the O2, especially at night. I've been breaking out intermittently in hives, badly, and I thought at first it was a food allergy. The first instance occurred on the way home from the second biopsy, and I thought maybe it was a reaction to commercial peanuts, since there wasn't anything else it could have been. But it's been happening repeatedly since then, with no common trigger . . . except for the inhaler. The manufacturer doesn't list it as a side effect, even a rare one, but other medical sites do, although it's labeled "uncommon." I finally put it together yesterday, and so while I wait for the welts to disappear, no more inhaler. So I'm going to have to contact my doc on Monday and see about a different one for my asthma. It just never ends.

And while there's been no respite from the health problems, as I've said, there's no break from the medical and financial pressures, either. That big bill last week I put off last week because of the tax thing? I had to pay it this week. Then there was Wings's medical appointment, and scrips for both of us. And those other bills, the two hospital ones that still amount to $30K specifically, are killing me. I'm breaking under the weight of the financial pressures right now. I have to raise that $30K very fast, because that, too, is coming to a breaking point, and we can't do it without making some very big sales. [If we could sell the new concha belt and the butterfly maiden necklace, that would take care of what remains on the heart hospital bill. Then I could focus on the local one with the much higher balance, because they are the ones who are killing me with the stress.] We also can't do it without help. Here are the links:

• My Patreon, The Interstices (Writing Between Worlds) (and if you subscribe today you won't be billed until May 1st for April);
• Wings's site, for sales, with lots of new items posted;
• Wings's direct PayPal link;
• A way to buy me coffee (which actually goes to all of our medical bills, which continue to mount);
• Amazon wishlist, which mostly consists of animal and household stuff, with the kibble back off it, because Wings can't lift the boxes right now with his shoulder;
• Partial registry #1, from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I've added two or three new kitchen-y things on it now, stuff that I didn't realize we'd need.

Sales, sharing Wings's site (and testimonials, if you got 'em, please) — that's what we need. Also good vibes for Raven for everything to be easy and pain-free and comfortable for him for whatever time he has, which is pretty clearly not long. We thought perhaps it might be the other night, but he made it very clear that he had decided against that, and so we will support him as long as he chooses to be here. Thanks.

All content, including photos and text, are copyright Aji, 2019; all rights reserved. Nothing herein may used or reproduced in any form without the express written permission of the owner.